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| MEN'S AGES AS DETERMINED BY TRIPS TO HOME DEPOT | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 13 2011, 06:08 PM (181 Views) | |
| Newpianoplayer | Dec 13 2011, 06:08 PM Post #1 |
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Senior Carp
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You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- mowing the lawn, putting up a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot, sweaty, and covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on: Shorts with a hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home-improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following: In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is pretty. In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog poop in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, "I Got Worms." In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you aren't sure. In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather. In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted? |
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| John D'Oh | Dec 13 2011, 07:55 PM Post #2 |
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MAMIL
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Bloody hell, I've died and been taken to 1970's Italy. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| brenda | Dec 13 2011, 08:38 PM Post #3 |
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..............
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Oh my. I love this list. Must share with hubby! Thank you!!
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“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.” ~A.A. Milne | |
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| Mikhailoh | Dec 13 2011, 09:09 PM Post #4 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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False. Reality fail. All ages: Go to Home Depot, get whatever the hell it is you need and split. Swear all the way there and back because that @#$% project made you miss football or something. Everyone nows there is a dearth of good looking chicks at Home Depot. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Luke's Dad | Dec 14 2011, 04:55 AM Post #5 |
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Emperor Pengin
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Yeah, we're talking Home Depot here. I actually dirty myself up a bit before I go there. Make it look like I know what I'm doing. |
| The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it. | |
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| John D'Oh | Dec 14 2011, 05:01 AM Post #6 |
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MAMIL
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Do blokes actually blow dry their hair at any stage of their life? I'm not that sure about putting on clean clothes, either, except possibly by accident. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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Oh my. I love this list. Must share with hubby! Thank you!!


4:47 PM Jul 10