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Anger
Topic Started: Dec 1 2009, 10:40 AM (1,090 Views)
kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
John D'Oh
Dec 1 2009, 11:30 AM

Posted Image

Who's that man?

Isn't he a famous actor?
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Nahh, he's a Jerk.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
Ah yes, Steve Martin, thank you.
I didn't recognize him; maybe it's the dark hair.
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Mark
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HOLY CARP!!!
Wow. great stuff. I will be re-reading this thread again and again for a while I think.
___.___
(_]===*
o 0
When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
1. Determine precisely what it is you're angry about, and why.
2. Decide if your anger is justified.
3. Focus your anger exclusively on what it is you're angry about, or at, and limit your response to that. Do not express your anger at anyone or anything else. Be ready to instantly be friendly, and even laugh, with those you're not angry at.
4. Say what's on your mind right then, and get it out.
5. Once you've dealt with it, forget it and let it go. Be willing to buy the guy's lunch immediately afterward.
6. Unless he refuses to cooperate in a like fashion, in which case you stomp his ass before moving on to the rest of your life.....

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Dewey
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HOLY CARP!!!
Also: often, anger is actually a reflection of either guilt - having actually crossed some unacceptable line; or shame - feeling like you haven't measured up to some standard; or both. The anger at situation X may be real, or entirely reflective of something else going on in your life, or (often) a bit of both. It's often helpful when trying to figure out why you feel the anger, to consider those possiblities as well.
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685.

"Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous

"Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011

I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14
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apple
one of the angels
kenny
Dec 1 2009, 10:50 AM
apple
Dec 1 2009, 10:48 AM
devices.. the little things I do to keep myself in check... stupid things, like touch your toes 3 times, or take 3 breaths, take a walk. .. drink some tea.

It sounds simplistic but you can train yourself.

-apple, who is always ready to go off.

Yikes!
What good does that do?

Why not deal with the person or thing that got you angry, resolving things instead of suppressing them?
you don't need the physical reaction to accompany the thought.. or thinking process.
it behooves me to behold
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
There isn't always a possibility of "dealing with" the person or thing that makes us angry. Sometimes sh*t happens...and sometimes sh*ts happen. If you can't deal with the anger without dealing directly with the one responsible for the thing about which you are angry, you may end up stuck with a lot of unresolved anger in the long run that will eat at you and make you miserable, possibly even sick, if it lasts long enough.

For example...when our nephew was murdered in 1985, his murderer hung himself in jail. He was not a stranger...he was our nephew's great uncle (not a blood relation and not someone we knew well, but still...we were familiar with him). So....were we angry? Yep. Could we deal with him directly...nope, not even if he hadn't hung himself. He was a non-issue though because we made him a non-issue by letting go of our anger before it became bitterness, hatred, and vindictiveness. I think that is what forgiveness is...nothing more than refusing to perpetuate that person's ability to negatively effect our sense of peace and security. It doesn't imply, in any way, a desire to restore or initiate any kind of relationship with a person. That can sometimes be the case if the offense is not too great, and the offender takes responsibility and changes their behavior, but forgiving people you never want to see again is very do-able.
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Free Rider
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Fulla-Carp
Mark, this is not my thinking, but a Buddist monk who came to Jackson and spoke had this to say:

We must know that meaningfulness is happiness.
We must look to our own life, our own soul to understand, and not to the outer world or to those around us.
We must learn to accept suffering, ever-present in all life.
We must recognize that if we are angry, we poison our environment with anger.
We must see that everything is a reflection of our own minds, not the other way around.
We must consciously choose joy.
We must drop the bitterness and bile that fills our hearts.
We must be truthful and intimate with ourselves, or we cannot be so with others.

That's it. Some people have told me that stuff is a crock of sh!t...but it resonated with me and has become a part of my guiding philosophy. These words have helped me tremendously in my own issues with anger, depression, and sadness.
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Nobody's Sock
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Fulla-Carp
2 words: mary wanna

When I'm angry, after just one toke, I look back and say to myself, man, what the hell were you thinking?

It should be prescribed in any anger management system.
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."
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Horace
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HOLY CARP!!!
Mikhailoh
Dec 1 2009, 11:05 AM
I always feel better after I kick their ass.
Revenge is massively cathartic, but I guess we're not supposed to acknowledge that.
As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good?
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Free Rider
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Fulla-Carp
Nobody's Sock
Dec 1 2009, 01:57 PM
2 words: mary wanna

When I'm angry, after just one toke, I look back and say to myself, man, what the hell were you thinking?

It should be prescribed in any anger management system.
Yeah, and that too! :sombrero:
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Dan
Dec 1 2009, 11:10 AM
Mikhailoh
Dec 1 2009, 11:05 AM
I always feel better after I kick their ass.
and THEN you can forgive them! I like your style . . .
Well, sure. Remember all those fights you had as a kid, and as soon as it was over you just went back to playing baseball or whatever? Best just to get it out and move on with it. It works that way in teh animal kingdom, and I really don't think we are built for too much peace.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Red Rice
HOLY CARP!!!
Mikhailoh
Dec 1 2009, 11:05 AM
I always feel better after I kick their ass.
... and hear the lamentations of the vimmen.
Civilisation, I vaguely realized then - and subsequent observation has confirmed the view - could not progress that way. It must have a greater guiding principle to survive. To treat it as a carcase off which each man tears as much as he can for himself, is to stand convicted a brute, fit for nothing better than a jungle existence, which is a death-struggle, leading nowhither. I did not believe that was the human destiny, for Man individually was sane and reasonable, only collectively a fool.

I hope the gunner of that Hun two-seater shot him clean, bullet to heart, and that his plane, on fire, fell like a meteor through the sky he loved. Since he had to end, I hope he ended so. But, oh, the waste! The loss!

- Cecil Lewis
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George K
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Finally
Red Rice
Dec 1 2009, 02:34 PM
Mikhailoh
Dec 1 2009, 11:05 AM
I always feel better after I kick their ass.
... and hear the lamentations of the vimmen.
Now that caused me to spit Scotch. :spit:

I know, it's only 4:30, but I was on call last night, slept only 3 hours, and I deserve my comfort food liquor, dammit.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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John Galt
Fulla-Carp
Free Rider
Dec 1 2009, 01:40 PM
We must know that meaningfulness is happiness.
We must look to our own life, our own soul to understand, and not to the outer world or to those around us.
We must learn to accept suffering, ever-present in all life.
We must recognize that if we are angry, we poison our environment with anger.
We must see that everything is a reflection of our own minds, not the other way around.
We must consciously choose joy.
We must drop the bitterness and bile that fills our hearts.
We must be truthful and intimate with ourselves, or we cannot be so with others.

That's it. Some people have told me that stuff is a crock of sh!t...but it resonated with me and has become a part of my guiding philosophy. These words have helped me tremendously in my own issues with anger, depression, and sadness.
Amen, FR.

The thought that "everything is a reflection of our own minds, not the other way around" resonates with me. I try to remember that whenever any negative emotion arises.

Easy to understand, hard to do.

The relief of revenge is so short-lived. And ultimately, self-destructive.

Edited by John Galt, Dec 1 2009, 04:27 PM.
Let us begin anew, remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness.
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John Galt
Fulla-Carp
This thread is amazing.

I feel blessed to have found this group.
Let us begin anew, remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness.
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brenda
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..............
John Galt
Dec 1 2009, 04:28 PM
This thread is amazing.

I feel blessed to have found this group.
+1
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
OTOH, most anger is caused by stress.

To rid yourself of stress, you must seek out the source.

And kill it. :tiki: :tiki: :tiki:
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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Free Rider
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Fulla-Carp
John Galt
Dec 1 2009, 04:28 PM
This thread is amazing.

I feel blessed to have found this group.
That's true. The people here have very strong opinions about politics and religion...among other things. The thng I like about this place is that despite our differences TNCR's are hard working caring people.

I have learned a lot about myself and the world in general by engaging in discussions and reading threads that challenge my set way of thinking...although I'm still pretty damn liberal.

Glad to have you around. :wave:
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QuantumIvory
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Senior Carp
I was going to post Thomas Jefferson's advice about anger ("When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred."), but I have to say what Free Rider posted is far and away the best.
"I regard consciousness as fundamental. We cannot get behind consciousness." -Max Planck

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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Red Rice
Dec 1 2009, 02:34 PM
Mikhailoh
Dec 1 2009, 11:05 AM
I always feel better after I kick their ass.
... and hear the lamentations of the vimmen.
He gets it! :lol2:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Quote:
 
although I'm still pretty damn liberal.


Nah. You're only about two kids and a minivan away from being a conservative.

And one of the kids is on the way, as rumors go...
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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Free Rider
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Fulla-Carp
Jolly
Dec 1 2009, 08:06 PM
Quote:
 
although I'm still pretty damn liberal.


Nah. You're only about two kids and a minivan away from being a conservative.

:spit:

That just may be closer to the truth than I want to admit! :lol2:

Damn you, Jolly!
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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