Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Them New York City people shur are funny
Topic Started: Aug 19 2010, 09:13 PM (359 Views)
Claude Ball
Member Avatar
Middle Aged Carp
Ah went up to that New York City a coupla weeks ago. Went into a bank and told the loan officer that I need to borrow 5,000 dollars for two weeks so I could go to the International Redneck Convention they was having in Paris France.

He told me that since I wasn't a depositor in his bank that I'd have to give him some serious collateral. So I handed him the title and the keys to my Ferrari. which wuz sitting right out front. So he agreed to loan me the 5,000 dollars at 12% interest. As I wuz walkin' out I could hear them laughing at me and talkin' about what a rube I wuz for leaving a 250,000 car as collateral for a 5,000 loan.

Two weeks later I went in and handed them their 5,000 plus the $23.07 I owed them in interest.
The loan officer handed me my car keys and said "Mr. Ball, we checked your D&B, and you have impeccable credit, and plenty of money. Why did you borrow 5,000 from us?

Ah jus smiled and said "Where else in New York City do you think ah could park my car for 2 weeks for 23 bucks and know that it would be there when ah got back?



Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
George K
Member Avatar
Finally
See?

This is how I know this story is BS:
Quote:
 
Mr. Ball, we checked your D&B, and you have impeccable credit, and plenty of money

If you had plenty of money, you would have done something about Rowena's teeth.

Stingy Redneck.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Claude Ball
Member Avatar
Middle Aged Carp
Whut's wrong with her teeth?....
Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
Rowena went to the pet store and bought a parrot.

She brought it home and put it on a perch, but for 3 days the parrot didn't say a word. Then one night Claude came over to visit. Claude and Rowena were sitting on the couch when the parrot suddenly squawked "SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET SOME TONIGHT!"

It embarrassed Rowena to no end.. She went back to the pet store and explained it to the manager. He told her the only thing he could figure was that the parrot was lonely and needed a companion. But - he was all out of parrots. So he loaned her a hoot owl to use until some parrots came in stock.

Rowena brought the hoot owl home and put it on a perch near the parrot. The parrot just sat there glaring at the hoot owl.. it was obvious the parrot had no use at all for the hoot owl...

That evening Claude went over to visit, they were sitting on the couch when the parrot said "SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET SOME TONIGHT!"

The hoot owl said "whoo.. whoo...."

The parrot glared at the hoot owl and said "Well not YOU, you big eyed bitch!"

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
A friend of mine just started his own business, making land-mines that look like prayer mats.

It's doing well. He says Prophets are going through the roof.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
PattyP
Member Avatar
Senior Carp

Posted Image

A tired dog is a good dog.

"Dogs' lives are too short...their only fault, really."
A.S. Turnbull
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Improviso
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Larry
Aug 19 2010, 11:34 PM
A friend of mine just started his own business, making land-mines that look like prayer mats.

It's doing well. He says Prophets are going through the roof.
:D

That ought'a piss a few liberals off. :thumb:
Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mikhailoh
Member Avatar
If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Oh, now that's funny, I don't care who...... oh, wait. :lol2:

I sent it on.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
Top Ten Country & Western Songs


10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman; But I Woke Up With A Few.

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'.

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here.

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer.

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
brenda
Member Avatar
..............
One of my dad's favorites: The Girls All Get Prettier at Closin' Time.
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic »
Add Reply