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War on Women
Topic Started: Jun 14 2012, 05:08 AM (252 Views)
Copper
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Shortstop

http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/14/world/asia/india-female-infanticide/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

Quote:
 

Indian father accused of killing baby 'for being a girl'

By Sara Sidner, CNN
updated 7:45 AM EDT, Thu June 14, 2012

Bangalore, India (CNN) -- Nineteen-year-old Reshma Banu sits on the stairs outside her parents' home, staring at the tiny screen on her cell phone.

The video on the screen has her mesmerized: a very short home video of her baby girl, Afreen.

The moments captured are precious because they show Banu's only child alive and well.

Afreen died in the hospital. She was three months old.

Authorities say the baby was admitted to the hospital with bite marks, cigarette burns and a dislocated neck. Police say she was killed by her father.

"After my delivery my husband had come to see me and the baby. He said, 'It is a girl, why did you give birth to a girl?'"

He wanted a boy, an heir. Girls were too expensive, he said. A couple of days after giving birth, Banu says her husband gave an ultimatum.

"For her wedding we will require a hundred thousand rupees (about US$1,800 dollars) for all the expense. If you can get that amount from your mother, then keep her, but if you can't, then kill her," Banu recalled her husband as saying.

She didn't believe he meant it and was sure he would change his mind once he held his soft, bright-eyed baby girl.

Three months later, her baby is dead, and her husband is under arrest, accused of beating the baby to death. Police say he confessed to the killing.

This is by no means the first case of its kind in India. Attitudes, traditions, and economics have come together to make being a girl a dangerous prospect in the country, doctors say. Most of the time girls are disposed of long before they are born.

How? Sex-selective abortions.

U.S. House of Representatives rejects abortion ban based on sex of fetus

India has a growing gender gap: The 2011 census showed that for every 1,000 boys six years or younger there were only 914 girls. It is the lowest child sex ratio since India's independence in 1947.

The United Nations has said India is the most dangerous place to be a girl. Dr. Anand Krishnan at All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), who has studied the gender gap for years, agrees.

"Yes, largely this is from the point of view of mortality statistics for girls versus boys," Krishnan told CNN.

Sex-selective abortions are against the law in India but are still happening at an alarming rate, he said.

His study shows a surprising trend: Sex selective abortions among the educated and well-off seem to be more prevalent than among the desperately poor and uneducated. Despite greater prosperity, their mindsets have not changed and they have the money to pay for ultrasounds and abortions.

"A boy is seen as a better investment. They prefer boys," Krishnan said.

The explanation goes something like this: In traditional Indian families the men marry and bring their bride home to live and take care of his parents.

Girls, on the other hand, marry and leave the home without providing extra financial support.

Moreover, a girl's family can go broke trying to pay a dowry to get her married. Although outlawed in India, dowries are still common and take different forms throughout society.

Indian law also forbids doctors to tell a couple the sex of their child after an ultrasound, but many clinics break the law and do so anyway.

India has made an effort across the country to stop female infanticide.

CNN visited a village in Haryana state with one of the worst ratios of boys to girls, according to the Indian government. A campaign is under way to change villagers' minds about girls.

Tiny placards above the doors of several homes say in Hindi: "If you get rid of your girls, where will you find your daughter-in-laws?"

A teenage boy wore a T-shirt that said, "Save our girls."

Nonetheless, there were young boys everywhere and only a few young girls. Villagers only affirmed why there appeared to be an imbalance.

"Girls are mostly aborted here. The people want more boys. There is a shortage of girls," Chandravati said without hesitation.

The villager was taking care of her neighbor's newborn baby girl. She cooed at the baby while blowing cigarette smoke into its tiny little face, oblivious to the dangers second-hand smoke could pose.

She told us the poorest people don't have the money to abort, so they are forced to keep girls, but those who can afford an ultrasound and abortion get rid of female fetuses.

"So much money is required to get them married. Where will the money come from?" she said. "Everything is so expensive these days."

But India is a country filled with in-your-face contradictions. When it comes to women and girls it is a place where the discarding of girls is juxtaposed with the fact that India has a female president and speaker of the House -- and its most powerful politician is a woman, Sonia Gandhi.

Indira Gandhi, Sonia's mother-in-law, became India's first woman prime minister and one of the world's first female heads of government.

In 2011 the latest census data showed the literacy rate for girls is growing faster than for boys.

Banu, whose husband is accused of killing their baby, and her parents say they always believed a baby -- boy or girl -- was a blessing.

Her mother, Maqbool Bi, had four girls and a boy. Though the family is poor, she raised her girls with great hope for their futures.

"With all that is there in my heart, my heart breaks every time I recall what happened [to my granddaughter]. Even when I was starving I raised my children, all four of them. I used to pray to God to save me from seeing any of my children die before my own eyes. My children should succeed in life. They should make us proud," she said.

Banu now lives with her parents in a tiny two-room home filled to a bursting point with family members.

She will spend her life struggling with the fact that she never got the chance to raise her first child because the baby was born a girl. With tears welling in her eyes, Banu said, "She had just come into the world. She was like a flower bud, and he killed her. I lost my daughter. What can be worse than this?"


The Confederate soldier was peculiar in that he was ever ready to fight, but never ready to submit to the routine duty and discipline of the camp or the march. The soldiers were determined to be soldiers after their own notions, and do their duty, for the love of it, as they thought best. Carlton McCarthy
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Frank_W
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Sickening and heartbreaking... :no:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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Mikhailoh
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Words fail.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Klaus
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HOLY CARP!!!
Indeed.

Over here some women still fight a bizarre equality war they already won decades ago.

They should concentrate their efforts on India. There their efforts would be justified.
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
I read an interesting article recently in the context of software development, about differences culturally that make their way into the finished product.
In the article, it spoke about Indian software developers being the most brilliant in the world, but not nearly as good as some of their western counterparts in terms of deliverables and end-product. I knew this to be true from personal experience, so I keenly read the article.
It asked the question if deep seeded cultural beliefs trickle up (or down?) - in the case of Indian programmers, those with a belief system including reincarnation seemed to have a worldview with endless chances, and no pressure or stress to get it perfect - the best it can possibly be - on the first run.
I'm not saying this is the case necessarily - but I think it's an interesting discussion.
Could a similar thing happen in this case?
What if a belief in endless chances and no real sense of immediacy or finality leads to a lack of value for life, or at least, a lesser view for the sanctity of *this* life?
Edited by KlavierBauer, Jun 14 2012, 09:29 AM.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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brenda
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..............
Frank_W
Jun 14 2012, 05:13 AM
Sickening and heartbreaking... :no:
+1 Abortion is often touted as important to women's health. Often it means the death of girls so they will never become women.
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
KlavierBauer
Jun 14 2012, 09:28 AM
I read an interesting article recently in the context of software development, about differences culturally that make their way into the finished product.
In the article, it spoke about Indian software developers being the most brilliant in the world, but not nearly as good as some of their western counterparts in terms of deliverables and end-product. I knew this to be true from personal experience, so I keenly read the article.
It asked the question if deep seeded cultural beliefs trickle up (or down?) - in the case of Indian programmers, those with a belief system including reincarnation seemed to have a worldview with endless chances, and no pressure or stress to get it perfect - the best it can possibly be - on the first run.
I'm not saying this is the case necessarily - but I think it's an interesting discussion.
Could a similar thing happen in this case?
What if a belief in endless chances and no real sense of immediacy or finality leads to a lack of value for life, or at least, a lesser view for the sanctity of *this* life?
This is straying somewhat from the original post, but:

Regarding the "trickling" as you put it of cultural beliefs, some of the teachers I work with deal with a lot of extra crap from parents and managers for being women. Nothing concrete of course, but they're spoken to in a way that never happens to me, but I'm younger, probably have equal qualifications, and they've been there much, much longer.

I bring this up because in between managers and parents, I can't think of many who aren't immigrants, and some of the most obnoxious sexism comes from the Indian families. The question that always comes to my mind is, how in the world could you bring this problem up without sounding racist? The women are natives to the country, being abused verbally by parents who aren't from here and to even mention this as fact is unacceptable because of how society discerns prejudice.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
In my mind - such issues may exist - we all know and recognize that people and cultures are different.
Observing this isn't racist, unless the conclusion is that one race is better all around than another.

I had a friend who worked as an RN and sometimes-surgeon in a high mountain clinic in Nepal for a couple years. She always remarked how Americans thought it was so "cool" to be in Nepal, and what a "magical" and amazing place it is. She agreed of course that it was an amazing place - but she had stern warnings as well, about a society based on casts, where people would walk by injured people on the roadside simply because of their gender, or their cast.
Mentioning the existence of that, or even questioning it isn't racist (at least not in my opinion).
But I can empathize with your position - I was hesitant to even bring up what I did in my first post here, because I wondered if some can even speak objectively about the possibility (or not) for what I proposed to be valid.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Copper
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KlavierBauer
Jun 14 2012, 09:51 AM

where people would walk by injured people on the roadside simply because of their gender, or their cast.


Well if they have a cast they have already been fixed up.

e
The Confederate soldier was peculiar in that he was ever ready to fight, but never ready to submit to the routine duty and discipline of the camp or the march. The soldiers were determined to be soldiers after their own notions, and do their duty, for the love of it, as they thought best. Carlton McCarthy
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
LOL
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
Sorry - I just realized I've been typing "cast" instead of "caste."

I could blame this on autocorrect, but I was on my laptop, so no-go.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Amanda
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Senior Carp
How could such a carefully and sensitively raised woman (per her mother's words) have married such a Neanderthal brute - apparently never suspecting his true nature and what he was capable of? Bite and burn marks?? :unsure: :sad:
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We should tolerate eccentricity in others, almost to the point of lunacy, provided no one else is harmed.
[/size]

"Daily Telegraph", London July 27 2005
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
I don't know the particulars of this couple (forgive me if they're in the piece and I missed them), but it would be very normal in India (especially in a more rural, or lower-income area) for the marriage to be arranged - perhaps even at a very young age.

Culturally marriage is very different there, and some of our ideas of "love" and marriage simply don't exist - at least not in the same way. Even if you're educated and more wealthy, you may pick a spouse largely based on family ties, caste, monetary gain (for your family if you're a woman) etc. - the idea of finding your soulmate and falling in love very well may not have existed in this woman's life in the way it would here.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
brenda
Jun 14 2012, 09:28 AM
Frank_W
Jun 14 2012, 05:13 AM
Sickening and heartbreaking... :no:
+1 Abortion is often touted as important to women's health. Often it means the death of girls so they will never become women.
It's supposed conventional wisdom that the European-based missionaries who originally went to Hawaii were nothing but negative influences, applying a rigid, Puritanical understanding of morality onto what was supposedly an ideal, noble culture among the indigenous people. Supposedly, they swept in and ruined everything when their Western sensibilities were appalled by the women running around topless, and they started forcing the women to cover themselves. But what conventional wisdom fails to mention is that these same rigid missionaries also stepped into a culture where this exact same selective abortion of females, and the practice of allowing female newborns to simply die from neglect and exposure, was very common. Within a generation, their influence almost completely wiped out this terrible practice that had just a short while before been a cultural norm. And the exact same thing happened when Christianity gained influence over the prevailing earlier cultural norms in the Roman Empire, where selective abortion and infanticide of females was rampant.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

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