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| The socks have written some Christmas songs for your enjoyment.. | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 23 2011, 09:56 PM (115 Views) | |
| Larry | Dec 23 2011, 09:56 PM Post #1 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Up first, is Claude singing his version of Here Comes Santa Claus, entitled.. "There Goes Santa Claus" |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Claude Ball | Dec 23 2011, 10:00 PM Post #2 |
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Middle Aged Carp
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Ok.... There goes Santa Claus There goes Santa Claus Headin' straight toward Sears, His belly's fallin' out of his pants And his beard's comin' loose frum his ears, Now I don't know where he will go But give him lots of space, For he must be About to pee You can see it on his face. There went Santa Claus There went Santa Claus In front of Macy's door, Now I don't think that he will work In this here mall no more, It must have been That jug of gin I saw under his throne, Now he has learned That he'll get burned For pullin' out his bone. There goes Santa Claus There goes Santa Claus Such a sorry sight, Now I don't think I'll have my picture Made with him tonight, And how can he Bring gifts to me With his hands cuffed at the wrist? And can't they see That kids like me Are gettin' mighty pissed.. |
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Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment. Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth! Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest..... DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES! | |
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| Mikhailoh | Dec 23 2011, 10:04 PM Post #3 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Time for my 'mall Santa' story? |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Harry Balzac | Dec 23 2011, 10:06 PM Post #4 |
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Advanced Member
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Chipmunks roasting on an open fire Hot sauce dripping from their toes Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir They poked hot skewers through their nose Everybody knows some pepper and a garlic clove Help to make them seasoned right Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat Will really hit the spot tonight And now when Santa sees his tray There'll be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh And every hungry child is gonna spy To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry And so I'm brushing on some honey glaze To keep them crisp and juicy too Let?s hope they get served many times many ways Tasty Chipmunks; good food And so I'm offering some recipes From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew I?m not really sad that it ended this way Furry chipmunks screw you |
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| Tonto Goldstein | Dec 23 2011, 10:07 PM Post #5 |
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Advanced Member
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My contribution is to the tune of Auld Lang Syne", and it's called "Auld Dang Wine" Auld Dang Wine Should auld acquaintance be forgot And I get out of line, It's just because I drink a lot I'm sloshed on auld dang wine. My eyes are red, I'm turning green I have a raw behind, But I'll just throw up in between My sips of auld dang wine. I cannot hardly find my shoes And that's an awful sign, 'Cause I don't need a good excuse For drinkin' auld dang wine. I never know what day it is My mem'ry works by chance, And I will often take a whiz And never drop my pants. There's nothing worse than getting drunk And running out of booze, Then sober up and find you stunk From pissing on your shoes. And in this state it's hard to tell When Christmas gets its start My only clue is when I smell A reindeer cut a fart. |
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Sock License # 113 Old Indian saying: How smooth must be the language of the white man, when they can make right look like wrong, and wrong look like right. ~ Black Hawk | |
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| Ayatollah Khamenei | Dec 23 2011, 10:09 PM Post #6 |
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Junior Carp
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"Merry Christmas, Allah" Christmas treats have all been baked The fridge is stocked with booze But I still have one wish to make A big Noel to you Merry Christmas Allah We’re far apart that’s true But that can change if we can arrange Some mistletoe for you Christmas lights on my street I wish you could see But Mecca’s so far away I would serve the family lamb instead of Christmas ham Just to make things okay Still I wish you’d get into Christmas Merry Christmas Allah Have some eggnog too Why not pick up a little Christmas tree and buy your wives some new shoes? My big desire - a worldwide cease-fire 'Cause Santa’s up in his sleigh And we wish you Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Allah Happy Ramadan too Just one more wish on this Christmas Eve Peace on Earth would do And take this fruitcake too |
| Allah'u Akhbar! | |
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| Achmed The Dead Terrorist | Dec 23 2011, 10:18 PM Post #7 |
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Advanced Member
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I like songs about blowing up sh!t... My version of "Up On The Housetop" Up on the housetop, click click click, I sat waiting for old Saint Nick, Last year I asked for a doll that wet, All that I got was a chemistry set. Ho ho ho, He's gonna blow, Hee hee hee, Don't mess with me, Don't give a sh!t 'bout his eight reindeer, He's gonna blow when he gets to here... Up 'cross the chimney, bing bing bing, I've made a trip wire from guitar string, Hooked to a bomb that's as hot as they get, One that I made with my chemistry set. Ho ho ho, He's gonna blow, Hee hee hee, Don't mess with me, Don't give a sh!t 'bout his eight reindeer, He's gonna blow when he gets to here. Up on the housetop, hey hey hey, 'Bout ten feet in front of his sleigh, There lays a bomb and if I'm not wrong, We'll have deer meat all year long. (repeat chorus) Up on the housetop, tink tink tink, Old Santa walked and he gave a wink, He handed me a doll so dear, Guess I'll give him another year. Ho ho ho, He won't blow, Hee hee hee, I'll let him be, But why did he laugh as he left from here? When I have spared him and his reindeer? (repeat chorus II) Down off the rooftop, tick tick tick, I heard the doll tick and I got sick, I heard him say just before the splat, That'll fix you, you stinking brat. Hoo hoo hoo, What did I do, hee hee hee, He messed with me, I'm gonna get what I should get, I didn't get the last chemistry set.. |
| SILENCE! I keel you! | |
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| Wyatt Derp | Dec 24 2011, 12:18 AM Post #8 |
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Advanced Member
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If vodka was water And I was a duck I'd swim to the bottom And never come up. But vodka's not water And I'm not a duck So slide me the bottle And shut the f*ck up. |
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12:53 AM Jul 11