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Questions to ask TSA
Topic Started: Dec 14 2010, 09:57 AM (138 Views)
ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
pretty funny...

1) How did you begin working for the TSA? Did you wake up one morning and say, "Ah, I'd like to make little kids cry by stealing their teddy bears and grope pilots until they puke"? Or was Wal-Mart not hiring that week?

2) Have you ever read the US Constitution? Does the Fourth Amendment mean anything to you? Or do you figure it no longer applies to pervs in your exalted line of "work"?

3) Do you ever feel badly when you see your neighbors losing their homes to foreclosure while you sponge off their taxes?

4) Could you share with us exactly what it feels like to squeeze another guy's junk? Readers want to know. Did it take you a while to adapt to these new "duties," or did you take to them naturally? If the latter, does that worry you?

5) Along those same lines, if screeners are such great folks, why haven't we read of mass resignations over management's orders to sexually assault passengers?

6) How many of your co-"workers" have kicked the magnetometers when attractive women walk through them? How many times have you done that? What opportunities do you foresee with the new carcinogenic scanners?

7) The TSA has so far slaughtered one man (Rigoberto Alpizar, Dec 2005) and is morally culpable for the death of a woman (Carol Anne Gotbaum, Oct 2007). How would you suggest passengers best protect themselves from you and your accomplices, especially now that you are sexually assaulting them?

8) Do you agree with your co-"worker" in LA who proclaimed after work one day, "I am god"? On the other hand, the TSA tied with the IRS in a poll a few years ago as America's most hated bureaucracy. How do you and other screeners reconcile these disparate positions?

9) Given the public's mood at the moment, do you fear Congress will abolish the TSA? What are your plans for employment in that case? Does the thought of honest work scare you?

10) Do you feel at all guilty for helping push America towards a police state? If not, why not?

The dogma lives loudly within me.
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Mark
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HOLY CARP!!!
Problem is that most people will think of or take this as just a joke.

It's not.
___.___
(_]===*
o 0
When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Mark
Dec 14 2010, 10:10 AM
Problem is that most people will think of or take this as just a joke.

It's not.
Yeah. The problem for me, is that I really do want answers to about half those.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Excellent questions! Particularly the one pertaining to the 4th Amendment.

11. Would you like to squeeze my wiener?

12. Ever spent time in a Turkish prison?

13. Do you like it when your dog rubs up and down on your leg?
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
When I flew on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, despite what I'd read in the media the general mood of the travelling populace at large towards the security systems in place appeared to be one of complete apathy.

Personally, the security systems didn't really worry me that much. In terms of making the flight less than pleasant, I was more concerned by the smelly and overweight people I had to fly with.

But that's just me.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
Aqua Letifer
Dec 14 2010, 10:11 AM
Mark
Dec 14 2010, 10:10 AM
Problem is that most people will think of or take this as just a joke.

It's not.
Yeah. The problem for me, is that I really do want answers to about half those.
+1
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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