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| St. Patty's Day is upon us! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 16 2018, 04:06 AM (147 Views) | |
| Mikhailoh | Mar 16 2018, 04:06 AM Post #1 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Let the memes flow!
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 03:49 AM Post #2 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Paddy goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one Guinness. The barman lines up shots and goes to get the Guinness. When he comes back with the pint, all seven shots are gone. The barman says: “Wow! You sure drank those fast.” Paddy explains: "You would drink fast too if you had what I have.” The barman asks: “What do you have?” The guy reaches into his pocket and says: “Fifty cents!” |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 03:50 AM Post #3 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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There once was a fellow O’Doole Who found little red spots on his tool His Doctor a cynic said Get out of me clinic, And wipe off that lipstick you fool..!! |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 03:51 AM Post #4 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' replied the old man. 'Poor old fool' thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub. Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, And how many have you caught?' 'You're the eighth.' |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 03:52 AM Post #5 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Paddy took his son out for his first pint. Off they went to their local pub only two blocks from their house. Paddy got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so he drank it himself. Next Paddy got him a Kilkenny, he didn't like that either, so Paddy drank that too. Finally, he thought he might like some Harp Lager? His son spat it out. So Paddy drank it. Then Paddy tought hmmm, maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer - so we tried a Jameson's! Nope! In desperation, Paddy asked the barman for some rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest. He wouldn't even smell it. What could Paddy do but drink it! By the time he realized that his son just didn't like the drink, he was so fechin' drunk he could hardly push his stroller back home. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 03:53 AM Post #6 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Three Irishmen; Paddy, Sean and Seamus left the pub late one night and found themselves on the road a road which led them past the local Graveyard. "Come over and have a look and this" says Paddy. "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul! He lived to the ripe old age of 87. Good blood, those O'Gradys!". "That's nothing," says Sean. "Here's one named Patrick O'Toole and it says here that he was 95 when he died. Aye, those O'Tooles are a hardy bunch, they are!". Just then, Seamus yells out, "Forget him, here's a fella that lived to be 145 years old!" "What was his name?" asked Paddy and Sean. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles...". "Miles who?" asked Paddy and Sean "To Dublin" |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 03:54 AM Post #7 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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PADDY Murphy was staggering home drunk from the pub with a small bottle of Irish whiskey in his back pocket when he slipped and had a bad fall. As he struggled back to his feet he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please God" he cried, "Let it be blood!" Paddy opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly called his best friend Sean. "Did you see in the paper" asked Paddy "they say that I died." "Yes I did" said Sean "Where are ye ringing from?" |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| George K | Mar 17 2018, 03:57 AM Post #8 |
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Finally
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I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the grass, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?" Again, the answer was "NO!" "If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?" Again, they all answered, "NO!" I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?" A little boy shouted out, "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD." |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 04:11 AM Post #9 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 04:16 AM Post #10 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 17 2018, 04:17 AM Post #11 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Larry | Mar 17 2018, 06:40 AM Post #12 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. He says: "Have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!" |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Mar 17 2018, 06:41 AM Post #13 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. "Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday." Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: "Never mind, I found one!" |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Mar 17 2018, 06:43 AM Post #14 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy has a bag of doughnuts in his hand. Paddy says to Mick: "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both." |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Mar 17 2018, 06:44 AM Post #15 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Two Irishmen were working in the public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. After a while, one amazed onlooker said: "Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick." |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Mar 17 2018, 06:46 AM Post #16 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin..... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Copper | Mar 17 2018, 06:47 AM Post #17 |
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Shortstop
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Happy St. Patrick's Day. I have marched many times in the parade in Southie (South Boston) everyone along the parade route has a 6-pack, everyone. I marched in NYC in 1969, the line down the middle of 5th Ave was painted green. I watched the parade in Chicago in 1978, of course they dyed the river green, beautiful! |
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The Confederate soldier was peculiar in that he was ever ready to fight, but never ready to submit to the routine duty and discipline of the camp or the march. The soldiers were determined to be soldiers after their own notions, and do their duty, for the love of it, as they thought best. Carlton McCarthy | |
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| George K | Mar 18 2018, 02:32 AM Post #18 |
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Finally
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Irishman's First Drink With His Son While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so I tried a Tullamore Dew. Nope! In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest. He wouldn't even smell it. What could I do but drink it? By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so freakin' ****-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home! |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 18 2018, 04:15 AM Post #19 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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That's funny, George. Clicky |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| George K | Mar 18 2018, 04:24 AM Post #20 |
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Finally
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 18 2018, 04:38 AM Post #21 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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You could have just said tl;dr.
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Davis | Mar 18 2018, 04:51 AM Post #22 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Have mercy on us that had to read it twice. |
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| Larry | Mar 18 2018, 05:43 AM Post #23 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Have mercy on those of us who read it twice and thought it was the first time we'd heard it both times.... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| George K | Mar 18 2018, 03:45 PM Post #24 |
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Finally
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_sbIQvLT44&ab_channel=NewsCapital |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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