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Moving today!; For good this time.
Topic Started: Dec 1 2010, 02:20 AM (472 Views)
NAK
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Senior Carp
This is it. I'm grabbing a few necessities, catching a cab to my new temporary abode, and closing the door on all the drama and negativity associated with this place. I'm going to shake my dad's hand, thank him for the values which he, through positive or negative example, has instilled in me, and when I release his hand I will mark the moment when he no longer has any determining influence in my life.

Adieu to walking on eggshells; to having always to alter and repress myself when he is around; to awkward conversations that never get to the point; to all the BS.

2 failed attempts - call them test flights - at leaving the nest have at least helped prepare me for the real thing. This is the last night I will spend under his roof, and under his authority.

Thank you, everyone who has listened and offered their advice and counselling on issues between me and my dad. Your insights have been much appreciated (and will, thank God, never be needed on this issue again).

:woot:
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jon-nyc
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Cheers
Godspeed, Nak.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
I think it is a very good decision, NAK. We're all rooting for you!
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
Difficult, but very healthy. Good luck, NAK. :thumb:
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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RosemaryTwo
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HOLY CARP!!!
Hey there, be strong.

Don't be afraid of failure along the way. Just get back up and press onward. Learn from every experience.

You da man.
"Perhaps the thing to do is just to let stupid run its course." Aqua
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George K
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Finally
Everyone must make a choice whether the current situation is worth it. You sound like you've made the right one. What everyone else said - Godspeed and best of luck.

Keep us posted.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
The secret of life is to fall 50 times, and get up 51.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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Klaus
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HOLY CARP!!!
How far away from your dad will you move?
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
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jon-nyc
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Cheers
Dewey
Dec 1 2010, 04:39 AM
The secret of life is to fall 50 times, and get up 51.
Sh1t!!! I got it backwards.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
I said that to my brother last week, and Mr. Analytical said, "That's impossible!" ^_^
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Outstanding, NAK! Good luck! :)
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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apple
one of the angels
i would not sever all ties. I am glad you are moving tho. Sometimes you just have to move on. I would leave the door to your new place open.
it behooves me to behold
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Dewey
Dec 1 2010, 05:08 AM
I said that to my brother last week, and Mr. Analytical said, "That's impossible!" ^_^
Can't see the forest for the trees. :lol2:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
apple
Dec 1 2010, 06:04 AM
I would leave the door to your new place open.
Yes. That way, I can come in and steal all of your stuff. :ph43r:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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brenda
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..............
Best wishes, NAK! :hug:
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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Mark
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HOLY CARP!!!
Good luck NAK!
___.___
(_]===*
o 0
When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
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sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
Good on ya, NAK. It may not be the easiest thing to do, but sometimes those are the right things. Keep us posted, ok? :hug:
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
NAK: I think you're making the right decision.
And I can tell you - you may find that over some time, his respect for you as your own man will have increased greatly. I had similar issues for a long time, and leaving the house really helped.
It can be the foundation for a better mutual understanding, and a better relationship overall. In time, I think those things will be important - but for now, it will be healthy just to be out on your own, and discover completely who you are without the negative influence.

You'll be surprised what you find.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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NAK
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Senior Carp
Klaus
Dec 1 2010, 04:45 AM
How far away from your dad will you move?
About a 20 minute walk, for now. After this month I'm moving into someplace more permanent, But my job has me pretty much tied to this city.
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Klaus
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HOLY CARP!!!
Ah, I see. In my experience one needs a distance of at least 250 miles (such that coming for a day is no longer practical) to really terminate parental influence. But moving out is of course a good first step ;)
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
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Optimistic
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HOLY CARP!!!
Best of luck for a smooth transition, NAK! It sounds like you already know you made the right decision. :)
PHOTOS

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
- Mark Twain


We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
-T. S. Eliot
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Dewey
Dec 1 2010, 04:39 AM
The secret of life is to fall 50 times, and get up 51.
"In Chinese variety stores, we have a weighted dog, much like your weighted clowns, which points out a moral: 'fall down nine times, but rise again ten times.' To refuse to be cast down, that is the lesson." - t3h Bruce

Best of luck on the move, NAK! Your situation is in no way easy to deal with but you're of course taking the right approach here. Hope you get set up nice and easy at your new place. :smile:
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
Dewey
Dec 1 2010, 05:08 AM
I said that to my brother last week, and Mr. Analytical said, "That's impossible!" ^_^
But we start out prone, so the first thing is to get up....
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
NAK
Dec 1 2010, 08:36 PM
Klaus
Dec 1 2010, 04:45 AM
How far away from your dad will you move?
About a 20 minute walk, for now. After this month I'm moving into someplace more permanent, But my job has me pretty much tied to this city.
That's ok. A good secure job is high priority in the moving out scenario. Put your focus on your work for now, don't dwell on the family.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
IT - that was my thinking - just like the first year is "1", not "0."
You've already gotten up once before you're fallen, so if you fall 50, and die - you've fallen 50 and gotten up 50. It's not impossible Dewey, you just have to make sure that you don't fall when you pass on.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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