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Luke got jumped by 3 kids at school.
Topic Started: Nov 12 2010, 08:58 AM (1,623 Views)
sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
Aqua Letifer
Nov 13 2010, 10:03 PM
I don't think being given empty platitudes (or being ignored altogether) by teachers, principals and guidance counselors while the abuse continues fits my definition of "empowerment." Just what can anyone do if there's no evidence and nobody catches the abusers in the act? In fact if all the kid has in his arsenal is to tell authority figures, that can make the abuse get worse, not better.

Maybe "restorative justice" works in other circumstances but when I was growing up we all knew this sort of approach was a total joke.
That's what I've seen as well, in a pretty average middle class elementary school. Kids who knew how to work the system, and kids who knew it was a waste of time reporting abuse. And a whole lot of time spent by the school singing the praises of their one size fits all disciplinary measures.
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RosemaryTwo
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HOLY CARP!!!
Anyone seen the new karate kid? I watched it this weekend. Good movie.

Not that every situation can be resolved in a Kung Fu tournament, but the idea of facing your fears is powerful.

Just sayin'.

"Perhaps the thing to do is just to let stupid run its course." Aqua
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Jolly
Nov 13 2010, 07:44 AM
I did a lot of preaching to my kids and at my kids (imagine that! :lol2: ).

One thing I preached on a lot, was to never start a fight, walk away if ever possible. But I made it crystal clear, that if somebody brought the fight to them and there was no way to avoid it, they better get junkyard dog mean and do their level-headed best to put their attacker down.

Yeah, they might suspended, but you let daddy and the principal sort that one out. Sometimes in this old world you can do the right thing and still be punished for it...you still do the right thing and suffer the consequences...which is a hard, but necessary lesson to learn.
That's what I taught my daughter, too. If you can avoid it, by all means do. But if it is unavoidable you use whatever means necessary and available to disable your attacker and worry about the consequences later.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
MrsKB
Nov 13 2010, 09:58 PM
Wow, Sue. It sounds like you've had some horrible experience with the namby pamby Restorative Justice approach
Not personally, no. I've just had the opportunity to observe, and listen, over many years. For the 8 years my son was in elementary school (K -7) I volunteered at the school in many capacities. I was in the office, in the library, in assorted classrooms, hallways, the gym and I worked the hot lunch program for many years. The kitchen is between the playground, the gym and the boy's washroom. I also spent a lot of time with other parent volunteers, who talked about their kids and what they'd seen. I listened to what my son and his friends said. I listened to what the teachers, administrative people and parents said.

I learned quite a lot.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
When I was growing up, these were the rules, as dictated by my old man:

1. Never start a fight.
2. Walk away when you can.
3. If you have to fight, WIN!

I was kinda' small for my age throughout elementary, middle school, and most of high school. Because of that, bullies thought I would be an easy mark. I ended up being suspended from school, numerous times for fighting.

Always, my dad would say, "Did you start it? Did you win?" If I didn't start it, (I never started it), and if I won, (and I always either won, or made the other guy hurt just as badly as I did), then my dad would say, "You're going to have to make up your assignments, but for now, enjoy your vacation." And that would be the end of it. :)
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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1hp
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Fulla-Carp

My wife says that boys have it easy - pound the hell out of each other, then it's over. Girls, otoh, carry this mess with your mind/backstabbing thing on for years.

My youngest daughter keeps getting screwed by her (supposed) good friend - nice to her face, then manipulates others to leave my daughter out of things. Not going into the details, but my daughter's (horse) trainer's younger sister - a no holds barred, tell it like it is woman - finally took the girl aside and told her what an a$$hole she is. Seems to be working for now.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those that understand binary and................
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
1hp
Nov 15 2010, 08:49 AM
My youngest daughter keeps getting screwed by her (supposed) good friend - nice to her face, then manipulates others to leave my daughter out of things. Not going into the details, but my daughter's (horse) trainer's younger sister - a no holds barred, tell it like it is woman - finally took the girl aside and told her what an a$$hole she is. Seems to be working for now.
The direct approach is always best in the event of a conflict. :thumb:
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Dewey
Nov 13 2010, 08:00 PM
Quote:
 
One thing I preached on a lot, was to never start a fight, walk away if ever possible. But I made it crystal clear, that if somebody brought the fight to them and there was no way to avoid it, they better get junkyard dog mean and do their level-headed best to put their attacker down.


A vision of Ralphie and Scut Farkis just popped into my head...
My daughter has a state championship ring for powerlifting.

She also had the rather dubious distinction of being the only girl in her high school who cold-cocked a guy...
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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