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Joke for Larry
Topic Started: Nov 21 2011, 02:21 PM (341 Views)
Nobody's Sock
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Fulla-Carp
Ever wonder what the feathers in an Indian's headdress stood for?

A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian Chief, asked the significance of the varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses.

"Feathers show number of sexual partners," the chief replied. Pointing to a nearby young brave, he continued, "Him? One woman, one feather. Him?", pointing to a second, older man, "Three women, three feathers."

The reporter looked at the Chief's headdress. "But you have so many feathers!"

The Chief proudly slapped his chest. "Me Chief. Sleep with all women. Big, small, fat, tall."

Horrified, the female reporter said, "You ought to be hung!"

The Chief said, "Damn right. Me hung big like buffalo, long like snake."

The offended reporter said, "You don't have to be hostile!"

The Chief replied, "Hoss-style, dog-style, wolf-style, any style!"

The reporter cried, "Oh, dear!"

"No deer," said the Chief. "Ass too high, run too fast."
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
:lol2:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
I think Larry's a virgin.
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George K
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Finally
kenny
Nov 21 2011, 02:45 PM
I think Larry's a virgin.
He's a vagitarian.

It says so in his sig.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
John Eagle Claw was sitting in a bar. A white guy comes into the bar, orders a drink, then goes to the end of the bar, lights a big cigar, and quietly stands there blowing smoke rings as he enjoys his drink.

After about ten smoke rings, John Eagle Claw gets up, walks over to the man, and with a mean look in his eye says "One more remark like that and I'm gonna smash your face in..."

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one
inch of the leather every day.

After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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George K
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Finally
Larry
Nov 21 2011, 06:06 PM
"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
Moderator!!
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Moderator, hell. We need a new comedy writer.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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George K
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Finally
Nobody's Sock
Nov 21 2011, 02:21 PM
The reporter cried, "Oh, dear!"

"No deer," said the Chief. "Ass too high, run too fast."
Oh, by the way, I told that joke in 1983. I remember where I was when I told it (OR #27 - the Heart Room - we had a surgeon with a nasty sense of humor ("Nose? I thought that was your p***k, your nuts are so high!")).
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Oh, yeah. One of my favorites. The harelip in the hunchback's nut shop. Remind me to tell it next time we are together. It is my crowning glory. Utterly offensive but so much fun to tell with the voices.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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George K
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Finally
Mikhailoh
Nov 21 2011, 07:23 PM
It is my crowning glory
"I crapped my pants!"
"I would have been frightened as well!"
"No, just now..."
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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George K
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Finally
Mikhailoh
Nov 21 2011, 07:23 PM
harelip
"I said, 'Particularly nasty weather.'"
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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George K
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Finally
Mikhailoh
Nov 21 2011, 07:23 PM
harelip
"Would I?"
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
'Woodeye! Woodeye!'

'Harelip! Harelip!'

I love that joke.


A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell bloock breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "they didn't like the way you told it."
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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brenda
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..............
Woodeye - Harelip was one of my dad's favorites. :)
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Then how about THIS oldie but goodie?


Joe took Kim to the carnival for their first date. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.

I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.

Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.

"I want to get weighed," she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.

The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.

By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"

Kim responded, "Wousy."
Edited by Mikhailoh, Nov 22 2011, 04:34 AM.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A hairlipped midget says to the bartender: "Would you watth my beer while I go take a pith?" The bartender says he will, so the hairlipped midget goes to the restroom.

When he comes back in the bartender notices the midget's hair is all messed up and he looks depressed. "What's wrong?" he asks the midget. "Well I'm in the Johthn and a guy comths in and pullth out a gun and thez, "Give me a BJ our I'll blow your head off."

The bartender says, "Well what happened?"

The harelip says, "Well you didn't hear a gunthot did ya?"
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
A Kenyan marxist, a muslim, and a narcissist walk into a bar.

The bartender says... "Drinking alone again, Barry?"
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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