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So......
Topic Started: Aug 11 2016, 08:06 PM (36,421 Views)
Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So.....


I christened my house "Moderation"...


So now I can pretty much do anything I want to in here....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So my wife and I put a bar in the basement.






Next week we're going to look at stool samples.......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So....

this cute sexy young lady told me a while ago that I had beautiful eyes..




well.. she said they were pretty...









okay, she said "Healthy and no change since your last visit......"
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Four million of these people enter our country every year. They are uneducated, unskilled, and contribute nothing. They are a burden to honest, hardworking Americans and our government is doing nothing to stop them, not to mention they're dirty and they smell bad. THEY DON'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH!!








Man, I can't stand babies..........
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So...


my wife is going to a costume party as a Rastafarian and she wants me to do her hair...




I'm dreading it......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So...


ever see a guy who was so bald his neck looked like it was blowing a bubble?
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I was going to buy a book on hair loss but the pages kept falling out....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I'm at the gym.... some asshole left his water bottle in the Pringles holder.....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So...

I have a polish friend who is a sound technician.


And a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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George K
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Finally
So...


I went to the urologist the other day. During the exam, he said, "Don't be alarmed! It's not unusual to get an erection during this part of the exam."

I said, "But doc, I don't have an erection."

"Yeah, but I do." :hair:
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I watched a documentary the other day on marijuana.


I think all documentaries should be watched this way......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
When I was in college my chemistry professor made me write a 1,000 word essay on acid.



Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So....

a friend of mine asked me "Are you getting any on the side?"



I said "hell.... you mean they moved it??????"
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Diet: A selection of food for people who are thick and tired of it....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
MEMO TO THE MODERATOR:

Can you please try to have a little more control over who you let in? There is a new member, an elderly woman, and she has been sending me private messages. She sends naked pictures of herself in grotesque poses along with closeups of her hoohah. She is offering a Samsung Galaxy S8 in exchange for sexual favors.

I am especially upset because as it turns out, the phone wasn't even a Galaxy S8... it was a Galaxy S5, and it obviously had a virus because it's really slow. Also, the caps lock button sticks.....


Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired.

“They say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'” the woman said embarrassingly.

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, “I can see why you are embarrassed.”

He thought a minute and then said, “You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I’m sure your parrots will stop saying that… that phrase in no time.”

“Thank you,” the lady responded, “this may very well be the solution.”
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, clutching their rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”

There was a stunned silence.

Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.



Well, what he actually said was "Eat less McDonalds", but I'm sure I know what he meant...
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I'm determined to count backwards all the way from a million.


I'll stop at nothing.....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So....

I asked my secretary... "If I gave you $25,000 minus 15%, how much would you take off?"

She said......"Everything but my ear rings......"
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I really love playing chess with old people in the park.


The only problem with it is finding 32 of them willing to do it......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I used to be a member of a secret cooking society.






They kicked me out for spilling the beans.....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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George K
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Finally
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.

The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replied...."Divorce attorney."
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So.....


Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier if my wardrobe wasn't so FAB U LOUS!!!
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
So...

I didn't know this, but there are more catholic churches in Las Vegas than there are casinos.

A lot of people tithe using casino chips. Since each casino has its own style of chips, this presented a problem. But they finally figured out a solution. The churches send their casino chips to a local Fransiscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This is done by the Chip Monks......
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey." The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey." Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Whiskey," and the robot brings him his whiskey. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says,




"SO, you people still pissed off that Hillary lost the election?
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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