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Broken Masks; Tag: Gwen/Kolly
Topic Started: Sep 9 2014, 07:27 PM (526 Views)
EbonyDusk
Timetraveler~
Drudges whispered of a young woman that used to hold herself like she were a Lord Holder's wife, or a Lord Holder herself. Now that same woman would lurk about, a once proud thing turned into a shadow of its former self. Even the Headwoman felt pity for her and lowered her work load to give her some time and space. No one was sure what exactly had happened but they knew it involved the bluerider she had been seeing. It was obvious they weren't together anymore and the breakup HAD to have been bad. Bitsa had actually been crying when another drudge found her in the baths up near the Rider's weyrs. She even let them help her back to her room without so much as a nasty word.

After that the once haughty girl kept her head low. Didn't meet anyone's gaze while talking to them. Bitsa still had her moments where her usual attitude and personality would shine through but it was suddenly very rare to even get her to speak a simple yes or no. When she did speak it was in an almost emotionless tone with a blank expression. It was as if she no longer knew how to properly express herself anymore. So she didn't show...anything. There were many rumors that got thrown around about what happened. Those that knew who the rider was knew about his friendship with another rider called R'jin. They were the ones that got it closer to the truth than most. Sticking to the non-complicated reasoning that R'jin had just made his friend choose between the two.

Better than the ones saying that Z'ahp had dumped Bitsa cause she had been sleeping with R'jin the whole time. There were many along those lines. None knew that there hadn't really been an official breakup. Bitsa just...didn't go back. She avoided Z'ahp and R'jin like Threadfall. Couldn't bare to show her face to either of them. That day she saw something horrible inside of herself that had scared her witless. All it had taken was one look at that poor innocent face on the verge of tears to make her realize what she had been doing was WRONG.

Her mood had gotten worse after finding out there had been a Flight and she had heard the talk that the dragon had been R'jin's dragon. Z'ahp's dragon had chased but hadn't won but Bitsa somehow just KNEW that they had ended up together anyway. There was no possible, rational way she COULD have known that. But her thoughts were anything but rational those days it seemed. They were behind her, in the past now, but that feeling wouldn't leave her alone. That sense that she had ruined what could have been something good, something real in her life. Even if he couldn't have always been hers for...many reasons...Perhaps they could have been friends. Something she had forgotten how much she missed. It wasn't possible anymore though. Not after what she had done. He probably hated her now. R'jin would make him happier.

Bitsa didn't deserve that kind of happiness it seemed. No matter how hard she tried it would just slip through her fingers. Just like with her old friend from home... Most days she could rise above such thoughts and resume her usual routines. Some though she would hit a low and just couldn't get back up.

On one such day she had taken a personal day to spend time in her secret place. That little abandoned storage room she kept her little stock of lost treasures. It had grown substantially before the Z'ahp incident. Nothing new since though. Bitsa was going through it all and organizing everything. Shoo was napping on an empty barrel that was in the room. Having stuffed himself with the majority of his owner's lunch. He was worried about her. She kept giving him her food after only nibbling on it. Her thoughts and emotions were erratic and jumbled nearly all the time and she actually cuddled him more often. Hugging him to her body at night as if she were terrified he'd disappear if she let go. Shoo didn't really mind too much, but it left him concerned.

Usually Bitsa kept the door to the room closed at all times, whether she was in it or not. That day she didn't think to. Left wide open because she knew hardly anyone ever passed by that part of the Lower Caverns. Not during lunch anyway. People were too busy eating or working. She had a piece of soft clothe in her hands, thread on another nearby barrel, and a sewing needle in her teeth sticking from between her lips. Bitsa was testing how a pretty blue thread looked on the light creamy colored clothe. The stitching was making a design that looked a bit like a dragon reared on this back legs. She felt rather proud of the work and it soothed her to do something she loved so much.

It distracted her from how frazzled and disheveled she probably looked to anyone else, when usually she'd have a fit over even one hair being out of place. Her face looked gaunt and there were dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. Shoulders slumped, pale green dress wrinkled, and hair frizzed with strands loose from the braid. The only thing that was steady were her hands while she sewed. Bitsa looked a mess but at least she seemed to have a faint smile on her face for once since what happened. So long as no one disturbed her she felt she would be just fine...

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Kolstoi
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She'd taken a bit of a knock to the back of the head earlier during the morning's drills, having slipped while she'd been in the middle of dismounting from Eamith's neck. The brown had managed to mostly cushion her fall with the timely intervention of his forepaw, but she'd still bumped herself on the ground and, goodness, it smarted.

Gwen rubbed at it, whining quietly to herself. The healer had said that she was fine, would maybe have some minor bruising but had otherwise been very lucky. But she still had a headache and her concentration was wobbly at best. She was looking for the little nook she liked to sit and rest in down in the lower caverns, but was having the most rotten luck. Was her memory usually this bad?

Yes, Eamith assured her, sounding completely sincere.

Well, that was no help. Frowning down the hallway, she perked up slightly when she noticed an indentation that signified the presence of one of the little alcoves, and made a beeline for it, eager to settle down on the couch and put her feet up, maybe take a nap.

Gwen came sashaying into the room with full confidence that it was exactly what she thought it was, only to kind of slowly stumble to a stop somewhere in the middle and give her surroundings a befuddled look. When her eyes landed on Bitsa she paused, as if unsure if she'd interrupted some drudge's afternoon break (did they get those?), but took in the pale green fabric of the dress and ultimately decided that she was likely a lower cavern's woman. Drudges didn't typically wear things so fine.

Or sew with such pretty thread, for that matter.

"That's a lovely blue," Gwen ventured, bobbing a little in greeting. "It looks very nice on that fabric. You have such wonderful taste!" She swept closer, now both excited and curious. Gwen's sewing skills had been seeing a steady decline recently, and she'd never been able to embroider very well, but that didn't stop her from being deeply impressed with this woman's abilities.

"Oh! It's a dragon! Or...it's going to be?" She said after a moment of intense concentration, face lighting up with her smile. "You're very good!"

How does this always happen? You're always just bumbling into people and then nosing into their private business. Gwen, that is rude. You are being rude. Eamith huffed, though mostly for show. He really just wanted the moral high ground, for whatever reason.

"Uhm, sorry, Eamith says I'm being rude," she said with a shy smile. "But I really just wanted to tell you that your stitching is beautiful! And so neat! If I'm interrupting your break or rest time or something I can take myself elsewhere...this isn't actually where I was looking for in the first place."

Did she really need to know all that?

Hush, honey. I want to talk to her about sewing!
♥ Marble Wingleader Bryn & Garnet Izaxth ♥ Shale Wingrider A'yar & Copper Sith ♥ Ruby Class Weyrlings Ayanna & Copper Acosezeth ♥ Sandstone Wingrider Gwen & Brown Eamith ♥ Dragonhealer/Amber Wingrider T'ian & Blue Kyzzith ♥ Shale Wingrider H'ic & Green Cearth ♥Marble Wingrider L'aal & Graphite Aelith ♥ Steel Squad Tosst & Grey Tosk ♥ Brass Squad Heliodor & Green HeskAilwyn, dragon candidate ♥ Black Weyrling B'wen & Black Tristonth

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EbonyDusk
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Bitsa had been intently focused on her sewing when the stranger stumbled into the room. At first her eyes flicked up at them without much thought until she realized...there was someone in her 'secret sanctum'. Her place of peace was invaded. Her body went rigid and her eyes widened as her head turned fully toward the other woman. Pupils had become pinpricks as startled panic started to rise up in her chest making it constrict painfully. Her jaw slacked making her mouth hang open stupidly as she stared at the person now talking to her. And moving closer. Shoo could feel Bitsa starting to reel out of control, the struggling thoughts coming from her snapped him awake. He was uncurled and arching his back with a soft hiss at the stranger in mere seconds.

For a few moments she couldn't comprehend what they were even saying. As if they were speaking some alien language. She could only stare at them in blatant fear till she realized what had caught their interest. Bitsa slowly looked down at the clothe in her lap then back at the woman. Was she...complimenting her work? Yes. It felt strange since she had NEVER shown people the things she usually worked on. Her abilities in tailoring and sewing were one skill she held dear and fiercely protected from the scrutiny of others by hiding it away. To actually hear someone praising something as simple as single embroidery had her baffled. What also had her confused was how cheery they were. Who acted so perky meeting a stranger like that? What were they up to? What did they want? The paranoid questions ran through her mind in rapid succession and were getting Shoo riles up too. The little blue flit was puffing himself up while glaring his burning red eyes at the other girl.

She opened her mouth, face showing discomfort and her panic, to tell them to go away. To say they WERE interrupting and she didn't appreciate it. That they could take their empty flattery and shove it where the sun didn't shine. Words that would have easily jumped from her mouth before and almost reflexively came to her mind now. But what slipped through her lips in a raspy voice that sounded like someone that hadn't spoken in months was...

"Thank you...? Who...are you?" Bitsa's surprise in her own words was clearly visible. Why didn't she tell them to leave? Chase them off and threaten them to never come back? This was HER space! HER private place away from everyone and everything. They were going to ruin it. She'd have to move everything. They'd probably steal something when she wasn't looking. Were they there to laugh at her? Were they like some of the drudges that pointed and snickered behind her back? Were those knots? She's a rider! She probably knows THEM. Probably wants to tell everyone how pathetic she looked hiding from the world. Spread nasty rumors. Her mind wouldn't stop, kept throwing one thing after another at her still that small voice deep inside spoke in its soft way.

Enough...no more.

Just like that the black thoughts stopped. They didn't go away. Simply stopped shouting in her head for that blessed moment.

"You...like this? Its nothing." The words were struggled and forced, but she felt the need to say SOMETHING more. That tiny soft voice was the one whispering now. Gently in her ear. Nudging her to push aside her instinct to lash out and speak like an actual human being for once. Bitsa's face though was back under control, devoid of emotions except for the cautious uncertainty evident in her eyes. Shoo was still on guard too, body puffed and teeth bared just in case.
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Kolstoi
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Gwen paused for a moment, made uncertain by the discomfort written plainly on the other woman's face. As much as she liked to socialize with and befriend the random strangers she happened across in her day to day life (K'noa being a fairly recent and good example), she never aimed to make anyone feel uncomfortable or forced. She laced her fingers together, wringing her hands slightly, seeming to deflate a little.

But then the woman was talking, and asking questions, even! Gwen relaxed, though she kept her hands clasped in front of her, mostly as a way to keep herself from reaching for the embroidery in order to coo over it some more.

"I'm Gwen," she chirped, "And my brown's name is Eamith." After a moment of realization that this woman probably didn't care about her dragons' name - nonriders didn't always, or perhaps felt that it was miscellaneous information - Gwen tacked on, "Who are you?"

It was an innocent enough question, she thought. Gwen bounced slightly on the balls of her feet, seeming eager to hear Bitsa's reply. She didn't have long to wait until something else was being said, and she happily pounced on the topic of conversation.

"I do like it! You must sew a lot to have gotten so good at that. I'm jealous!"

♥ Marble Wingleader Bryn & Garnet Izaxth ♥ Shale Wingrider A'yar & Copper Sith ♥ Ruby Class Weyrlings Ayanna & Copper Acosezeth ♥ Sandstone Wingrider Gwen & Brown Eamith ♥ Dragonhealer/Amber Wingrider T'ian & Blue Kyzzith ♥ Shale Wingrider H'ic & Green Cearth ♥Marble Wingrider L'aal & Graphite Aelith ♥ Steel Squad Tosst & Grey Tosk ♥ Brass Squad Heliodor & Green HeskAilwyn, dragon candidate ♥ Black Weyrling B'wen & Black Tristonth

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EbonyDusk
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Shoo seemed to relax from his protective stance as Bitsa calmed down. Not by much, there was that usual irritation she used to always feel around people she saw as beneath her. Which had been just about everyone at Vaioa. That was changing though, that male human and his companion had struck something inside of his mistress that had her quaking deep inside. He little blue wasn't sure how to feel about the change, some of it felt 'good' and 'right' yet he could also feel the fear and discomfort that came with it. He eyed the newcomer carefully as he settled back down, body still tense and waiting to strike.

Bitsa felt herself treading on thin ice as she engaged the girl. Her attempt at being sociable felt strained at best but she was determined not to back down from the challenge. She didn't make eye contact as they gave their name, only glanced sideways at her at the mention of a dragon. 'Brown' could have meant a firelizard or even a wher but there was no mistaking that unique 'th' sound at the end of the name. Not to mention the knots she noticed before already told 'Gwen' was a rider.

"Gwen..." She said hesitantly as if tasting the name on her tongue. It was a pretty name that made you think of a pretty kind of girl. Her eyes darted to Gwen as that thought crossed her mind. Well...she wasn't BAD looking. Seemed a bit heavy but from what she could see a lot of it was muscle. That seemed to be a theme with dragonriders. Many had well toned muscles or like this one, not well toned but still noticeable. Those hips too...wide and well rounded but obviously strong. Strong legs too...

Why am I staring at her legs?

The thought snapped her from her thoughts quickly and her body tensed up even more. She had almost missed the inquiry for her name. So they didn't know who she was by sight. Perhaps she would be lucky and they didn't know who she was at all. It was possible. After all the Weyr was actually fairly huge. What if she DID know her name? What sort of things had she heard? Probably all bad things. All the drudges hated her and had already spread nasty things about her before everything happened. There her brain went again, thinking up the worst possible scenario. Bitsa took a deep breath before finally answering in a low tone.

"Bitsa. This is Shoo." She offered her name and flicked her hand toward the blue flit eyeing Gwen warily. Bitsa was eyeing her too as she responded to her question about liking the little design she sewed. Jumping a bit at how quickly Gwen jumped to talk about it. "I...do. Sew a lot. Just a hobby."

Sure. A hobby. One that had her making dresses and other fine clothes with whatever material she could get her hands on. So many of them hidden under her bed back in her room and some in her chest.

What made her lips twitch ever so slightly upward was Gwen's remark about being 'jealous'. For the longest time she thought the thing people would envy about her was her grace, her looks, and everything she could own. And here was someone 'jealous' of what she could do with a simple embroidery. How would this person react to see a full on piece of clothing? It had Bitsa...pleasantly curious for once. But feeling that near smile made her freeze up again and she seemed to start withdrawing within herself.

Why even get your hopes up? Its all a trick. Don't fall for it. You've played this game before. Build them up and throw them down.

"Why are you here...? Are you lost?" Bitsa's tone turned neutral as she asked the question, remembering that Gwen said that she had been looking for somewhere different. Her mind going into autopilot to try and get rid of the girl. If she had to lead her out of there so be it. She wouldn't stand to be tricked in her one place of solitude.
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"Wellllll," Gwen dragged out, managing to somehow both smile and look sheepish. "I'm not exactly sure where I am, and this isn't where I meant to end up, but I don't really think that I'm lost?"

Eamith sniffed at that one. That makes it sound like you're flirting with her, he informed his rider, doubting that this Bitsa person would be amused or impressed. And that doesn't seem to be your intention, so maybe watch your wording?

Gwen wrinkled her nose at the thought (not of flirting with Bitsa, that was a perfectly fine thought, but rather the one of being careful of what words she was picking when this was a relatively peaceful situation), and instead of vacating the room like she was probably supposed to, she settled herself against one of the nearby barrels. She was an intent spectator, hands folded in her lap with her fingers interlaced. It was the safest way she'd found for not reaching out to touch things that she didn't necessarily have permission to.

"I was looking for a different room down here," she elaborated. "One with a nice little couch and an ottoman. I like to take naps in it since it's closer to the kitchens than my weyr is, and I like the buzz of noise in the background."

It was probably in all likelihood a few alcoves down, but Gwen was content to stay where she was for now. Quiet pops announced the presence of Honeybunch and Husband, who had finally found their mistress. She hadn't been where she had said she was going! That was confusing! Little blue Husband creeled pathetically and flopped across his lady's lap, not even giving Shoo or Bitsa a glance. Honeybunch, much more well mannered, perched on a barrel and chirped sweetly at their new friends.

"Oh! These are my little babies, Bitsa! This silly blue is my Husband, and the greenie over there is my Honeybunch. Aren't they darling?" Gwen made soft cooing noises at the flit in her lap, giggling when he warbled at her.
♥ Marble Wingleader Bryn & Garnet Izaxth ♥ Shale Wingrider A'yar & Copper Sith ♥ Ruby Class Weyrlings Ayanna & Copper Acosezeth ♥ Sandstone Wingrider Gwen & Brown Eamith ♥ Dragonhealer/Amber Wingrider T'ian & Blue Kyzzith ♥ Shale Wingrider H'ic & Green Cearth ♥Marble Wingrider L'aal & Graphite Aelith ♥ Steel Squad Tosst & Grey Tosk ♥ Brass Squad Heliodor & Green HeskAilwyn, dragon candidate ♥ Black Weyrling B'wen & Black Tristonth

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EbonyDusk
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Bitsa found herself unsure of how she was feeling when she looked at Gwen. Just when she had settled on cold indifference and to chase her off the girl had to go and look so...what was that word? Endearing? Cute. That was it. What was WITH riders at Vaioa and being so sharding innocent and adorable looking? Maybe that was why they were known for having so much random sex with each other. Why had her mind gone there? Sex of all things was the last thing she wanted to think about in her current situation. Yet it flowed there easily looking at that sheepish smile and those seemingly flirtatious words. Her body kept tensing up so often she felt like she had been exercising for hours now.

"I...see." It was all Bitsa could think to say. Her usual reaction to assuming another woman was hitting on her had been to turn tail and run as far away as possible. Maybe cause a scene to make them back off. But no one was there to make a scene, and Gwen seemed harmless enough. It was entirely possible Bitsa was just completely misinterpreting things out of stress. She watched how Gwen's nose wrinkled and wondered what she was thinking. The faraway expression that was there for a moment told her it was probably her dragon. Bitsa had gotten used to the look when she had been with Z'ahp. Her body squirmed seeing Gwen sit down and get comfy. Making it clear she wasn't planning to leave. Shards...

"Oh. I know the place. Its just down the way." Indeed it was close and suddenly she realized the girl really wasn't that lost. Just misplaced. Bitsa had used the room more than once for her own naps during a break. She had never thought about how you could hear the noises of the kitchen's from there but Gwen was right. The background sounds did help in lulling one to sleep oddly enough. Had she seen Gwen there before and never noticed? It was likely. Squirming again she looked down at her clothe trying to think. Shoo was poking at her through their link, curious as to what he should do. He wanted to chase Gwen off to make his owner happy. It was a tempting idea, make the flit take care of it, but that made her feel like a coward. Was that what she was reduced to? Hiding like some scared child?

Shoo and Bitsa were both distracted from their thoughts when two new firelizards showed up. Before she had gotten her own flit the little creatures had repelled her. Noisy, nosy, and messy pests that did nothing but cause trouble. Shoo had changed her opinion, somewhat. She no longer immediately judged them on sight at least. Though he still didn't trust the strange girl the blue perked up seeing the other two flits and let out a courteous chirp in greeting. His eyes seemed to stick to the green. Oh he liked greens. So quick and perky! And oh so pretty. His chirping turned to sweet trills in response to Honeybunch. Bitsa could have rolled her eyes at the blues obvious flirting if she wasn't so distracted by Gwen cooing and giggling at a firelizard.

"Husband...?" She had heard some pretty crazy names for firelizards before. Many of them accidents just like Shoo's. But Husband? Why would someone name a flit such a thing? Bitsa was curious but a small war waged inside her mind. Should she even bother showing interest? Curiosty killed the wherry and asking questions meant becoming invested in knowing more about the girl. Hadn't she decided not long ago to not care? Shaking her head sadly she straightened her back and tried to look as blank as possible. Something she used to be so good at but that once perfect mask had fallen and shattered in the wake of her much needed wake up call. So instead her expression showed her warring interest and indifference, and almost pained looked. "Darling. Yes. When they are small perhaps. Little pests when they are bigger."

Ok that was harsh. Shoo was as well behaved as anyone could hope for without any formal training. The blue even looked a little hurt that his owner would say such a thing. His little eyes swirled greenish yellow as he crooned at her. Bitsa winced at the sound and instantly regretted what she said. She did her best to send him reassuring thoughts to show she was sorry. Her eyes darted to Gwen and she added in a mumbling voice.

"SOME of them anyway." It was becoming frustrating trying to adjust from what her old habits wanted her to say and do. She really did want to try but it felt like too much pressure all of a sudden. One shaky hand lifted to gently rub against her temple. "Forgive me. I'm not very...good at this." At what she didn't think or want to explain to a stranger. "I do not mean to seem rude." Her words sounded so formal to her own ears. It was the way she had been taught to speak her whole life back in her old home. Prim, proper, polite. Now under stress and discomfort she fell into habits even older than her old bad attitude. Before it had all truly began.

[ooc: I'm sorry this took so long! Was dealing with stuff and the accident, and stuff. Hope its ok!]
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Gwen chortled, delicately taking hold of Husband's little fore-feet and gently moving them about, making it look like the firelizard was doing some strange kind of dance from where he was sprawled across her thighs on his back. "Yes, Husband. When he hatched he was so pitiful, just dragging his tiny little body towards me and whining and crying because he was so hungry. Firelizards are so funny, you know? They love you at first only because you're feeding them. But anyway, he was so helpless and silly and whiny, and I knew that since I'd become a Rider I'd never be able to have a proper husband, so he was as good as I was going to get!"

She looked up with a wide grin, cheeks pinking a little. It was kind of embarrassing to explain her reasoning out loud to someone else, where it sounded silly and a bit dumb, even to her own ears. "I still sometimes realize I'll never be able to go back to that life, you know? I've been with Eamith for turns now but sometimes I still forget. Dragonriders don't marry, or even settle down at all, really."

Husband peeped at her, immersed in this fun dance-y game they were playing. Thankfully too immersed to notice that Honeybunch had answered with a sweet whistling trill of her own, not above flirting with strange flits she'd just met. Gwen listened to Bitsa's commentary on firelizards, nodding along amiably. Honeybunch had always been a darling, and for all that Husband was generally well behaved, he could also be a menace when he felt he wasn't getting enough attention.

Her lips pulled into a tiny frown when Bitsa apologized, and she wondered if the woman had a headache, what with the way she was rubbing at her temple. "You're not being rude at all, Bitsa," Gwen reassured the other woman, making a patting motion with her hand in the air, as if she could swat away Bitsa's concerns. "If you're not feeling well, though, I could take my leave. I'd suggest a nap on that couch I mentioned earlier, actually!"

Gwen wriggled her way off of the barrel in preparation, Husband giving a soft whine and a hiss when he was displaced. The blue clung to the fabric of her shirt with tenacity, rending little pinpricks in the fabric with his claws.
♥ Marble Wingleader Bryn & Garnet Izaxth ♥ Shale Wingrider A'yar & Copper Sith ♥ Ruby Class Weyrlings Ayanna & Copper Acosezeth ♥ Sandstone Wingrider Gwen & Brown Eamith ♥ Dragonhealer/Amber Wingrider T'ian & Blue Kyzzith ♥ Shale Wingrider H'ic & Green Cearth ♥Marble Wingrider L'aal & Graphite Aelith ♥ Steel Squad Tosst & Grey Tosk ♥ Brass Squad Heliodor & Green HeskAilwyn, dragon candidate ♥ Black Weyrling B'wen & Black Tristonth

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EbonyDusk
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Bitsa couldn't get over how carefree the other girl seemed in how she acted. Playing with her firelizard in such a silly manner with a complete stranger watching. She listened to the story of when the flit hatched and despite herself felt amused. Shoo hadn't been pitiful, hadn't whined or cried for food. He had DEMANDED attention and sustenance. The blue had known what he wanted and like the little prince he was expected it to be given to him without complaint. That had been one of the few reasons why she came to actually like the flits presence. Could even go as far as to say she cared for the little spoiled lizard. Focusing back on Gwen she took note of her words. "Never be able to have a proper husband". So Riders thought about such things too? That was unexpected.

Gwen's cheeks touched with pink also caught Bitsa's notice, as hard as she tried not to see it. The explanation for the flit's name was indeed unusual and rather ridiculous. But did she have to blush and make her look even cuter than before? Since Z'ahp she discovered a weakness in her. A soft spot for the 'adorable', the 'innocent' looking sort. So she had been avoiding such people even more so than regular folk. Yet here she was trapped in a room with one and her traitorous brain wouldn't stop pointing out those soft, cutesy features Gwen seemed to have in abundance. If Gwen had been a man it wouldn't have been nearly as uncomfortable to be realizing all those things but she wasn't. She was a woman and that fact poked and prodded at that place inside Bitsa that she was still struggling to accept even existed.

FOCUS! Don't just gape at her like some idiotic twit! You want her gone remember?

Right. Gone. And she was talking too she needed to respond didn't she.

"Yes. Always seems Riders have no need for such ties to one person do they." The words came out sounding harsh and bitter. Bitsa cleared her throat and turned her eyes away. After apologizing she hadn't expected Gwen to be reassuring much less offer to finally leave. She watched Gwen move to leave and her brain came to a screeching halt and something else seemed to take over. The voice that left her didn't sound like her own. It sounded small, scared, and desperate. The words were the opposite of what she had thought she wanted to say before.

"Wait! Please, don't go. I mean...you don't have to leave." Now it was her turn to have her cheeks painted pink and she looked back down at her hands tightly clenching the fabric she had been working on. Her nails were digging into her palms through the clothe. Shoo, who had been sweetly trilling and chirping to the nearby green firelizard suddenly went rigid. Snapping his attention to Bitsa he took off to land gently on her shoulder and nuzzle her with croons of concern. He had felt immense panic and fear coming from her in that moment. One single thought had screamed through their bond.

DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!

"You've been very kind to give me company. I'm just not used to people willingly speaking with me anymore," Bitsa thought about how everyone started avoiding her even before what happened. At least those that knew her. She had told herself she hadn't cared, that it was better that way since she hadn't wanted their concern or pity anyway. But beneath all that she still felt the sharp sting of loneliness caused by her own hand. She unclenched a hand to reach up and gently brush her fingertips against Shoo's neck to soothe him. He was trembling on her shoulder from worry and kept glaring at Gwen as if it were her fault. "So I'm a bit out of practice being...social."

How ironic that was. Since she used to think of herself as the perfect social butterfly who could charm the feathers off a wherry if she chose to.

"If you still wish to go I understand. I only wanted to explain. I didn't want you to feel I was chasing you away." Bitsa found the urge to cringe at how formal she sounded. Part of why she had dropped the style of speaking when she was young was for that reason. It made her sound like she had a stick up her bum, like both of her parents seemed to have back then. Her shoulders drooped slightly and she added in a slightly softer voice. So meek compared to how it used to be. Deep, and smooth as golden honey filled with her confidence (arrogance), and charm (manipulativeness). Now it was shaky and unsure, barely a whisper. "I-I've done that to too many others..."
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She'd started to make her way to the door, but Bitsa's outburst (comparatively an outburst anyway, when you thought about the rest of the conversation that they'd had up until that point) had her scooting backward almost immediately, rump plopping unceremoniously right back on the barrel that it had vacated.

Gwen would be lying if she said that she wasn't alarmed. Something was obviously very wrong here, and she was beginning to wonder if she'd wandered into a more private moment than she'd originally thought. Honeybunch hadn't moved from her spot, though she'd quieted, eyes whirling in confusion. Husband took his time scaling the front of Gwen's shirt, crawling up her shoulder and hiding himself in her hair, too concerned with his own comfort to pay attention to the weirdness unfolding around him.

"I'll stay, if you like," she said, though her tone had gentled to something less vibrant and more concerned. "I don't feel like you were trying to chase me out."

Now she was conflicted. Eamith had told her time and again that it wasn't appropriate to hug strangers the first time that you've met them, but Bitsa looked for all the world like she needed one. She fidgeted slightly, and eventually settled for scooting closer and leaning forward, mindful of the flit that was staring balefully at her.

"Why would people not want to speak to you?" Gwen asked, slowly puzzling her way through this odd conversational turn. "That's awfully rude of them."

Honeybunch hummed agreement, and for a while Gwen contemplated continuing that topic, but felt that maybe the mood was getting a bit strained. Instead, she waved her hand at the piece of embroidery that Bitsa was clutching, attempting to redirect their attention to it.

"Do you think you could teach me how to do that?" She asked, almost wistful.
♥ Marble Wingleader Bryn & Garnet Izaxth ♥ Shale Wingrider A'yar & Copper Sith ♥ Ruby Class Weyrlings Ayanna & Copper Acosezeth ♥ Sandstone Wingrider Gwen & Brown Eamith ♥ Dragonhealer/Amber Wingrider T'ian & Blue Kyzzith ♥ Shale Wingrider H'ic & Green Cearth ♥Marble Wingrider L'aal & Graphite Aelith ♥ Steel Squad Tosst & Grey Tosk ♥ Brass Squad Heliodor & Green HeskAilwyn, dragon candidate ♥ Black Weyrling B'wen & Black Tristonth

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