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| Well, that was fun. An HOA horror.; it better damned well be over though. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 20 2015, 09:51 PM (690 Views) | |
| Horace | May 20 2015, 09:51 PM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Yesterday upon returning home from work, I opened my HOA bill, which is usually $65/month, to find that it totaled .... 2900 dollars. The itemization of the bill listed $65 each for the past two months, and an 1100 dollar fine for one month and a 1700 dollar fine for the next month. For having a trash receptacle within potential view of neighbors. They were $50/day. I had indeed seen warnings, always in snail mail, from my HOA about this. But I didn't have a trash receptacle outside of my garage, so I just ignored. them. I really can't be bothered to correct idiocy, I just don't care enough to. But a 2800 dollar fine does attract my attention and I did care at that moment. There's this pretty cool website called nextdoor.com. A coworker's friend co-founded it. It's a social networking site dedicated to connecting people who live in the same communities. I never had a use for it, but I've been signed up there for a while. So I had a use for it last night. I broadcasted to a hundred or so of my fellow HOA members what just happened. I was not kind to the HOA. I received nothing but positive responses. And this morning I called the HOA. I wasn't kind that time either. I have to admit that righteous indignation inflicted on another human being is pretty intoxicating. I felt different the whole rest of the day. Aqua probably knows this feeling pretty well. Most of you probably do. I think I actually was talking to the person who's job it is, to drive through my neighborhood and jot down any little bureaucratic infraction they see. I had no idea who it might be, but I used the pronoun "he" when referring to this mythical entity, and the woman I was talking to was quick to correct me that it was a she. At some point I asked her if this woman was senile (given that she confused a grill with a large waste bin). She took personal offense immediately, and told me that she would not continue the conversation if I was going to be that way. I think it was probably her. She told me that I could have the fines removed if I sent an email to her which included two things: a picture of the part of my driveway behind my house that used to contain the offending item (BBQ or trash receptacle depending on whether you took the red or blue pill), along with a MAGIC PHRASE, worthy of some medieval mystics. I kid you not, the email had to include the phrase "I wish the fines to be removed", or the fines would not be removed! A more mindless bureaucracy I have never personally seen. It was stunning. I sent the email, and included the phrases "I want confirmation of receipt" and "I want confirmation that the fines have been removed". I never heard back. I'm not sure if those extra phrases negated the magic of the one I was told to provide. The HOA may be checking the chicken entrails for answers as we speak. |
| As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good? | |
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| jon-nyc | May 20 2015, 09:55 PM Post #2 |
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Cheers
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jesus. |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| Larry | May 20 2015, 10:06 PM Post #3 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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When I lived in Atlanta I had two houses - one in the suburbs, and one near my store in the city. When traffic was so bad that the trip to the suburbs was going to take too long, we'd stay at the house in town. Without going into the full details of it, one old woman who lived on the same street had nothing better to do with her time than to snoop around the neighborhood and complain. Apparently, she got bent all out of shape because she thought she spotted a tomato plant growing in one of the flower beds in the back yard. (There were no tomato plants)... After a couple of weeks of not being in the house, we got there one night to find a note stuck to our front door telling us we were being fined 100 dollars per day for "running a farming operation within the city limits".... After making sounds that could probably be heard all the way down Peachtree Street, they backed off. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Friday | May 20 2015, 10:23 PM Post #4 |
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Senior Carp
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Even if you did have one tomato plant, would that have been against the law? |
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| Larry | May 20 2015, 10:27 PM Post #5 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Apparently.... lol |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Horace | May 20 2015, 10:31 PM Post #6 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Law is a funny thing when it comes to HOAs. |
| As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good? | |
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| Jolly | May 21 2015, 02:39 AM Post #7 |
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Geaux Tigers!
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Which is why I'm against HOAs. Yeah, I know that not having one allows the jerk down the street to screw up the property value of the neighborhood, but I'd rather have the freedom that goes with less (county or city) rules, than more rules (HOA). |
| The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros | |
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| Improviso | May 21 2015, 02:44 AM Post #8 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I suppose if I lived in a neighborhood with an HOA, this would drive them up the wall.![]() Here in the country... not so much.
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| jon-nyc | May 21 2015, 03:04 AM Post #9 |
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Cheers
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Not as much as all those broken appliances on your front porch. |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| George K | May 21 2015, 03:11 AM Post #10 |
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Finally
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I just have to say it before Larry does..... POSSUM! |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Catseye | May 21 2015, 03:22 AM Post #11 |
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Pisa-Carp
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Improviso -- Do you got to mow that thing???
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| "How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex | |
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| Catseye | May 21 2015, 03:22 AM Post #12 |
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Pisa-Carp
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| "How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex | |
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| Mikhailoh | May 21 2015, 03:23 AM Post #13 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Horace...run for the HOA board!!! |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Copper | May 21 2015, 03:53 AM Post #14 |
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Shortstop
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Ask your new friend if she would like to join Tncr |
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The Confederate soldier was peculiar in that he was ever ready to fight, but never ready to submit to the routine duty and discipline of the camp or the march. The soldiers were determined to be soldiers after their own notions, and do their duty, for the love of it, as they thought best. Carlton McCarthy | |
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| Improviso | May 21 2015, 04:09 AM Post #15 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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No... the flag pretty much takes care of itself. A little rain washes the dust off and it's permanent-press, so no ironing is needed. |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| Improviso | May 21 2015, 04:13 AM Post #16 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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At least they won't get stolen... The 5 bloodhounds lying on the porch scare everybody away with their incessant howling. And I really need to get the car fixed. The house is more mobile than the car right now. |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| Renauda | May 21 2015, 06:18 AM Post #17 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I have never heard of such a thing here and I am not aware of any neighbourhood jerk down the street driving property values down. In fact, it is quite the opposite with all the high quality in-fill houses under construction around here. |
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| Mark | May 21 2015, 06:55 AM Post #18 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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There is no way on earth would I ever live where I had to deal with such BS. |
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___.___ (_]===* o 0 When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells | |
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| Catseye | May 21 2015, 07:27 AM Post #19 |
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Pisa-Carp
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I was talking about the lawn, Improv.
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| "How awful a knowledge of the truth can be." -- Sophocles, Oedipus Rex | |
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| Aqua Letifer | May 21 2015, 08:05 AM Post #20 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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I find them mostly deplorable, and they alone are to blame for this region's 100 square miles of stale, lifeless plasticine homes that are each less inviting than the fucking DMV. HOAs have strangled to death the character and visual appeal of every neighborhood in Northern Virginia, Central Maryland, the Baltimore-Washington corridor and—to a greater degree these days—the outer peninsula. A pox on all their community business offices. That said, I think it's good my parents are moving into one that's so tightly regulated. They've gotten Type A to the point of neurotic about home stuff, and it's better for them that they're no longer responsible for their house's exterior. If I went the starter home route, I might have looked into one, too. But, I don't much care about that. |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| Larry | May 21 2015, 08:33 AM Post #21 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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My story didn't involve an HOA.. it was city code enforcement. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Improviso | May 21 2015, 09:17 AM Post #22 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I knew that... was just playing with ya...That's only part of it. I've got an acre+ to mow every week. Takes me about 3 beers..eh..um.. 3 hours to do all the cutting and trimming. Good thing the rider has a cup holder, huh. I'd die of thirst otherwise. |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| Jolly | May 21 2015, 09:22 AM Post #23 |
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Geaux Tigers!
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Improv's yard wouldn't make a scab on a good cow's ass. When I mow, I use a Echo weedeater, a 6.5 hp push mower, a 14hp diesel Kubota and a 41hp diesel tractor. And every blue moon I'll go mow the 4 acres at my daughter's house for a change of pace. Fun in the sun.
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| The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros | |
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| John D'Oh | May 21 2015, 09:24 AM Post #24 |
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MAMIL
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Americans often struggle to identify the difference between a lawn and a field. If you can stage civil war re-enactments on it, it is no longer a lawn. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| Jolly | May 21 2015, 09:27 AM Post #25 |
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Geaux Tigers!
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Hell, in Texas, your whole damn country would be a yard.
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| The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros | |
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I knew that... was just playing with ya...

6:45 AM Jul 11