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| Dogs' 10 Peeves About Us | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 23 2009, 07:09 AM (204 Views) | |
| Mikhailoh | Apr 23 2009, 07:09 AM Post #1 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Blaming your farts on me.. not funny.. not funny at all! -------------------------------------------------- Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG! ----- --------------------------------------------- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? -------------------------------------------------- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it! -------------------------------------------------- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home. -------------------- ------------------------------ The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whooo Hooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. -------------------------------------------------- Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back! -------------------------------------------------- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. -------------------------------------------------- Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur? ------------------------------------------- ------- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous. -------------- --------------------------------- --- Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you? EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY. A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT! |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Luke's Dad | Apr 23 2009, 07:18 AM Post #2 |
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Emperor Pengin
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| The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it. | |
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| T3h B34r | Apr 23 2009, 07:19 AM Post #3 |
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Junior Carp
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WOOF!! *wag wag wag wag wag...* |
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O hai. I can haz big dinnerz? If you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away. (and leave big p00pz!) The Great Pyrenees | |
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| JBryan | Apr 23 2009, 07:21 AM Post #4 |
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I am the grey one
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Why aren't these called Dogs' Ten Pet Peeves About Us? |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| brenda | Apr 23 2009, 07:26 AM Post #5 |
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..............
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Love it! |
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“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.” ~A.A. Milne | |
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| Luke's Dad | Apr 23 2009, 07:32 AM Post #6 |
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Emperor Pengin
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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: Make me. Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . . Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeeky toys in the dark. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover.... Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there........ Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: First I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the question is, how long will it be before I can expect my light? Hound: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
| The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it. | |
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| T3h B34r | Apr 23 2009, 07:38 AM Post #7 |
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Junior Carp
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Light bulb? Yeah... Whatever. After I finish patrolling the entire neighborhood, making sure everyone's safe, examining all of the livestock and making sure they are safe and healthy, finding out what all of my buddies had for breakfast, drinking my daily half-gallon of water, having a snack, gnawing a rawhide to white paste, and taking a nice long nap, I might get to it. Cripes... No wonder I never listen to you. Imbecile, with your frivolous and unimportant demands! |
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O hai. I can haz big dinnerz? If you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it and walk away. (and leave big p00pz!) The Great Pyrenees | |
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| ScrewyLewie | Apr 23 2009, 07:41 AM Post #8 |
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Member
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Oh man, mine are delicate compared to the little kitty. The other night Mom actually put her outside cuz her's smelled so bad. Mind don't really smell, they just kind of pop out when I stretch or play bow. That makes Mom laugh. Woof! ps oh, and that thing Mr. Luke's Dad posted; it's true
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| Would somebody puleese throw the ball for me? | |
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| Luke's Dad | Apr 23 2009, 07:58 AM Post #9 |
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Emperor Pengin
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Why dogs are better than women... Dogs don't cry Dogs love it when your friends come over Dogs think you sing great A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs Dogs don't notice if you call them another dog's name Dogs are excited by rough play Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair Anyone can get a good looking dog If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it Dogs don't shop Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor Dogs never need to examine the relationship A dog's parents never visit Dogs love long car trips Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions When a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it Dogs like beer Dogs don't hate their bodies Dogs never criticize Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across Dogs never expect gifts Dogs don't worry about germs Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you've had Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day Dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry Dogs don't borrow your shirts Dogs never want foot rubs Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk |
| The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it. | |
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| Frank_W | Apr 23 2009, 08:07 AM Post #10 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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That's great...
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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