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Jokes
Topic Started: Dec 1 2009, 12:36 PM (213 Views)
Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

'Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night ... thought you might like to come. About 5:00.'

'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.'

As Lars is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'

'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em.'

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too'

'Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there, Thanks again.'

'More'n likely be some wild sex, too'

'Now that's really not a problem,' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'

'Don't much matter .... just gonna be the two of us'
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Well...... *I* thought if was funny........




Women, Men, Apples, and Wine:


Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough
to climb all the way to the top of the tree.



Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes,
and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them
until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
I like the first one. :P
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Claude Ball
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Middle Aged Carp
Oops....

I farted....
Edited by Claude Ball, Dec 2 2009, 01:27 PM.
Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
I am without words.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Yeah, that was Baaaaaaaaad...
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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NAK
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Senior Carp
Claude, PM it to me. I haven't been shocked in a while. :D


An elephant and an ant wanted to get married, so they went to the church to make arrangements. The minister, who had never been confronted with such a bizarre proposal, said they would have to wait until he got a sanction from the state. The ant immediately screamed, "But it can't wait! I'm pregnant!"
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