Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
The Top Differences in Famous Directors' Versions of Christmas Movies
Topic Started: Jan 5 2010, 07:23 AM (117 Views)
George K
Member Avatar
Finally
--
20> Quentin Tarantino's "An Inglorious Christmas": When a young boy gets his tongue stuck to a frozen pole, mild-mannered gangsters assist by chopping his head off.
--
19> Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining Star": Holed up in his workshop with his elves for months on end, Santa slowly goes mad amidst the tinsel and attacks his family by stabbing them with the top of the Christmas tree.
--
18> M. Night Shyamalan's "I Saw Dead People Kissing Santa Claus": A psychologist tries to rid a troubled young elf of horrific visions.
--
17> The Wachowski Brothers' "Xmas Reloaded": Mr. Santaman (who goes by the hacker alias "Nicko") is revealed as The One who can use his supernatural powers to free humanity from their mental slavery, even if only for one day a year.
--
16> Sam Peckinpah's "The Wild Bunch of Brats": In agonizing slo-mo, all the kids in the neighborhood shoot each others' eyes out with the Red Ryder BB guns they got for Christmas.
--
15> John Hughes' "16-Candle Menorah": Judaism comes to Chicago; teen angst ensues.
--
14> Alfred Hitchcock's "North By North Pole": Cary Grant plays a shopping mall Santa who is kidnapped by mysterious agents in elfin clothing and finds himself at the North Pole filling in when the big guy goes missing.
--
13> Orson Welles' "Citizen Candy Cane": A sugar tycoon uses his reindeer-drawn sled "Rosebud" to bring candy to the children of the world, while helping his stripper mistress realize her dream of becoming a Macy's elf.
--
12> Michael Cimino's "The Reindeer Hunter": This year, the Secret Santa roulette at the office turns deadly.
--
11> Steven Spielberg's "Saving Private Rudolph": While flying over New York, Rudolph falls into the lion cage at the city zoo, and Santa and the other reindeer have one more mission to complete before they can head back to the North Pole.
--
10> Martin Scorcese's "Sleigh Driver": As kids sit on his lap and read him their wish list, Santa keeps interrupting, "You talkin' to me, kid?"
--
9> Oliver Stone's "Born on the 25th of December": A young, gung-ho Santa suffers a paralyzing fall from an icy roof, causing him to speak out against the well-orchestrated, commercialized "network of lies" he believes Christmas has become.
--
8> Spike Lee's "Jingle Fever": White-as-snow Santa wants to come down Halle Berry's chimney, so to speak.
--
7> Mel Gibson's "The Oy Luck Club": Santa visits a greedy old Jew and informs him he's going to hell unless he converts to Catholicism and gives all his money away by Christmas Day.
--
6> Stanley Kubrick's "A Flockwork Orange": A gang of young shepherds make their way to Bethlehem, dishing out a bit of the ol' ultra-frankincense along the way.
--
5> Michael Bay's "Transformers 3: Revenge of the Fawnen": Santa single-handedly saves Christmas (but blows the silicone tits off Los Angeles) from alien robots by converting Rudolph into a laser cannon and Donner and Blitzen into bazookas.
--
4> Ang Lee's "Flatbroke Mountain": Two unemployed elves, Ennis and Jack, fall in love and end up on the "naughty" list.
--
3> Clint Eastwood's "Midnight in the Garden of Naughty and Nice": Santa takes a walk on the wild side while trying to figure out who belongs on his naughty list.
--
2> Roman Polanski's "A Tender Young Christmas Carol": Carol may have been a coquettish barely teenage nymphet she-elf, but damn if she didn't look and act all grown-up.
--

and the Number 1 Difference in a Famous Director's Version of a Christmas Movie...

--
1> Mel Brooks' "Blazing Swaddles": Baby Jesus finds room in the inn after all, thanks to the heroic intervention of Bethlehem's new Black sheriff.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
big al
Member Avatar
Bull-Carp
I liked those.

Big Al
Location: Western PA

"jesu, der simcha fun der man's farlangen."
-bachophile
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Enjoy forums? Start your own community for free.
Learn More · Sign-up Now
« Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic »
Add Reply