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Al-Qaeda Tells 9/11 Truthers to STFU; from Cracked.com
Topic Started: Oct 12 2017, 12:49 PM (42 Views)
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Senior Carp
For a while now, Iran has had a problem with some of its leaders being conspiracy-spouting dickheads. Top of the heap was former President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who couldn't utter a sentence without insulting America, Jews, or the sanity of his own people for electing him. But his biggest diss came when he went in front of the UN to screech that the 9/11 attacks weren't caused by Al-Qaeda, but by George W Bush himself. Why? The usual internet forum stuff about causing a calamity "reverse the declining American economy, and its grips on the Middle East, in order to save the Zionist regime." Fortunately, Ahmadinejad's mic was cut before he could bring out his PowerPoint on the melting point of steel beams.

After his speech, the U.S. was naturally furious and denounced it immediately. But someone else wasn't going take this **** lying down: Al-Qaeda. In an editorial in their English-language magazine Inspire (which sounds like it also has a great Who Wore It Best? section), Al-Qaeda laid into Ahmadinejad and Iran with all the vigor of a diss track. Instead of calling the Iranian regime delusional, they called them jealous. That's right, while those Iranian lollygaggers were spouting their bullshit, Al-Qaeda actually attacked "the Great Satan," touching "the hearts and minds of disenfranchised Muslims around the world" in a way that Iran could only dream of. So while most of the world was denouncing Iran, Al Qaeda was calling them out as weak-ass posers who either need to launch a missile or shut up. What a weird line to straddle.

From the article "6 Conspiracy Theorists Who Got Owned In Hilarious Ways"
"If you don't risk anything, you risk even more." -- Erica Jong
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