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So..................
Topic Started: Jul 17 2015, 06:50 PM (98 Views)
The Silver Tongued Devil
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Junior Carp
So I made a racist joke at a party. Most of them laughed but one guy said:

"I don't know how you can be so small minded. I work with African-Americans and ethnic minorities all day."

It didn't go well when I asked him if he was a police officer.....
Never play poker with a man named Ace.
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The Silver Tongued Devil
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Junior Carp
Speaking of pOlice...


Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?





They each got 6 months....
Never play poker with a man named Ace.
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
...and that's when the fight started.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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The Silver Tongued Devil
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Junior Carp
So Al Sharpton was in Sears. He was there to protest the fact that most all of the washing machines were white.

So the clerk called the store manager, who asked, "What's the problem here, Reverend?"

Sharpton pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that most of them were white.

The manager replied, "Well, Reverend, it's true that most of the washing machines are white, but if you'll open the lids you'll see that all the agitators are black."
Never play poker with a man named Ace.
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The Silver Tongued Devil
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Junior Carp
I was recently robbed by a large ceramic cup.

The police were able to make an arrest after I identified it from the mug shots.
Never play poker with a man named Ace.
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Tonto Goldstein
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Advanced Member
My wife calls me a "5 times a night man"!





But I've always had a weak bladder.....
Sock License # 113

Old Indian saying:
How smooth must be the language of the white man, when they can make right look like wrong, and wrong look like right.
~ Black Hawk
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Guido
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Advanced Member
I just gota fired froma my job ata da Psychic Hotline.






Didn'ta see thata one coming....
Thanka you, thanka you.
Father Guido Sarducci
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Guido
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Advanced Member
I offereda to helpa my wife witha the gardening.

She saida if I wanteda to help, I woulda needa to get a hoe.

I broughta one home anda she immediately kicked her offa the property.

There isa simply no pleasing thata woman.
Thanka you, thanka you.
Father Guido Sarducci
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The Silver Tongued Devil
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Junior Carp
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about the hair.

Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your Monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair."

The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her older sister, "My monkey has grown hair."

Her sister smiled and said, "That’s nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
Never play poker with a man named Ace.
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The Silver Tongued Devil
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Junior Carp
I was just given a sentence for my part in a timeshare fraud.

I have to go to prison for two weeks every year for 10 years.
Never play poker with a man named Ace.
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Claude Ball
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Middle Aged Carp
Do fish get high off of seaweed?.......
Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
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