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Dogs' 10 Peeves About Us
Topic Started: Apr 23 2009, 07:09 AM (204 Views)
Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead

Blaming your farts on me.. not funny.. not funny at all!

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Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG!

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Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


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Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

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Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.


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The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whooo Hooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.


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Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

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Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.


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Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?
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How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

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Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!





Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Quote:
 
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whooo Hooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.


:lol2:
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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T3h B34r
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Junior Carp
WOOF!! *wag wag wag wag wag...*
O hai. I can haz big dinnerz?

If you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away. (and leave big p00pz!)

The Great Pyrenees
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JBryan
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I am the grey one
Why aren't these called Dogs' Ten Pet Peeves About Us?
"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne


There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it".


Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

From The Lion in Winter.
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brenda
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..............
Love it!
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Make me.

Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeeky toys in the dark.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover....

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there........

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the question is, how long will it be before I can expect my light?

Hound: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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T3h B34r
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Junior Carp
Light bulb? Yeah... Whatever. After I finish patrolling the entire neighborhood, making sure everyone's safe, examining all of the livestock and making sure they are safe and healthy, finding out what all of my buddies had for breakfast, drinking my daily half-gallon of water, having a snack, gnawing a rawhide to white paste, and taking a nice long nap, I might get to it. Cripes... No wonder I never listen to you. Imbecile, with your frivolous and unimportant demands!
O hai. I can haz big dinnerz?

If you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away. (and leave big p00pz!)

The Great Pyrenees
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ScrewyLewie
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Mikhailoh
Apr 23 2009, 07:09 AM
Blaming your farts on me.. not funny.. not funny at all!

Oh man, mine are delicate compared to the little kitty. The other night Mom actually put her outside cuz her's smelled so bad. Mind don't really smell, they just kind of pop out when I stretch or play bow. That makes Mom laugh.

Woof!

ps oh, and that thing Mr. Luke's Dad posted; it's true :D
Would somebody puleese throw the ball for me?
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Why dogs are better than women...

Dogs don't cry

Dogs love it when your friends come over

Dogs think you sing great

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink

Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs

Dogs don't notice if you call them another dog's name

Dogs are excited by rough play

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair

Anyone can get a good looking dog

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it

Dogs don't shop

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor

Dogs never need to examine the relationship

A dog's parents never visit

Dogs love long car trips

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions

When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it

Dogs like beer

Dogs don't hate their bodies

Dogs never criticize

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across

Dogs never expect gifts

Dogs don't worry about germs

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry

Dogs don't borrow your shirts

Dogs never want foot rubs

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk

The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:lol2: That's great... :lol2:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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