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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 24 2009, 10:30 AM (185 Views) | |
| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:30 AM Post #1 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Gang sign for a #3 with a Diet Coke.....
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:32 AM Post #2 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.' The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, 'Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.' WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!' She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?' 'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!' |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:33 AM Post #3 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a dust-buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:34 AM Post #4 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 5) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:34 AM Post #5 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair That you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:36 AM Post #6 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Larry | Apr 24 2009, 10:43 AM Post #7 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Dear Ma and Pa Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men gots to shave but it is not so bad, as they get warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, black eyed peas, grits, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags something awful. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get into this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Gail |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| John D'Oh | Apr 24 2009, 10:45 AM Post #8 |
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MAMIL
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I think that a whole new level of hell has been opened for you for posting that last one, and I'll get two levels for laughing. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| Frank_W | Apr 24 2009, 10:49 AM Post #9 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| NAK | Apr 24 2009, 04:01 PM Post #10 |
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Senior Carp
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Was not expecting that last line.
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