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| In My Pockets At the End; -Charlie- | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 4 2012, 01:21:16 AM (287 Views) | |
| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 01:21:16 AM Post #1 |
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Kelci; s:p | w:d
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8 August 2039 Monday 5:20 PM Ada wiped the ink off her hands by dragging them several times down her bare legs, then fed another blank sheet of paper into the typewriter. There was a half-smoked joint resting on her knee and she took another hit while she tapped her thumb absently against the space bar. It had been a long day -the longest day- waiting for Charlie to come home. Working with David was good for her because she had to concentrate too much to let her mind wander. She didn't like the places her mind wandered to these days. It had been a long time since she'd had a whole day to herself, and she didn't enjoy it as much as she used to. Too much time to think. She'd been sitting on the metal grate for hours- she had other work to do, but she was lost in her mind. She leaned back against the railing of the fire-escape and stared up at the ceiling of the blanket fort she'd built earlier that afternoon, letting the smoke escape her mouth slowly. Attila rubbed his face against her arm, so Ada scooped him up into her lap. "Hmm ... what am I going to do with you?" She heard the door open inside. "Charlie?" she called. Edited by Adelaide McCallen, Sep 4 2012, 01:30:38 AM.
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 4 2012, 01:49:49 AM Post #2 |
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"Yeah, it's me," Charlie confirmed. He was a nervous wreck. All anyone was talking about at work today was the rescue of the 'Forsyth Three' and he had to pretend like he didn't know anything about it. He was actually pretty terrible at pretending, but he was lucky in that he was always so awkward at work that nobody had seemed to notice. Still, all he wanted to do was collapse into a pile like he had no bones. He stepped into their room, but she wasn't there. He tossed his robe onto his bed and took off his tie as he shouted "Where are you?" |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 02:10:39 AM Post #3 |
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"Fire escape," she shouted back. She scratched the cat under the chin thoughtfully. She leaned forward with her fingers hovering above the keys of the typewriter and called out again, a disembodied voice from inside the fort. "If I die, will you take care of Attila?" |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 4 2012, 02:19:59 AM Post #4 |
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He let his tie fall to the bed when he took it off and sighed. He was not in the mood to climb through the window. Whatever, he'd just make it a doorway for the moment. He left the room and worked his magic on the window. He sighed at her question. He wasn't really in the mood. He didn't answer, though, because the fire escape didn't look right. Blankets. Okay. He ducked under and joined her, sitting on the grated floor. This was the opposite of what he wanted to do. He leaned back against the railing and stole the joint from her leg. He usually only smoked at parties. Apparently today was different. "What's all this about dying?" he asked, taking a hit. |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 02:30:49 AM Post #5 |
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Attila took one look at Charlie and stalked off to the other end of the fire escape, licking his paws judgmentally. Ada watched her boyfriend over the top of her sunglasses, too stoned already to be surprised that he was smoking in what was practically the middle of the day. "I'm drafting my will," she announced, "It seemed important." She leaned towards him and gave him a peck on the cheek, "Also, hello." |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 4 2012, 02:40:27 AM Post #6 |
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"Nooo, fuck that." He tugged on her arm with his free hand, trying to pull her away from the typewriter. "Come on, you don't have anything to will away, anyway." This was stupid. They weren't going to die. Okay, so it was stupid to think that the possibility wasn't there. However, he stood by what he said: they didn't have anything to leave in a will, so writing one was quite unnecessary even if they were going to die. |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 02:53:21 AM Post #7 |
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Ada leaned back again and rested her head on his shoulder. She stole the joint back from him, "I don't have anything worth anything, but that doesn't mean it's nothing." She took a long hit before offering it to him again. "And I like, I keep thinking about it. About what if something did happen. I'm tired of trying to not be morbid, it's exhausting and impractical." |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 4 2012, 03:06:29 AM Post #8 |
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Charlie wrapped his arm around her shoulders when she leaned her head against him. He pushed her hand away when she offered him the joint; he was done for now. She wasn't in her clear head so he thought maybe he ought to be. He was pretty fried from work as it was, though. "No, thinking about death is the impractical thing. We're all going to die and only really good diviners know when and worrying about it doesn't change it. It's impractical to write a will when all you have is clothes and a typewriter. I'll take care of Attila, and if we both die, Sorry will. And if we all die, Zoe will. And if she's dead, too, well probably Attila is as well. Can we talk about something else now? I'd rather plan for life while I have it and just let death give me a pleasant surprise when it comes." He was being more blunt that he usually would have, but he wasn't expecting to come home to this. |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 03:27:43 AM Post #9 |
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She sat up to tell him that he didn't need to be a dick about it, but she forgot what she wanted to say so she just looked at him. "I need to talk about it, Charlie, because it's all I can think about and it's too much for one person alone, especially me. I need you, and I'm sorry that I'm being stupid, but I just ... can't." She was worried, but not as much about dying as the many things that were much, much worse. |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 4 2012, 03:43:06 AM Post #10 |
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"Look, you're just stoned. You're practically hot-boxing with your cat. This is just- it's not a good idea." He took the joint away from her and extinguished it against the brick wall. It was basically finished anyway. "We can talk about it all you want when you're sober. Lets just... lets go inside and I'll make supper." He could talk about death with her if she really wanted, but not while she was high as a kite. He still thought it was futile to discuss: everybody died. You got life, and then it was over. What was there to talk about? But if she wanted to, fine. He was frustrated from work and frustrated that he had to talk about this instead of what he'd suffered through all day. He didn't want to talk to her about it while she was high, anyway. He had started feeling affected himself, and he decided too late that he didn't really want to. He took his arm back from around her shoulders and started to crawl back inside. |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 04:03:16 AM Post #11 |
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"I'm only stoned because-" She wasn't in any position to refuse food at the moment, and the offer distracted her so she followed him inside. She sat down at the table, still wearing her sunglasses because she kept feeling like she might cry at any second and she had a feeling Charlie wouldn't be very sympathetic at the moment. Which wasn't really fair, in her opinion, especially given that he was almost the entire reason she was so anxious. "Because," she continued, quiet now, "I was afraid to be alone today, and then I was afraid because being alone scared me and it never has before, and I just don't know what I would do if..." her heart was beating too fast now and she was feeling nervousness pulsing through her entire body, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm done. I'll try to be done." And then she pulled her feet up onto the chair and rested her forehead on her knees so he wouldn't have to look at her. |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 4 2012, 04:36:21 AM Post #12 |
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It hit him like a brick when Ada explained herself. It finally made sense. She wasn't worried about her death; not really. It was his. If he died and she didn't. He had never had anyone afraid to live without him before. It was a completely terrifying thought. She was totally right. Dying wasn't scary. Living was. How had he not thought about that before? About what he would do if she died? He'd never had to think about it before. They'd been together for over half a year now, but caring about another person so much still felt new to him. He'd been so independent before. They both had. But she was right; they weren't now. They relied on each other. What would he do without her? He couldn't even think about it. He was in such a state of shock that it took him a little long to react. He dropped the box of pasta he'd been holding and it bounced awkwardly on the floor; luckily for him he hadn't opened it yet. "No, Ada, I'm sorry- I didn't think..." he started as he came over to her in her chair. He sat on the edge (one of the benefits of them both being so skinny) and wrapped his arms around her. "I"m sorry you had to be alone- I didn't think- I've never had to think about that before... I care about you so much- I'm sorry for being awful on the fire escape. I wasn't even thinking about what I'd do without you. Kinda just assumed we'd go together, yeah?" he leaned is face against the top of her head. "Can't even imagine dying without you," he tried to tease. Edited by Charlie Gray, Sep 4 2012, 04:43:08 AM.
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 4 2012, 07:16:21 PM Post #13 |
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"I'm nothing if not accommodating." She tried to smile, but it was hard because she was crying now. She quickly dragged the backs of her hands over her cheeks and turned into his arms to hide her face. She shook her head at his apology because, really, what did one slightly awful moment matter in the greater scheme of things. "It's just not fair. It's not fair for any of us that we have to go through this just because we care. I mean, god, Colin and PJ, Eoin and his sister- loving someone shouldn't mean you have to worry that when they leave they might never be able to come home. It's just- it's fucked, it's so completely fucked." |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 5 2012, 01:44:41 PM Post #14 |
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Charlie nodded. It did suck. Bad things happening for good reasons, though, that sort of made it better. Ish. He patted her back. He didn't really know what to say. He wasn't all that great with emotional things, or using words, and he was pretty insecure himself. "Yeah... it's shit," he agreed lamely. He kissed the top of her head because that was easier than saying anything else. |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 7 2012, 05:59:57 PM Post #15 |
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Kelci; s:p | w:d
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She pulled away enough to throw her sunglasses down on the table and pressed her palms against her eyes, "Ugh." She couldn't handle the seriousness of the conversation anymore, even though she was the one who had taken it in that direction. She wasn't good at confronting emotions, especially if they were her own. "Stop making me feel things, you tosser," she added, punching him gently in the ribs. |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 8 2012, 11:35:42 PM Post #16 |
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"Ouch!" he complained at her punch and let her go. "I don't think I can help it," he said with a shrug and a smile. "I don't really know what I'm doing most of the time," he confessed, but kept his smile. He wasn't discouraged by the fact, for some reason. Maybe because it was working out for him for now. |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 9 2012, 03:12:38 AM Post #17 |
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Ada tilted her head and studied him for a moment, then leaned forward to kiss both corners of his smile. "Well ... I guess if I have to worry about someone, it might as well be you," she mused, smirking slightly. She wasn't in the mood to joke around, though. He hadn't been home long enough for the anxiety to work its way out of her system yet. She grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his- touching him helped. "What happened at work?" she redirected. |
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| Charlie Gray | Sep 9 2012, 03:20:05 AM Post #18 |
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He had almost completely forgotten about work. "Oh God," he said, and dropped his forehead down to rest on the table. He took a deep breath and sat up again. "Just an entire day reaffirming the fact that I am a terrible actor. All anyone could talk about was the rescue, of course, and I had the worst time reacting like a regular human being," he started feeling anxious about it all over again. "No one noticed that I could tell, though, so that's good I guess..." |
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| Adelaide McCallen | Sep 9 2012, 03:35:40 AM Post #19 |
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"Even if you are a terrible actor, at least there's nothing terribly suspicious about you," she offered. It was true. Charlie was probably about the last person anyone would suspect of being a rebel, as far as she could tell. Not that that made her worry any less. Which probably meant it wouldn't make him worry any less. She was no good at this, she was too practical to try to convince anyone that they shouldn't be nervous when they so obviously should be. She sighed and pressed her free hand against his chest, "I'm sorry, Charlie, I wish you didn't have to do this." And she really, really did wish that. |
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