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You put *what* into *where*?
Topic Started: Dec 28 2017, 04:12 AM (78 Views)
George K
Member Avatar
Finally
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
Quote:
 
If it’s Christmas, it must be time to learn what America shoved inside itself. The only worthwhile holiday tradition pushes on.

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, and they are occasionally not for the faint of spirit. If I may offer one universally good piece of advice, it would be to make sure the base is flared.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear

BOBBY PIN
SMALL RED TOY
“WAS RUNNING WITH A STICK IN EAR; FELL STRIKING WALL”
BREAD
BATTERY
“FELL ASLEEP WITH A PENCIL POKED IN HIS RIGHT EAR, PENCIL LEAD IN EAR CANAL”
BROOM STRAW
SLIM METAL ROD
“STUFFED PAPER TOWEL IN EARS TO ACT AS EAR PLUGS BECAUSE ROOMMATE WAS SNORING, UNABLE TO GET IT OUT OF EAR”
PUTTY
A BEAN
“GASOLINE IN LEFT EAR WHILE CHANGING FUEL FILTER”
PENCIL SHAVINGS
STEM OF A PLASTIC FLOWER
RAIN WATER
TWO STICKERS STUCK TOGETHER
“GOOGLY EYE INSIDE HIS RIGHT EAR, AND ANOTHER THROUGH NOSE”


Nose

CANDY WRAPPER
FUZZY ARTS AND CRAFTS BALL
“SHOVED PLASTIC TOY UP IN BOTH NOSTRILS”
GUM
PINK BALLOON
WAD OF HAIR
“HOLDING A BOX OF JUICY JUICE AND THE STRAW WENT UP NOSTRIL”
HEART-SHAPED NECKLACE PENDANT
“PLAYING WITH A DIME ABOVE HEAD AND LOOKED UP WITH COIN FALLING INTO NOSE”
“STUCK HAIRPIN INTO NOSTRIL TRYING TO CLEAR BLOOD CLOT FROM NOSEBLEED”
FISHTANK GRAVEL
FISHING LURE
BABY BOTTLE NIPPLE
ONE MAGNET IN EACH NOSTRIL


A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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taiwan_girl
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Fulla-Carp
Some funny things there.

Quote:
 
“WAS RUNNING WITH A STICK IN EAR; FELL STRIKING WALL”

“FELL ASLEEP WITH A PENCIL POKED IN HIS RIGHT EAR, PENCIL LEAD IN EAR CANAL”


Hmmm. Assume it was a kid??? (at least I hope)?????

Quote:
 
“GASOLINE IN LEFT EAR WHILE CHANGING FUEL FILTER”

I don't know how to change a fuel filter, but I guess this is possible. Good thing he did not try to clear it out with a match!!!!

Quote:
 
“PLAYING WITH A DIME ABOVE HEAD AND LOOKED UP WITH COIN FALLING INTO NOSE”

Must have a pretty big nose!!!

Quote:
 
FISHTANK GRAVEL
FISHING LURE

Maybe these go together!! LOL
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jon-nyc
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Cheers
Quote:
 
WAS DRINKING WITH FRIENDS AND ‘GOT TO EXPERIMENTING,’ AIR FRESHENER CONTAINER STUCK IN ANUS



Hate when that happens.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
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Klaus
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HOLY CARP!!!
COAXIAL CABLE in penis? I’m a bit disappointed they didn’t specify whether it was merely an RG58 cable or something bigger like RG213.
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
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George K
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Finally
"Doc, I fell on it" is something that I heard more than one time during my career.

Nothing, however, beats the electrical conduit on the penis.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
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