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ELUSIVE JIM'S PROBLEM PAGE; Got a problem? - Let Jim Fix It
Topic Started: Jan 21 2008, 12:16 PM (14,667 Views)
AndyW76
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stradlin23,Mar 10 2008
09:23 AM
Shadow Stu-E,Mar 10 2008
04:44 AM
Dear Jim,
I hope you can help me with this, it's a rather large, rather serious problem. This girl and I were engaged not so long ago, and she has broken up with me. I was told she still loves me and cares for me, but I was also told that she doesn't know whether she wants me alive or dead. Also I was suicidal one night, and said how I felt and I have recently found out that she actually wanted me to kill myself, contradictory to what I was told that night. I Love this girl very dearly and I have trouble going a day without her in my life, but I am in so much pain over it. Is there any way you can help as I feel like I'm going down every day. I get more and more depressed and my thoughts are starting to become suicidal.
Please Help.
Many thanks.
Stu-E

You’ve got to keep your chin up mate

I’ve had to do the same, I’ve prepared myself for what is to come and are focusing on the positive things I have

If you dwell on the negatives you’ll just send yourself round the bend

Keeping myself busy has helped keep my mind off things and of course having some good friends has helped, although, ultimately the only person that can help you the most is yourself

I’ve been shit on by the person I loved the most but is it worth ruining your life because of it? No

Well said. That is the best thing to do and it's what got me through my break up.

Shadow Stu-E,

Suicide is the last thing you should do. I'm ashamed to say that I considered it, but, believe me, she's not worth it and you end up hurting the people who really love you, your family. I certainly didn't get any sympathy from her when she found out about me considering suicide (though it was long after the event). All she said was that she didn't want my death on her concience (BTW it wasn't me that told her, she found out through a 3rd party). I can only tell you what worked for me and that is to turn to your friends and try to have a bit of fun. Also, if you have a strong relationship with your family, they will always be there for you.
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ELUSIVEJIM
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Shadow Stu-E,Mar 10 2008
04:44 AM
Dear Jim,
I hope you can help me with this, it's a rather large, rather serious problem. This girl and I were engaged not so long ago, and she has broken up with me. I was told she still loves me and cares for me, but I was also told that she doesn't know whether she wants me alive or dead. Also I was suicidal one night, and said how I felt and I have recently found out that she actually wanted me to kill myself, contradictory to what I was told that night. I Love this girl very dearly and I have trouble going a day without her in my life, but I am in so much pain over it. Is there any way you can help as I feel like I'm going down every day. I get more and more depressed and my thoughts are starting to become suicidal.
Please Help.
Many thanks.
Stu-E

It really does hurt alot the love business.

Mate we all go through these things during our lives and it really does hurt like hell as nothing anyone can say or do will help how you are feeling but it does get better mate.

I know its feels really bad for you at the moment but you will be able to move on from this but it just needs time.

If this girl does not care if your are alive or dead i would distance myself from her as its not what ANYONE should be told in any situation.

Talk to your friends and family about it as i have in the past and you will be amazed at how many people will relate to you and how you re feeling.

Please take care mate and arrange to have your mates or family around you but you WILL get over this whatever you may think at this point
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mindcutie
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Shadow Stu-E,Mar 10 2008
07:44 AM
Dear Jim,
I hope you can help me with this, it's a rather large, rather serious problem. This girl and I were engaged not so long ago, and she has broken up with me. I was told she still loves me and cares for me, but I was also told that she doesn't know whether she wants me alive or dead. Also I was suicidal one night, and said how I felt and I have recently found out that she actually wanted me to kill myself, contradictory to what I was told that night. I Love this girl very dearly and I have trouble going a day without her in my life, but I am in so much pain over it. Is there any way you can help as I feel like I'm going down every day. I get more and more depressed and my thoughts are starting to become suicidal.
Please Help.
Many thanks.
Stu-E

<hug> sorry to hear that stu

I still don´t have a clue what that " I love you but don´t care if you are dead or alive" means, that sounds a bit odd <think>

I am very suicidal person myself but would never do it for someone who did not care for me or to do it for someone. So don´t even think about it.

The feeling will go away and you will meet someone who does care for you :)

It just takes time to get over it but hang in there <hug>
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Norbert
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Dear Jim,

some weird person keeps trying to join the board. Everyone knows who they really are, but they keep pretending they aren't really this person.

Is it us that needs help, or them?

<dunce>

Norbs
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AndyW76
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Norbert,Mar 10 2008
04:40 PM
Dear Jim,

some weird person keeps trying to join the board. Everyone knows who they really are, but they keep pretending they aren't really this person.

Is it us that needs help, or them?

<dunce>

Norbs

<think>

There are 2 schools of thought on this issue. The first is that he is a WUM and is only trying to get on this board out of a deep-seated grudge against the members of the board.

The other is that I heard that he fancied the member of this board who goes by the name Norbert and is trying to get on here to express his undying love for him. ;) <roflmao>
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willyshafter
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Norbert,Mar 10 2008
04:40 PM
Dear Jim,

some weird person keeps trying to join the board. Everyone knows who they really are, but they keep pretending they aren't really this person.

Is it us that needs help, or them?

<dunce>

Norbs

The said person who has manifested himself under yet another thin shroud of bollox has a distinct liking for John, maybe this is the only way he can make contact.

No offence John
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Norbert
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Ah, so that's where 'Dear John' letters come from.....

<roflmao>
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Shadow Stu-E
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Thank you all. :)
it's really great to have friends like you guys. <hug>

i have spoken to the ex. A plan has been worked out.. it sounds sketchy even to me, but i am willing to give her one more chance as i love her so much. we will get together if i move there. we are staying single until then. i plan to save for a year and move there. she says she will break up with any guy if she is with one, when i get there.. it sounds sketchy, but ive informed her this is her last chance as she still loves me and still loves me. the not caring about me being alive or dead... said while in a bad mood.. i know its no excuse but it explains a lot..

ive given her her last chance.
from what i have said, would you have given her a chance?
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AndyW76
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Shadow Stu-E,Mar 11 2008
09:45 AM
Thank you all. :)
it's really great to have friends like you guys. <hug>

i have spoken to the ex. A plan has been worked out.. it sounds sketchy even to me, but i am willing to give her one more chance as i love her so much. we will get together if i move there. we are staying single until then. i plan to save for a year and move there. she says she will break up with any guy if she is with one, when i get there.. it sounds sketchy, but ive informed her this is her last chance as she still loves me and still loves me. the not caring about me being alive or dead... said while in a bad mood.. i know its no excuse but it explains a lot..

ive given her her last chance.
from what i have said, would you have given her a chance?

I'm not sure what I'd do. It sounds like a confusing situaton. If you feel strong enough to give it another chance, then go for it. Just stay strong and be prepared for anything. The last thing you want is for you to make a huge sacrefice and end up brokenhearted.

From what you have said, this woman has broken your heart more than once and that is something that, personally, I couldn't forgive. May be you are a better person than I am, but my philosophy is "once bitten, twice shy". The key is for you to run the relationship on your terms and do not tolerate any "monkey business". If she hasn't learned after this, then she'll never learn. No-one deserves to have their feeling messed arround with.
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ELUSIVEJIM
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Shadow Stu-E,Mar 11 2008
09:45 AM
Thank you all. :)
it's really great to have friends like you guys. <hug>

i have spoken to the ex. A plan has been worked out.. it sounds sketchy even to me, but i am willing to give her one more chance as i love her so much. we will get together if i move there. we are staying single until then. i plan to save for a year and move there. she says she will break up with any guy if she is with one, when i get there.. it sounds sketchy, but ive informed her this is her last chance as she still loves me and still loves me. the not caring about me being alive or dead... said while in a bad mood.. i know its no excuse but it explains a lot..

ive given her her last chance.
from what i have said, would you have given her a chance?

To me mate i have to be honest and say walk away but i am sure you know this yourself deep down.

She is playing with your mind mate and you will only get worse and more upset.

I am sorry but i do not feel she is a very nice person.

If she knows that you were thinking about taking your life surely this would have sank into her and she would have not continued to mess you about.

Why would she see someone else then finish it once you turned up????

If you love someone you do not see anyone else if there is a chance.

Mate i am sorry but you really need to distance yourself from your ex and live your life the way you should.

Just remember when you were at school.

I bet you had a few girlfriends and some finished it.

At the time you think i can not move on but you do and you met your now ex.

You will move on again mate but please take care and think about yourself as your ex is not.

Sorry to be so blunt but i needed this a few years back and i am alot happier now <thumbsup>
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AndyW76
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Put like that, Jim, I guess you could be right. I just based my advice on the fact that I don't 100% know the situation or people involved and gave the benefit of the doubt. The more I think about it, the more I actually agree with you. This girl sounds like she messes with people's heads. Also, yeah, why should she be allowed to see someone else when Shadow Stu-E is waiting to be with her. If the situation was reversed, I bet she wouldn't be anywhere near as charitable.

When I broke up with my Ex, I was still in love with her for quite a while and couldn't accept that it was over. During that time she took advantage, using my good nature to weasle favours out of me. It was only when I realised what a cynical bitch she was that I saw sense.

Shadow Stu-E, don't let your lingering feelings fool you. You only end up playing the mug and end up even more hurt. Sorry about my previous advice, I was trying to see things on the bright sde and sometimes that isn't always the best way and can leave you vunerable.
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ELUSIVEJIM
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AndyW76,Mar 11 2008
11:37 AM
Put like that, Jim, I guess you could be right. I just based my advice on the fact that I don't 100% know the situation or people involved and gave the benefit of the doubt. The more I think about it, the more I actually agree with you. This girl sounds like she messes with people's heads. Also, yeah, why should she be allowed to see someone else when Shadow Stu-E is waiting to be with her. If the situation was reversed, I bet she wouldn't be anywhere near as charitable.

When I broke up with my Ex, I was still in love with her for quite a while and couldn't accept that it was over. During that time she took advantage, using my good nature to weasle favours out of me. It was only when I realised what a cynical bitch she was that I saw sense.

Shadow Stu-E, don't let your lingering feelings fool you. You only end up playing the mug and end up even more hurt. Sorry about my previous advice, I was trying to see things on the bright sde and sometimes that isn't always the best way and can leave you vunerable.

Yer mate i have tended to be like you and try and see the best in people but when it gets to a stage you know yourself its over but you do not want to admit it.

Admitting this is the hardest part for anyone but in the end it gets very messy and you get VERY messed up.

Been there not doing it again.

Well................. <dunce>
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AndyW76
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ELUSIVEJIM,Mar 11 2008
12:17 PM
AndyW76,Mar 11 2008
11:37 AM
Put like that, Jim, I guess you could be right. I just based my advice on the fact that I don't 100% know the situation or people involved and gave the benefit of the doubt. The more I think about it, the more I actually agree with you. This girl sounds like she messes with people's heads. Also, yeah, why should she be allowed to see someone else when Shadow Stu-E is waiting to be with her. If the situation was reversed, I bet she wouldn't be anywhere near as charitable.

When I broke up with my Ex, I was still in love with her for quite a while and couldn't accept that it was over. During that time she took advantage, using my good nature to weasle favours out of me. It was only when I realised what a cynical bitch she was that I saw sense.

Shadow Stu-E, don't let your lingering feelings fool you. You only end up playing the mug and end up even more hurt. Sorry about my previous advice, I was trying to see things on the bright sde and sometimes that isn't always the best way and can leave you vunerable.

Yer mate i have tended to be like you and try and see the best in people but when it gets to a stage you know yourself its over but you do not want to admit it.

Admitting this is the hardest part for anyone but in the end it gets very messy and you get VERY messed up.

Been there not doing it again.

Well................. <dunce>

Well, my break up of last year was my first, so I guess I haven't have all of the naivety kicked out of me yet.
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Lord Tau
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People say "it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all". But judging my what I've read here, I'm not so sure that is the case.
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Lord Tau,Mar 11 2008
12:44 PM
People say "it's better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all". But judging my what I've read here, I'm not so sure that is the case.

Oh, no, I'm glad I had a relationship. It made my life very happy for 7 years, but how it ended meant that there was no way that I could have her back.
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