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Seeking Solace; Tag Cat/Terri!
Topic Started: Oct 5 2014, 04:15 PM (253 Views)
Skyrunner
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Lovable Creampuff
Dearly Departed
((Taking place shortly after one of the off-screen Threadfalls.))

There were few places one could go to escape dragons in a Weyr. They were everywhere. The Infirmary, the water cavern, the Bowl...even the kitchens had the youngest dragons occasionally and no end of firelizards. So where did one go to escape their sight without retreating to private quarters? For some reason, Jiraela found herself wandering the halls of the Lower Caverns, reluctant to return to her apartment behind the Infirmary but needing to be away from dragons.

Normally there were not many opportunities for Jynx's skills to be utilized after Threadfall. Not her specialty anyway. The Rubikon 'Fall a few sevendays ago had several broken bones, some more serious than others. Dragon wings, human arms... The Sandy Bay and Cienna 'Falls had none, so Jiraela had aided in triage and stitching. She still had a master's rank, after all. She had a general skillset outside her specialty.

But the Big Bay 'Fall three days ago. Early afternoon, so there had been plenty of time to prepare the Bowl for triage. They had said Rubikon was bad. Jiraela would say Big Bay was worse. The sun setting in the west, the direction Thread had fallen, had blinded many dragons, made the Thread hard to see. Jiraela had overseen amputations that day. She had cut an arm from a rider at the shoulder, one dragon's foot, another rider's hand...and collisions had been rampant. Crushed chests, dislocated limbs, broken appendages... Jiraela had her work cut out for her then.

It had been two days of solid work. Jiraela hadn't slept, had barely eaten, and had spent most of her time covered in blood and ichor. When her expertise hadn't been needed, she'd retreated and spent a day sleeping. Trying to sleep. She hadn't succeeded. The night terrors had been terrible, even while waking. The extract oil she'd traded from Sylp, the bluehandler, had been the only reason she hadn't gone for fellis.

Today... Today she wanted nothing to do with dragons. Or her craft. What did she want? Tea. Tea and warmth. Would she ever get warm again? She swore she hadn't been in 20 turns. As she walked through the Lower Caverns, she was grateful for the lack of traffic this late in the evening. At the candlemark most would be retreating to their weyrs for sleep, Jiraela found a secluded sitting room and hearth near the dining hall. Her cane tapped the ground lightly, rhythmically as she decided this would be good enough.

She sat near the hearth, leaning her cane against the arm of the chair and sitting back. If she could disappear... If she could close her eyes and all this be a terrible dream...

Alsarith, wait for me, she pleaded with the dark void that had once been a dragon.

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The Great Enabler
Terrian couldn't sleep, his mind buzzed with activity half baked thoughts and feelings zipping in one ear and out the other without leaving the slightest meaning or impact on his path of thought. he'd tried things, he'd tried sitting down hunching over his work table and jotting some words down as they sprang to mind, tribute song to the present weyr leader? could be but not yet. a song of the many colours of dragons? He made note of that one, or maybe on of each since he already had one such tribute written and was for once quite happy with his work, maybe he should individualize the colours, yes each one was special and each deserved their own song.

But the words just weren't coming to him. He decided he needed a breather, evenings were a pretty good time to clear ones head of distractions since most were settled for sleep, except the Wher handlers…hopefully he wouldn’t bump into them, he made no secret that the hulking creatures scared him. He stood up pushing his chair away as he did so much to the annoyance of Drey, the blue firelizard who had been perched on the back of the chair flapped off with an indignant squawk deciding to occupy the unmoving wardrobe glowering at Terrian. Drey was always cranky in the evenings for one reason or another, mostly because the flit didn’t like feeling tired until he was good and ready to be tired.

“Go to bed you silly creature” Terrian said a fondness in his tone taking the edge off his words, sending him a mental picture of the firelizard curled up on his bed. That seemed to be all Drey needed to cool his heels as the blue flew over his head and to the bed where he very carefully curled himself up in the center of Terrian’s pillow, an air of distinct satisfaction and smugness radiating from the blue.

Terrian shook his head his firelizard was a strange on no doubt about that, and he certainly liked his creature comforts “you know I’m going to move you when I come back” Terri stated turning Drey’s contentment to resentment “I love you too” the harper said as he strode off.

Terri didn’t pay much attention where he was walking, but his feet moved and he just went with it he liked the quiet stillness that seized the place at night the peace was an odd yet not unpleasant change than when the Weyr was full of hustle and bustle with everyone having on thing or another to do, and it was far better that the chaos that was threadfall aftermath, all those wounds all those dragons and humans in pain after that it was kinda hard to imagine the very same place could in fact be a tranquil thinking space.
His path led him to the lower caverns why he didn’t really know though he suspected it to be a subconscious need for a nice steaming mug of klah…he’d really like something stronger but he actually wanted to think tonight, he wanted a few new songs prepared for the feast to come down the line, he knew the time would fly and he needed to use it wisely.

Terrian headed passed the sitting room by and filled a mug with what remained of days sweet drink still reasonably on the warm side and double backed on his steps entering the sitting room with the intention of enjoying his drink, it actually took him a bit to notice there was a woman sitting in front of the hearth, he hadn't expected anyone to be here.

“oh I’m sorry Ma’am I didn’t mean to disturb…” his voice trailed off and if he hadn’t caught it, his cup of klah would have slipped from his grip and shattered on the floor. No it was impossible and yet it couldn’t be anyone else could it? if it was indeed 'her' she was older, world wise and weary he’d seen this woman “Jynx?… is that you? It is isn’t it?” as he spoke the words he felt a hard knot tighten in his stomach, his heart thudded in his chest, Terri’s mind franticly searched for words, and thoughts, he was almost certain of who this was now no other person could knock him, a harper, to tongue tied speechlessness. It’d been so long since he’d seen her last

"Jynx, Its me Terri." at last four intelligible words slid from his mouth, it was going to be majorly embarrassing if this woman only happened to look like his Jynx and he was wrong.
[align=center]Posted Image
"Cat and Cask can haz all the characterz!"
Shale Wingrider Tanlyn and Blue Enrakth
Granite Wingsecond R’ken and Bronze Zaxth
Sandstone Wingrider Jillia and Blue Galith
Grey Wherhandler Keera and Grey Keesk
Green Weyrling T'mer and Green Miralith
Dragon Candidate Belert
Marble Wingrider Ceylon and Black Friloth
Basalt Wingrider Kahlyn and Green Essnalith
Journeyman Beastcrafter Cortyn[/align]
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Skyrunner
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Dearly Departed
Evenings like this were hardest for the dragonless. Banned from the Infirmary for at least 8 candlemarks--presumably to sleep--but not wanting to be surrounded by the cold, dead stone of her quarters nor near any draconic creature gave her very few options. At least the fire gave the illusion of life and warmth. She stared into the flames, wishing she could lose herself in them.

Instead pain kept her rooted in the present. Subconsciously, she rubbed her left leg, able to feel the scarred and dented skin even through her pants. Not from her accident, not from Alsarith's death. No. That had caused a scar far deeper than the ones made by fire. Not even a flamethrower explosion could put warmth back into her blood, like a piece of her had been taken between never to return. Or maybe it rested in her chest. Medically impossible, of course, but, then again, Jiraela's specialty was bones, not ailments of the blood. Not that anyone dared to rip someone's chest open to see if the heart was more than just a muscle.

Like any muscle, it could constrict, like it did in Jiraela's chest as she watched the fire dance across the logs and coals. She forced herself to breathe, to banish the panic the crept its chill fingers down her spine. If she could say it had an origin, it would be the hole in her head, in her soul. Did a person even have a soul? It wasn't a physical part like a hand or eye, couldn't be measured or diagnosed... Jiraela put very little stock into the practices of mindhealers, but they talked about a person's soul like it was a limb and could be damaged. If Jiraela had one...

A voice from near the sitting room's entrance drew her vague attention, and she turned her head partially from the fire. It didn't sound like she'd have to give up her solitude, even when all she wanted was to fill the void in her, but the voice stopped mid-sentence. Jiraela thought nothing of it. Probably leaving, whomever it was. She turned back to the fire, loathe to leave when she wasn't even thawed.

"Jynx?"

Was that... Reactively, her shoulders flinched at the old nickname, one she hadn't heard in turns. She lifted her head and turned, fully this time, to see who had addressed her by her well-earned moniker. Who she saw took her back in time. Memories of her brief Candidacy, of a Harper who smiled at her and made her feel special... the happiness she had felt... Now she watched from another life, as if that happiness belonged to another.

"You've filled out," she said plainly, noticing that he had lost the teenage gawkiness he'd had the last she remembered of him. His hair was darker, fuller too, his face sharper, holding none of his boyhood softness. She wondered if he'd Impressed. He'd been a Candidate, after all. He hadn't while she'd been at Fort, no matter how brief a time that had been. Still, his presence pulled something from within her, something buried deep beneath endless mourning. "Still writing ballads for pretty girls?" Her voice had none of the personality he'd met because she wasn't that girl anymore. She hadn't been that girl for a very long time.

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She was different but it was definitely her Terrian's heart went out to her but inspite of that he found himself smiling at her so many turns had passed and there was so much he had wanted to say to Jynx, he gave himself a mental shake get it together he thought even as a blush crept into his face as she mentioned how he'd changed, he still felt like that scrawny kid who used to hang around her, even now he still couldn't believe how she'd ever given him the time of day.

His smile grew alittle bitter as he said "Nah there was only ever one pretty girl that i really wanted to sing to, now i just sing history, teaching ballads and the occasional ditty at any and every excuse the weyr has for a piss up for crabby old men" he laughed, moving to take a chair closer to the fire, as he did so he picked up one of the logs that stood on standby for kindling, throwing that into the fire, sending up sparks, and sending the light and harsh shadows dancing around the room.

Jiraela looked so old, like someone who'd had to grow up far too soon, the bright youthful energy and confidence that had seemed to flow from her was gone, her beauty had matured and had become more subdued though she was still pretty in Terrian's eyes she was obviously a shadow of who she used to be, not that he could blame her in the slightest, he'd been on the sands with her the day she'd impressed Alsarith, he'd been so over joyed for her Alsarith had excellent taste in his personal opinion, afterwards their time together had been shortened and when he'd heard about the accident...the horror that had flooded him was something he'd never forget, he'd felt horrible after aging out knowing he'd never form the lifebond he'd dreamt of, to lose that bond...

He'd gotten into so many fights afterwards, and nearly been thrown out of candidacy, since he lashed out at those who claimed that Jynx's bond wasn't that strong or important, and one particular candidate who said that if Alsarith picked him there wouldn't have been an accident that it'd had all been due to Jynx's carelessness, her irresponsibility...that she never should have been a rider. Terrian had gotten the stuffing kicked out of him, he'd never been a real fighter, one aspect he'd never really come to terms with in himself, the one consolation he'd had was that no dragon picked that guy either, clearly dragons 'did' know what they were doing.

"What of you?" Terri asked "How have you been doing all these turns Jynx? When did you come back?...i gotta say, its really good to finally see you again" he added, in fact he'd thought he'd never see her again, by the egg of Faranth he'd missed her.
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"Cat and Cask can haz all the characterz!"
Shale Wingrider Tanlyn and Blue Enrakth
Granite Wingsecond R’ken and Bronze Zaxth
Sandstone Wingrider Jillia and Blue Galith
Grey Wherhandler Keera and Grey Keesk
Green Weyrling T'mer and Green Miralith
Dragon Candidate Belert
Marble Wingrider Ceylon and Black Friloth
Basalt Wingrider Kahlyn and Green Essnalith
Journeyman Beastcrafter Cortyn[/align]
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Skyrunner
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Dearly Departed
Talking, interacting with people who knew her before her dragon's death were also some of the hardest times. It was a situation she hadn't faced in turns. Many, many turns. After she'd left to return to the Hall--really to get away from dragons and to receive the help she desperately needed to stay alive--she had successfully avoided and old friends, classmates, or fellow Healers. Running into one person here, especially someone like Terri, wasn't expected.

Had he seen her? After Alsarith's death? Had he visited her in the Infirmary when she'd been so close to willing herself into oblivion? Subconsciously, she covered her forearm with one of her hands, nevermind that her sleeve hid her skin, but she had to hide the long, slender scars. The physical signs of only one attempt on her own life. Had he seen her after that? For some reason, the answer to that mattered. She couldn't remember anything but the pain and darkness, the utter and complete loneliness and certainty that she would never feel whole again. Whatever happened during the first few sevendays was a blur of pleading, restraints, and sedation. She'd looked at her own chart, turns later, and wasn't surprised to see that most of her time those first days was spent heavily sedated.

No wonder she'd turned to fellis shortly thereafter.

Her smile at his song-writing was tense and unnatural. It didn't feel right on her face, but she had tried. It fell a moment later, as he sat and threw a log onto the fire. Her blank expression felt much more natural, truer to how she felt. Even after all these turns, it was tinged with sadness, and she longed to be the young woman he remembered. She hoped he hadn't seen her break...

"As well as can be expected," she offered, not wanting to lie to him but also not wanting to go into her multiple relapses and suspensions from practice. Besides. How did one catch up with a candidacy sweetheart after 20 turns of living between? Hers wasn't a pleasant story, and she had no desire to burden Terrian with it. "Been here two turns, but I keep mostly to the Infirmary. It started as a temporary assignment, but I just...haven't left." Haven't had the courage or energy to leave, really. It was so taxing to go through transfer procedures, and her rank required her a dragon rider to her new location. Of anything else, the latter was her main reason for not transferring to some remote Hold. That, and the Hall would never allow her to work beneath her station. That's what journeymen were for.

"How...how about you? Twenty turns is a long time. Did you ever Impress?" Which would mean he still rode his dragon, if he did. His eyes didn't have the vacant coldness she saw every time she looked in a mirror. Part of her wished him that joy, to know a dragon's bond. But only part. The rest would take solace in his remaining unattached. At least then he would never know this pain.

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Terrian had seen her only once after the incident but she'd been asleep most likely heavily drugged up with herbs and whatever other concoctions the healers had managed to stuff down her throat, even that brief visitation they'd tried to deny him trying to keep her calm and isolated while they gave her herbs, in a fit of rebellion and worry he'd sneaked down to see her one night, she'd seemed almost dead then. her face colourless in what little light he had to see her by. he hadn't actually known how long he sat there by her bedside, wishing that there was something he could do.

He knew he'd cried that night, more than he'd ever admit to, before he'd left her he kissed her. He knew it'd been foolish and ultimately had changed nothing, but it'd been what many heroes did in their tales, storm the keep with their noble dragon to save a beautiful lady to awaken her with a kiss and fly away together. unfortunately life seldom lived up to those tales so long ago since the first telling that none could know the truth of it. she hadn't woken, either his tales had been wrong or he'd been unworthy to be her hero.

that'd been the last time he'd been able to see her as the next time he snuck down she was gone. For sometime after he flatly refused to sing somehow feeling betrayed that the stories he'd been raised on his stories had somehow let him down.

That time of course had passed, in the here and now he smiled softly as Jynx answered his questions, she'd been here for two whole turns and he'd never known, but then again how could he he generally stayed out of there now, as she asked about if he ever impressed he shook his head sadly "no, no dragon ever thought me a good match for them, seemed my parents were right about that one thing" he confessed "got a fire lizard though, bought his egg at a gather, been a blue mennace ever since" he said taking a stab at humour and failing miserably

"You say you've 'just not left?' are you planning to leave again?" Terrian asked looking Jynx in the face the broken and shattered look within her eyes so different from the bright shining gaze he remembered beckoning him in youth into wild and crazy stunts, the utter despair and lack of hope stirred up the part of him that still felt like that little boy who wanted to be a hero, he wanted to take all her pain all that grief so she'd never feel it again, he wanted to protect her in all the ways he couldn't as a child, in the ways she had once defended him. Terri forced that side of himself down he was no child nor was he some kind of hero. he took a sip of his now nearly cold klah, it was probably just as well he'd long since lost interest and in it.
[align=center]Posted Image
"Cat and Cask can haz all the characterz!"
Shale Wingrider Tanlyn and Blue Enrakth
Granite Wingsecond R’ken and Bronze Zaxth
Sandstone Wingrider Jillia and Blue Galith
Grey Wherhandler Keera and Grey Keesk
Green Weyrling T'mer and Green Miralith
Dragon Candidate Belert
Marble Wingrider Ceylon and Black Friloth
Basalt Wingrider Kahlyn and Green Essnalith
Journeyman Beastcrafter Cortyn[/align]
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Skyrunner
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Dearly Departed
Some Healer lore said that people could and would remember things told to them while unconscious. There were protocols when dealing with those patients that included talking to them about what the Healer was doing, telling them things like, "we're going to put your neck in a brace," or "we're taking you to the Infirmary." Even something as simple as cutting a shirt to get access to a chest wound was explained in detail to someone who couldn't hear.

But patients, upon waking, often did remember those unconscious moments.

Too bad, then, that Jiraela had been drugged. Her first kiss and she would never know it. Well. Not her first but the first to matter. Had she been in love? Perhaps. She'd never been in love with a person before, only with her craft. Terrian had drawn something out in her. She had yelled at bullies for him, those who mocked his skinny, gawkish teenage frame and said he would never be strong enough for a rider's life. The protectiveness had been new for her, and she hadn't known what to say after that, but she kept getting Terrian into trouble with one stunt or another and he kept following her. And playing music for her. Did he still have that song he wrote back then? She hoped he never played it. Best not to reopen old wounds.

And yet that's what she was doing by continuing to sit here. Talking to an old flame after her ability to love had been stolen. She found herself sighing slightly, in relief, that Terrian had never Impressed. He wasn't at risk of losing half himself, then. For that, Jiraela was grateful. At least his humor was still the same, and she tried to give him a smile to let him know she'd caught the jest, but her smile was rusty and unused after 20 turns of neglect.

It fell a moment later, at the thought of leaving, and she couldn't hold his gaze. She turned to the fire instead, hoping the reflection of it in her eyes would give them some kind of life. Even now, 20 turns later, she didn't want to break his heart by showing how broken she was. "Not really," was probably not the answer he wanted, but it was the only one she could give. Subconsciously she traced the thin lines running the length of her forearm. When she realized she was doing it, a few moments later, she pulled her sleeve down and forced her hands still. "It's a hassle, anyway, for a master to transfer. The Hall only moves us if they have to."

Was she going to die? That was the question she didn't want to answer. To admit to him that she thought about death regularly but didn't have the courage to try again... And so she lived on without truly living. Her life stolen by happenstance and her own pride.

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