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Age gaps?
Topic Started: Sep 1 2008, 09:17 PM (70 Views)
Anderia
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I was in a 10 year age gap relationship and lets just say the guy acted more immature than I did. I had to grow up real fast and support us. What a shame but I don't think that had anything to do with the age gap but more of the individual person. He was just lazy as hell.

but I do think age gaps can play a major role in how relationship play out...

What are you thoughts? Do you think having a huge age gap in a relationship can be difficult or do you think it depends on the people invovled?

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I think it can make a difference, but it depends on the two people in the relationship.. Just like two people with two different religions often struggle in relationships to decide which religion they would raise their children to believe in.. But it can work. If those two people are mentally, emotionally, and physically intune with each other. If they are a "match" so to speak, in every other way.. Except religiously, should they throw their relationship away because of that? Or should they learn to compromise and come to a happy medium and work through it?

People have the capability to make ANYTHING a difficulty in any relationships.

If you feel chemistry with someone I don't think you should pass up the opportunity to be with that person. You're passing up the opportunity of finding love, and I personally believe that's selfish. There is not enough love in the world right now. Everyone is filled with hate, and disgust. And to dismiss it, because they are older, or younger than you are, to me personally, seems selfish. Like you're throwing away a good thing over one minute detail.

People are setting all these restrictions on love.

You can't be with him, he's too old..
You can't be with her, she's too young..
You can't be with them, they kneel when they prey..
You can't be with him, he's not wealthy enough..
You can't be with her, she's not attractive enough..
Or one we can all relate to..
You can't be with her, same sex is wrong.

Don't we face enough rescrictions set upon us by society and our family to be setting more on our own?

I'm not saying you are completely wrong. Sometimes age can be a negative factor in a relationship. But simply because you had one failed relationship with someone who was younger than you does not mean that all relationships with a substantial age gap are set up for disaster.

Live free, love free.
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Anderia
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Sep 3 2008, 12:12 AM
I think it can make a difference, but it depends on the two people in the relationship.. Just like two people with two different religions often struggle in relationships to decide which religion they would raise their children to believe in.. But it can work. If those two people are mentally, emotionally, and physically intune with each other. If they are a "match" so to speak, in every other way.. Except religiously, should they throw their relationship away because of that? Or should they learn to compromise and come to a happy medium and work through it?

People have the capability to make ANYTHING a difficulty in any relationships.

If you feel chemistry with someone I don't think you should pass up the opportunity to be with that person. You're passing up the opportunity of finding love, and I personally believe that's selfish. There is not enough love in the world right now. Everyone is filled with hate, and disgust. And to dismiss it, because they are older, or younger than you are, to me personally, seems selfish. Like you're throwing away a good thing over one minute detail.

People are setting all these restrictions on love.

You can't be with him, he's too old..
You can't be with her, she's too young..
You can't be with them, they kneel when they prey..
You can't be with him, he's not wealthy enough..
You can't be with her, she's not attractive enough..
Or one we can all relate to..
You can't be with her, same sex is wrong.

Don't we face enough rescrictions set upon us by society and our family to be setting more on our own?

I'm not saying you are completely wrong. Sometimes age can be a negative factor in a relationship. But simply because you had one failed relationship with someone who was younger than you does not mean that all relationships with a substantial age gap are set up for disaster.

Live free, love free.

First, I never had a failed relationship because someone was younger than me
Second, I didn't say my relationship failed because the person was older than me, I said it failed because of the individual

So I have this unwritten rule about dating people under 21...to me that seems like a kid ( no disrespect to the 18-20) but that person pretty much just got out of high school in my eyes. Are there some 18-20 mature people..of course I can't deny that. I have a meet any one that was between 18-20 that held my interest and maybe think about my rule.....nope I haven't. It has never been that deep for me so I see no reason to change it. Would I ever change the rule if someone under 21 came along and blew my mind...hmmmm I just don't know until that time approaches me so until then it is what it is.....

Do I believe age gap relationships can work..sure tit can..can a age gap be the down fall of a relationship...sure it can...

The only restrictions that I face are the ones I put upon myself....

I am always open to all things even with my rules...My heart is still wide open...


Kisses and much love! :evilgrin
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Quote:
 
I was in a 10 year age gap relationship and lets just say the guy acted more immature than I did. I had to grow up real fast and support us. What a shame but I don't think that had anything to do with the age gap but more of the individual person. He was just lazy as hell.


I realize that at the end, you do say that you dont believe it was the age gap but the individual.. But if that's the case, why did you choose that relationship as an example in a topic about age gaps? To me that implies that somewhere in your head you do believe that the age difference had something to do with the failure of the relationship.

As for the age restriction, and whatnot.. Personally, I think setting that reSTRICTion is a programming within the brain that does not allow you to give whatever has been restricted a chance.

When you meet someone who is 18-20, say you find them physically attracted.. Then you find out their age. Is it an automatic, oh they're off limits due to my age restriction.. Or are you still open minded as to what they are about? Or do you automatically see them as never crossing that friendship boundary?

Food for thought.
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Anderia
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Sep 3 2008, 01:32 AM
Quote:
 
I was in a 10 year age gap relationship and lets just say the guy acted more immature than I did. I had to grow up real fast and support us. What a shame but I don't think that had anything to do with the age gap but more of the individual person. He was just lazy as hell.


I realize that at the end, you do say that you dont believe it was the age gap but the individual.. But if that's the case, why did you choose that relationship as an example in a topic about age gaps? To me that implies that somewhere in your head you do believe that the age difference had something to do with the failure of the relationship.

As for the age restriction, and whatnot.. Personally, I think setting that reSTRICTion is a programming within the brain that does not allow you to give whatever has been restricted a chance.

When you meet someone who is 18-20, say you find them physically attracted.. Then you find out their age. Is it an automatic, oh they're off limits due to my age restriction.. Or are you still open minded as to what they are about? Or do you automatically see them as never crossing that friendship boundary?

Food for thought.

The reason why I use that relationship as an example was because it was the only relationship that I was in that I feel had a big age gap.

Also I wouldn't based my entire connection with someone based on physical attraction. Just because they maybe hot doesn't mean I'm going to be drooling all over them. I need a little more than outer beauty. And if I felt there were some REAL connection between me and a person under 21, the option of anything else might be on the table. It all depends on the situation and the individual person. I don't want to say I will never date anyone under 21 because with my luck it will be someone under 21 that might blow my mind...but thank goodness I have a right change my mind...lol
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Also I wouldn't based my entire connection with someone based on physical attraction. Just because they maybe hot doesn't mean I'm going to be drooling all over them. I need a little more than outer beauty.


I'm not trying to imply that your entire connection with someone would be based off of physical attraction. But.. That is usually how it starts. When you're sitting in a club, and decide to approach someone, 9 times out of 10 you approach the one you're attracted to, not the one you're least attracted to. Right? So I was saying, for example. You're in a club, you approach them, and they're not quite at your age range that you prefer..... Was an example, not a literal meaning of how you find people for which you date.. lol
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