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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 6 2011, 04:20 AM (578 Views) | |
| Larry | Sep 6 2011, 11:23 PM Post #26 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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A guy goes to a whorehouse and says to the Madam, "I want to get screwed but I only have $20." The Madam tells him to go up to room #12 and knock on the door. The guy walks up to the door, knocks on it, and says, "I really want to get screwed, bad!" A very sexy voice replies "Just slide $20 under the door." So the man slides the $20 under the door and waits... Nothing happens! He knocks on the door again, and yells out "Hey, I want to get screwed!" The sexy voice behind the door answers, "Again?" |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Sep 6 2011, 11:24 PM Post #27 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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One day, while the boy was away at school his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects. 1. A bible. 2. A silver dollar. 3.. A bottle of whisky. 4. And a Playboy magazine. "I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer." The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold. "Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "He's gonna run for Congress. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Sep 6 2011, 11:28 PM Post #28 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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An old redneck had been working industriously with a stub pencil and a piece of paper. Suddenly he looked up and smiled. He exclaimed, "Doggoned it Maw, if I ain't done learned to write." Maw got up and looked at the lines scrawled across the paper. "What does it say" ? "I don't know", the redneck replied, "I ain't learned to read yet." |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Sep 7 2011, 06:23 AM Post #29 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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How a blonde rides an escalator:
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Sep 7 2011, 06:26 AM Post #30 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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A guy goes into a Walmart walks and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The blonde pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly,"Do you sell Viagra here?" The blonde pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do." The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?" The Blonde pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "If you took five or six pills at once you might." |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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6:54 AM Jul 11