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Hey, Aqua, Luke's Dad! Be prepared!
Topic Started: Jul 11 2010, 03:56 AM (245 Views)
George K
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Finally
Posted Image
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
:lol2:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Man, they have all kinds of problems in California...
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
I'm telling you - close the borders.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Aqua Letifer
Jul 11 2010, 05:58 AM
Man, they have all kinds of problems in California...
1st and foremost is using a Nissan hatchback for Zombie Control Officers.
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
No Joke ...
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Nobody's Sock
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Fulla-Carp
Luke's Dad
Jul 12 2010, 08:08 AM
Aqua Letifer
Jul 11 2010, 05:58 AM
Man, they have all kinds of problems in California...
1st and foremost is using a Nissan hatchback for Zombie Control Officers.
I was approached a couple of years ago, and recruited to be a ZCO for my county. You kill enough zombies, people start paying attention. California Zombie Control is a little known state funded agency that I have found to be one of the least effective programs for its purported mission. It's become so politicized that nobody over there even remembers why they work there. The biggest problem today is the anti-zombie-killing lobby that is throwing boatloads of money to hamstring CZC. These are not your treehugger Greenpeace types either. They are you major landowners and farming industry types (Republicans of course) who have come to realize that zombies can be trained to work the fields at a MUCH lower cost than your average wetback. They require no monetary compensation, no unions, no housing, nada. They just require flesh. It doesn't even have to be fresh. Though human flesh is preferred, they will maintain sustanance with bovine, poulty, and other sources. And here's the kicker, these _uckers will work day and night.
With all the attention on the illegal immigrant and the possibility that they all might get deported one day, another solution had to be found. And these bastards found it.

As an aside, the hatchback type of vehicle has been standard issue since the inception of the agency. With this type of vehicle one can assume a prone position for fire. And you don't have to have Jolly's knowledge of weaponry to know that the prone position is best for accuracy.
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
I'm most accurate sitting at a picnic table with a bipod, but that's just me.
75 - 100 yards with my .243 and no zombie stands a chance (and that's just with the old iron sights).

One question I have though that just hit me this weekend: what happens to all the other life forms that potentially get bitten by zombies?
Mrs. KB and I were up above timberline in the mountains four-wheeling, and she asked "Is this where we're coming when the zombies attack OR the comet hits?"
I began to answer her question when it hit me: zombie bears!
What if a pack of zombies happens to get a couple wolves, or a bear or two, and suddenly you have zombie bears - how would we ever fight such a threat?
Even being able to easily kill the zombie bears wouldn't matter - the issue is: if the virus can spread species to species then we're all screwed. At some point, mosquitoes will carry the zombie virus and we're all doomed.
So - can it spred across species/phylum/family/genus?
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
KlavierBauer
Jul 12 2010, 12:52 PM
So - can it spred across species/phylum/family/genus?
Not gonna know until The Day Of, man.


:smile:
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Nobody's Sock
Jul 12 2010, 12:44 PM
Luke's Dad
Jul 12 2010, 08:08 AM
Aqua Letifer
Jul 11 2010, 05:58 AM
Man, they have all kinds of problems in California...
1st and foremost is using a Nissan hatchback for Zombie Control Officers.
I was approached a couple of years ago, and recruited to be a ZCO for my county. You kill enough zombies, people start paying attention. California Zombie Control is a little known state funded agency that I have found to be one of the least effective programs for its purported mission. It's become so politicized that nobody over there even remembers why they work there. The biggest problem today is the anti-zombie-killing lobby that is throwing boatloads of money to hamstring CZC. These are not your treehugger Greenpeace types either. They are you major landowners and farming industry types (Republicans of course) who have come to realize that zombies can be trained to work the fields at a MUCH lower cost than your average wetback. They require no monetary compensation, no unions, no housing, nada. They just require flesh. It doesn't even have to be fresh. Though human flesh is preferred, they will maintain sustanance with bovine, poulty, and other sources. And here's the kicker, these _uckers will work day and night.
With all the attention on the illegal immigrant and the possibility that they all might get deported one day, another solution had to be found. And these bastards found it.

As an aside, the hatchback type of vehicle has been standard issue since the inception of the agency. With this type of vehicle one can assume a prone position for fire. And you don't have to have Jolly's knowledge of weaponry to know that the prone position is best for accuracy.
I would tend to think that one of the biggest issues for ZCO's in California would be actually identifying a zombie. I mean, how do you differntiate between a zombie, and say your average former teen star? Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, et al? Then all of the surfer stoners, reality TV personalities, etc...? And I'm sure that you guys are just stock full of quislings as well.

KB, it's all in the book, man. It's all in the book.

Props to Aqua for introducing me:

Posted Image
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
Not to be confused with the composer, Max Bruchs.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Max is actually Mel Brooks' son.
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
Of course.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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George K
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Finally
Holy Crap!

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, you'll need! Everything from tents to bug repellant. Scissors to flashlights!

Of course, it'll cost you about $3K. (plus S&H)
Edited by George K, Jul 12 2010, 03:39 PM.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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KlavierBauer
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
It needs to include a motorcycle helmet, harpoon, and a schoolbus with chainsaws on the side.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
PS: Grappling hook attachment to go with the paracord and the harpoon.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Nobody's Sock
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Fulla-Carp
As melee weapsons go, nothing like a good sharp katana! When I'm ever surrounded, I actually feel safer with one of these than even an auto sawed off.
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Nobody's Sock
Jul 12 2010, 05:26 PM
As melee weapsons go, nothing like a good sharp katana! When I'm ever surrounded, I actually feel safer with one of these than even an auto sawed off.
:uparrow:

But nothing over 2 feet in length for me, thanks. I want something I can use when turning corners or entering or exiting staircases. And give me a sawed off Mossberg for my ranged weapon, if you could.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
Ranged = AR15 for me, or an SKS.
Yeah - make that the SKS actually - much more durable in mud/water conditions. AK-47 would be a great option as well, given it's toughness.
Up close I could go with a shorter Katana, paired with a Tanto (for corners).
Any of the Cold Steel swords would do the trick actually - they're brutal (youtube em).
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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Kincaid
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HOLY CARP!!!
George K
Jul 12 2010, 03:38 PM
Holy Crap!

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, you'll need! Everything from tents to bug repellant. Scissors to flashlights!
WTF would you need a tent for?
Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006.
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KlavierBauer
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HOLY CARP!!!
Kincaid - thats a trick supply. It helps weed out the worthy from the unworthy. Anyone willing to sleep out with only some rip-stop nylon separating them from the zombie hordes deserves what they get.
"I realize you want him to touch you all over and give you babies, but his handling of the PR side really did screw the pooch." - Ivory Thumper
"He said sleepily: "Don't worry mom, my dick is like hot logs in the morning." - Apple

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George K
Member Avatar
Finally
Posted Image
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Nobody's Sock
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Fulla-Carp
This poster speaks soothe.
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
try saying that five times fast
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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