Today I saw....

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Today I saw....
Tweet Topic Started: Feb 4 2016, 08:47 PM (313 Views)
Larry	Feb 4 2016, 08:47 PM Post #1
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	some moron put a bottle of water in the little holder on a treadmill where the Pringles can goes!!! Sheesh...
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 4 2016, 08:50 PM Post #2
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	I've been seeing this girl for about the last 3 months.. Well tonight she caught me and closed the blinds.. Bitch....
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 4 2016, 08:51 PM Post #3
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	Somebody please help me with my daily sex!!! Damn.... my dyslexia is getting way out of control again.
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 4 2016, 08:54 PM Post #4
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	News Announcement: Dan Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word 'Washington' imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 4 2016, 08:56 PM Post #5
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	I had sex almost every night this week....... I almost had it on Monday, I almost had it on Tuesday......
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Catseye	Feb 5 2016, 01:01 AM Post #6
Pisa-Carp Posts: 5,135 Group: Members Member #1,390 Joined: March 5, 2015	Quote: Not to worry, we're watching here in Minnesoooooooota. Q. What does a Minnesooooota Vikings fan do when his team has won a Superbowl? A. He turns off his PlayStation 3. Edited by Catseye, Feb 5 2016, 01:14 AM.
	"How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex


Catseye	Feb 5 2016, 01:02 AM Post #7
Pisa-Carp Posts: 5,135 Group: Members Member #1,390 Joined: March 5, 2015	Q. What do the Atlanta Falcons and possums have in common? A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
	"How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex


Catseye	Feb 5 2016, 06:32 AM Post #8
Pisa-Carp Posts: 5,135 Group: Members Member #1,390 Joined: March 5, 2015	Q: How do you know the Louisiana State Police are seriously enforcing the speed limits into New Orleans? A: For the first offense, they give you two Saints tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them. (Seeing Jolly approach with thunder in his eye]
	"How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex


brenda	Feb 5 2016, 07:04 AM Post #9
.............. Posts: 37,054 Group: Members Member #721 Joined: August 28, 2008	LOL
	�Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.� ~A.A. Milne


Larry	Feb 5 2016, 09:56 AM Post #10
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	My wife complained that I treat her like a child... I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just gave her a gold star and a smiley sticker..
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 5 2016, 09:58 AM Post #11
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	I asked her why she watches the cooking channel when she can't cook. She asked me why I watch porn..... (ok, it's only a joke...... she can cook just fine, and I don't watch porn.... lol )
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


jon-nyc	Feb 6 2016, 10:12 AM Post #12
Cheers Posts: 54,428 Group: Moderators Member #119 Joined: April 22, 2005	If they put box tops on wine boxes my school would have a heliport by now.
	In my defense, I was left unsupervised.


Larry	Feb 6 2016, 07:37 PM Post #13
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	Tonight I got out of the shower and walked into the bedroom naked. My wife looked up and a look of horror spread across her face... then she said... "Oh sh!t - I forgot to buy cocktail weenies for the party tomorrow!"
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 6 2016, 07:39 PM Post #14
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	Last night I woke her up in the middle of the night and said... "Psssst.... the Force is awakening..." She said... "Not tonight, Hand Solo..."
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Catseye	Feb 6 2016, 08:53 PM Post #15
Pisa-Carp Posts: 5,135 Group: Members Member #1,390 Joined: March 5, 2015	A man calls 911 emergency: "Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It's okay, I found another one."
	"How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex


Catseye	Feb 6 2016, 08:59 PM Post #16
Pisa-Carp Posts: 5,135 Group: Members Member #1,390 Joined: March 5, 2015	What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that thing?"
	"How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex


Larry	Feb 7 2016, 04:52 PM Post #17
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	I picked up a redneck who was hitch hiking today.. He looked in the ashtray and said "What are those things?" I said "They're tees." He said "What are they for?" I said "They hold my balls while I drive." He said...."Damn - those Lincoln guys think of everything, don't they?"
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 8 2016, 08:15 AM Post #18
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	Last night my wife was in bed gasping for air and calling my name.... I guess I didn't hold the pillow down long enough...
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


Larry	Feb 8 2016, 08:20 AM Post #19
Mmmmmmm, pie! Posts: 47,996 Group: Members Member #113 Joined: April 22, 2005	Wife: You drink too many soft drinks. Me: Meh.. Wife: How many do you drink a day? Me: 2 Wife: How much do they cost each? Me: A dollar Wife:How many years have you been drinking them? Me: 50 Wife. That's 730 a year. At a dollar each, that's 730 dollars a year. Multiply that by 50, calculate the interest that money would have earned, and you could have bought a Ferrari! Me: Do you drink soft drinks? Wife: No. Me: Where's your Ferrari?
	Of the Pokatwat Tribe


jon-nyc	Feb 8 2016, 04:57 PM Post #20
Cheers Posts: 54,428 Group: Moderators Member #119 Joined: April 22, 2005	Right before I die I'm going to swallow a whole bag of popcorn kernels. That should make the cremation pretty interesting.
	In my defense, I was left unsupervised.


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