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Questions about Canada; prepare for the 2010 Winter Olympics
Topic Started: Apr 22 2009, 05:43 AM (136 Views)
big al
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Bull-Carp
Received in an e-mail today. An obvious rewrite of something that circulated concerning Australia a few years ago, but still funny (I think) if you haven't seen it before.

Quote:
 
Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some

questions people from all over the world are asking.



Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an

International Tourism Website.

-----------------------------------------------------------



Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants

grow(England)




A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them

die.



----------------------------------------------------------



Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA )



A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.



----------------------------------------------------



Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto -- can I follow the Railroad

tracks? ( Sweden )



A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.



--------------------------------------------------------



Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden )



A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.



-------------------------------------------------------



Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of

them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)



A: What, did your last slave die?



---------------------------------------------------------



Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? ( USA )



A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. ..

Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo

racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.



------------------------------------------------------



Q:Which direction is North in Canada? ( USA )



A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and

we'll send the rest of the directions.



-----------------------------------------------------



Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?( England )



A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do .



-------------------------------------------------------



Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )



A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which

is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in

Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.



-----------------------------------------------------



Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany )



A: No, WE don't stink



-----------------------------------------------------



Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can

I sell it in Canada? (USA )



A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



-----------------------------------------------------



Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female

population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )



A: Yes, gay nightclubs .



--------------------------------------------------------



Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? ( USA)



A: Only at Thanksgiving.



----------------------------------------------------------



Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?

( Germany )



A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is

illegal.



-----------------------------------------------------



Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its

name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )



A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains

of anyone walking close to them.

You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go

out walking.



-----------------------------------------------------



Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?(USA )





A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.



--------------------------------------------------------------------



Please send this on to any one who you think will enjoy it as much as I

did.



Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo and you can see Russia from

there.



Big Al
Location: Western PA

"jesu, der simcha fun der man's farlangen."
-bachophile
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
:lol:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:lol2: It seems my protege` is working for the Vancouver Tourism Board. :devilgrin:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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Riley
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HOLY CARP!!!
:doh:
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Here's the give away of them just rewording the Australian E-mail:

Quote:
 
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )



A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which

is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in

Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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sue
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HOLY CARP!!!
Quote:
 
in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

see, now this is obviously fake. You would never go without your cowboy hat while in Calgary.
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