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Please address me as Mister
Topic Started: Feb 22 2015, 06:39 PM (268 Views)
George K
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Finally
Please address me as Mister. I insist.

Quote:
 
We were all gathered in the lunchroom of my Catholic grade school. I was in seventh grade, about to receive the sacrament of Confirmation. The archbishop wandered in to give us a little pre-Mass pep talk. His excellency told us to call him “Archbishop Jim.” His intention was surely to make us feel more comfortable around him, but I was shocked. He was a direct successor to the Apostles. He had the power of transubstantiation in his hands. He could forgive sins in the name of God. At a minimum, he was a lot older than me, and my parents told me to call adults “Mr. Maese,” not “Brook.”

“Archbishop Jim?” Nope. I couldn’t say it.

Years later, when I began working at the august American Enterprise Institute, I got to know the august Charles Murray. I called him “Dr. Murray” until the third time he told me to call him “Charles.” So “Charles” it is, but only by request. FDR once referred to Gen. George Marshall as “George.” Marshall was irritated at “such a misrepresentation of our intimacy,” and it showed. From then on, President Roosevelt never used the general’s first name.

I was reminded of all this when I read a news account last week of a press conference featuring President Obama and the chancellor of Germany. My jaw hit the floor when I read the president referring to the chancellor, Angela Merkel, as “Angela.”
...
Our society is suffering from a tyranny of informality. It is rude. It is false intimacy. It is a product of the utopian, egalitarian fiction that society is one big happy village. A friendship circle, where we’re all holding hands. Station and hierarchy should be leveled because they are so nineteenth-century. In the modern world, we are all equal — so we are all pals.

And, of course, in the deepest sense we are all equal: equal before God, equal in moral worth. C. S. Lewis, the Christian apologist, wrote that “you have never talked to a mere mortal.” And you haven’t. All people, as Lewis put it, are “immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

But equality in the deepest sense does not mean equality in all things, especially on this side of eternity. Equality in all things is, indeed, frightening. (Do you remember how Robespierre’s égalité worked out?) And not only frightening, but boring, as well. Our differences make us interesting.

And, ultimately, equality in all things is false. A PhD has added to the stock of human knowledge; an undergraduate hasn’t. A priest can transform bread and wine; a layman can’t. Chancellor Merkel can affect the near course of history; I can’t. My friend’s father has successfully raised four children; I haven’t. The way we address each other should reflect these differences because these differences are real and material, and obvious.
...
If every relationship begins on a first-name basis, then I am robbed of the ability to signal to someone that he has become a friend or close colleague by inviting him to address me by my first name. If the guy who comes to fix my cable calls me “Michael,” then what is left for my friends to call me? And isn’t it a little easier for the cable guy to give substandard service to “Tom” than to “Mr. Creal?”

So far I have suffered in silence, asking to be addressed as “Mr. Strain” only once, years ago, during a heated phone conversation with an agent of my health insurance company. But to see the president, in public, referring to the chancellor of Germany by her first name tells me that informality has gone way too far. It’s time to swing the pendulum a good distance back.

“Chancellor Merkel.” Certainly not “Angela.” And perhaps a little more respectful distance through formality for the rest of us, too. After all, it’s just good manners.

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"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Copper
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Shortstop
Mister George it is.
The Confederate soldier was peculiar in that he was ever ready to fight, but never ready to submit to the routine duty and discipline of the camp or the march. The soldiers were determined to be soldiers after their own notions, and do their duty, for the love of it, as they thought best. Carlton McCarthy
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George K
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Finally
[Get off my lawn]

Sorry, but I agree with the guy. Having some kind of respect conveyed to someone empowers (I hate that word) him as well as you. Not having that respect diminishes both of you.

I always call my patients "Mr. or Ms." I expect the same respect from them. When I call someone with whom I do business, I don't like being called "George." I've never met you, and I don't want that kind of familiarity. When, and if, I become your friend, I will call you by your first name, and you can do the same. Until then, I prefer "Mr. K."

Oh, and I am not "George" to my kids, though they are adults. I am "Dad."

[/Get off my lawn]
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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George K
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Finally
Oh, by the way, when Mr. Obama became President (Did you see what I did there?), I started a thread about how he referred to McCain as "John." At the time I thought that he should have referred to him as "Senator McCain," or just "Senator." It shows respect. If it's extended to you Mr. President, you should return it.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Copper
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Shortstop
Yup.
The Confederate soldier was peculiar in that he was ever ready to fight, but never ready to submit to the routine duty and discipline of the camp or the march. The soldiers were determined to be soldiers after their own notions, and do their duty, for the love of it, as they thought best. Carlton McCarthy
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Red Rice
HOLY CARP!!!
It really depends on the relationship. George W. Bush often addressed Vicente Fox by his first name in public, but they had a very friendly relationship, at least initially. I don't know how close the relationship between Obama and Merkel is, though she did address him at least once as Barack.

On the other hand, my wife and I are very good friends with an anesthesiologist. We've had dinner together, she's loaned us her cottage, she's treated us to the opera, I helped her daughter move to college, etc. But on those occasions when I'm in her OR, I ALWAYS address her as "Dr. Patel".
Civilisation, I vaguely realized then - and subsequent observation has confirmed the view - could not progress that way. It must have a greater guiding principle to survive. To treat it as a carcase off which each man tears as much as he can for himself, is to stand convicted a brute, fit for nothing better than a jungle existence, which is a death-struggle, leading nowhither. I did not believe that was the human destiny, for Man individually was sane and reasonable, only collectively a fool.

I hope the gunner of that Hun two-seater shot him clean, bullet to heart, and that his plane, on fire, fell like a meteor through the sky he loved. Since he had to end, I hope he ended so. But, oh, the waste! The loss!

- Cecil Lewis
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
I call pretty much everybody I work with by their first name. There's the odd character who enjoys being called Mr. but it's very unusual nowadays, even in countries where the formality is more common like Japan I'm finding they're using first names much more readily.

You'd think that somebody with the surname 'Strain' would be bloody keen to be called by his first name. He certainly seems a lot more worried about this nonsense than I can manage to make myself.

There's quite a history of US Presidents making social gaffes - Bush manhandled Merkel on one occasion, and then there was the infamous wink at the Queen. I find it quite amusing that people get their knickers in a twist. They all put their pants on in the morning just like everybody else, and none of them sh!t toothpaste, as one of my English friends once said.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Red Rice
HOLY CARP!!!
John D'Oh
Feb 22 2015, 08:11 PM
There's quite a history of US Presidents making social gaffes
Two words: Royal Family
Civilisation, I vaguely realized then - and subsequent observation has confirmed the view - could not progress that way. It must have a greater guiding principle to survive. To treat it as a carcase off which each man tears as much as he can for himself, is to stand convicted a brute, fit for nothing better than a jungle existence, which is a death-struggle, leading nowhither. I did not believe that was the human destiny, for Man individually was sane and reasonable, only collectively a fool.

I hope the gunner of that Hun two-seater shot him clean, bullet to heart, and that his plane, on fire, fell like a meteor through the sky he loved. Since he had to end, I hope he ended so. But, oh, the waste! The loss!

- Cecil Lewis
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Steve Miller
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Bull-Carp
George K
Feb 22 2015, 06:59 PM
I always call my patients "Mr. or Ms." I expect the same respect from them. When I call someone with whom I do business, I don't like being called "George." I've never met you, and I don't want that kind of familiarity. When, and if, I become your friend, I will call you by your first name, and you can do the same. Until then, I prefer "Mr. K."
A distinctly Midwestern point of view.
Wag more
Bark less
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Steve Miller
Feb 23 2015, 12:21 AM
George K
Feb 22 2015, 06:59 PM
I always call my patients "Mr. or Ms." I expect the same respect from them. When I call someone with whom I do business, I don't like being called "George." I've never met you, and I don't want that kind of familiarity. When, and if, I become your friend, I will call you by your first name, and you can do the same. Until then, I prefer "Mr. K."
A distinctly Midwestern point of view.
Exactly the way it works down here.

I've never had a doctor (except my Family guy, who I went to college with) address me as anything but Mr. Jolly.

I, in turn, don't address physicians as anything but "Doctor". And have a really hard time getting past that, even in social situations.
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Red Rice
Feb 22 2015, 08:24 PM
John D'Oh
Feb 22 2015, 08:11 PM
There's quite a history of US Presidents making social gaffes
Two words: Royal Family
It's not a gaffe if you've got 1000 years of inbreeding to back it up, it's a charming eccentricity.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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