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Topic Started: Mar 8 2010, 05:39 PM (236 Views)
Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
License Plate Mistake a Headache for Christian Motorist

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. — Sally Warner, 43, became a Christian while reading the biblical book of Titus. A week later she submitted a form to the DMV requesting a personalized license plate. But her request for a plate reading "TITUS 4U" arrived at her home reading "TITS 4U."

"I was crushed," Warner says. "I couldn't bring myself to put them on my car. The DMV people have been very sympathetic, but they insist I use these plates until new ones arrive."

Warner, a nurse, owns one car and has to drive to work every day. Now other motorists honk at her on the highway, and men make rude "breast-squeezing" gestures, she says, "and not just truckers." She often finds notes with phone numbers left on her windshield.

"All I can think is, 'This is what I get for trying to share the best thing that ever happened to me?'" Warner told a reporter through tears.

The DMV says they are expediting Warner's request, and that there may be an upside to the unfortunate episode. "Her plate may actually be a collector's item," said a DMV spokeswoman. "We're not allowed to put certain words on license plates and 'tits' is certainly one of them. We're puzzled how this happened."

www.larknews.com
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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Axtremus
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HOLY CARP!!!
bOops! :unsure:
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
Dewey
Mar 8 2010, 05:39 PM
"We're not allowed to put certain words on license plates and 'tits' is certainly one of them. We're puzzled how this happened."

www.larknews.com
Puzzled? Aks the license plate worker at San Quentin.
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
:spit:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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kathyk
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Pisa-Carp
"The DMV people have been very sympathetic, but they insist I use these plates until new ones arrive." :lol2:

This has got to be Onion.
Blogging in Palestine: http://kksjournal.com/
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
Follow the link.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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Riley
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HOLY CARP!!!
kathyk
Mar 8 2010, 06:37 PM
"The DMV people have been very sympathetic, but they insist I use these plates until new ones arrive." :lol2:

This has got to be Onion.
I've never heard of Lark News, but according to wiki:

"Lark News is a comedy newsletter satirizing contemporary American Christian culture, specifically evangelicalism."
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Quote:
 
'VALDOSTA, Ga. — A pastor asked his church to keep him in spite of his affair, and cited the example of King David.
"If a man after God's own heart can find forgiveness and remain king, so can I," said Douglas Jennings, 38, pastor of Tree of Life Christian Center.
Jennings, who had never been married, first saw Shannon Gillespie, 27, in the hot tub at his health club and "couldn't get my eyes off her," he told a discovery committee.
He phoned her husband and told him the Lord wanted him to enlist in the U.S. Army and serve in Iraq. Her husband, whom relatives describe as spiritually naïve, agreed. Six months later he was killed in Baghdad, and Shannon gave birth to Jennings' child.
The church board fired Jennings, but Jennings repented for the affair before God and married Shannon. The church is split over the question of keeping him.
Many worry that if they forgive Jennings outright, other pastors will cite biblical examples to excuse their sin as well. A pastor in Wyoming is already battling his church board over his occasional benders. "Noah got drunk and God still considered him righteous," he told his congregation recently. "Who can sit in judgment of the man of God?" •'



Thanks for this site Dewey - I'll be checking back for further developments.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Riley
Mar 8 2010, 07:01 PM
kathyk
Mar 8 2010, 06:37 PM
"The DMV people have been very sympathetic, but they insist I use these plates until new ones arrive." :lol2:

This has got to be Onion.
I've never heard of Lark News, but according to wiki:

"Lark News is a comedy newsletter satirizing contemporary American Christian culture, specifically evangelicalism."
Giving the game away like this is generally rewarded with 40 days and 40 nights of bad luck.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
It's one of my favorite sites. Another news item:

Rapture takes two

OTTAWA — The Rapture occurred March 31, 2005, at 9:43 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time and took both people on the planet whose theology was exactly correct.

Dan Wilson of Ottawa, Canada, was snatched away while sleeping.

"He spent years refining his eschatological scheme," says his wife. "Just last week he told me he had it all right, but I still disagreed with him on a minor point. I regret that now."

Rejna Thanawalla of New Delhi, India, also experienced the Rapture, say friends.

"She knew exactly what the books of Revelation and Daniel meant," they say. "Sadly, none of us listened to her."

In a surprise, Tim LaHaye says he was "slightly wrong on the subject of the Beast," and was left behind. Other prophecy experts say they, too, botched minor points in their end times charts.

"Looks like we'll have to stay and wait this out," said one disappointed pastor.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Riley
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HOLY CARP!!!
Larry
Mar 8 2010, 08:15 PM
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:lol2:
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