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How to get over anger?
Topic Started: Feb 18 2009, 01:39 PM (758 Views)
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
After I stopped with the woman, and stopped talking with her, everything that happened became clear.

I just became very angry at the things that she did - and even at myself for allowing them to continue, all of the taking advantage, etc.

What's a healthy way to get over such feelings? Obviously calling her and telling her this won't help, so how do I find it within myself?
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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
Put her on suspension for 60 days.

It worked for us. :)
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Time and if you are so inclined, prayer. Prayer is remarkable at lifting things like this off your heart.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Renauda
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HOLY CARP!!!
Pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps through hard work. In time you'll come to the realization that it really didn't matter and the anger will pass.
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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
There's always booze and hookers. It's a tried and true cure.
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
a serious answer? Decide. Just take responsibility for your emotions and decide to stop feeling that way. You may have to do that repeatedly, but if you practice doing that, you will eventually accomplish it.
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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
DivaDeb
Feb 18 2009, 01:59 PM
a serious answer?
You are kind of ruining things, Deb.
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Moonbat
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Pisa-Carp
Sport.
Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
TomK
Feb 18 2009, 01:44 PM
Put her on suspension for 60 days.

It worked for us. :)
:lol2:
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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Carpe Diem
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Junior Carp
TomK
Feb 18 2009, 02:00 PM
DivaDeb
Feb 18 2009, 01:59 PM
a serious answer?
You are kind of ruining things, Deb.
It may be serious Tom, but she's so right.
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
TomK
Feb 18 2009, 01:57 PM
There's always booze and hookers. It's a tried and true cure.
It would just remind him of teh woman.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Improviso
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HOLY CARP!!!
Live well. It's the best revenge.

And it REALLY pi$$es them off.
Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
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Carpe Diem
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Junior Carp
Improviso
Feb 18 2009, 02:08 PM
Live well. It's the best revenge.

And it REALLY pi$$es them off.
:lol2:
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apple
one of the angels
Deb is right.. take charge..

simply be unreactive. things happen and then you move on, hopefully the better for the experience.

(i always used to bike a thousand miles when i was incensed.. i'd come home exhausted.)
it behooves me to behold
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Kincaid
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HOLY CARP!!!
Funny, I was just discussing this exact issue (almost the same words) with my almost 11-year-old twins last night. To add to what Deb and Apple said, I say you need to come to a realization that anger only damages you more if you hold onto it. You need to realize that and just let it go. I think they call it forgiveness. Works wonders. And the cool thing is, you don't need to (and shouldn't in your case) tell teh woman that you forgive her. Just do it and move on. If you hold onto your anger, she still has her grip on you and you'll not be free.
Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006.
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MobutuMbwawe
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Junior Carp
Renauda
Feb 18 2009, 01:54 PM
Pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps through hard work
This might work (WOMEN DO NOT CLICK ON THIS - YOU'LL GO BLIND !!!!!
Posted Image

Unlicensed sock
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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
^^^^^^Nasty.
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
Now I have seen it all.
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Phlebas
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Bull-Carp
I have a slightly different take on it.

If I've been wronged in anyway, I feel that the person who wronged me should not get away with it - if at all possible. Otherwise, I won't feel right about myself, and anger/bad feelings will not be resolved.

If I were in Crash's shoes - was smitten by someone, tried to help them out, that person took advantage of me - I would not be able to let it go unless I told the person exactly how I felt.

At that point, I could let it go, and forgive.

I would feel very angry toward myself if I let someone treat me like dirt, and i did nothing about it.
Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML

The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D


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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
I saw someone last year for a few months for some...issues. I tend to perseverate over issues, and it can really mess me up. Finally she gave me this advice: Look. This has happened. You know about it. You can't change it. But what you can do is decide not to think about it RIGHT NOW. I'm not saying that you have to never think about it again, but when you start to feel angry or upset, and your mind turns to that subject just tell yourself (out loud if you have to) "I do not have to think about this".

It sounds so hokey, but it worked. And trust me - I tend to hold on to things and stew over them FOREVER. But every time I find my mind turning to the subject, I think, "No. I'm not going to think about this right now. I'll think about it tomorrow, but not right now." And I get up and do something else. It actually works.
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
Phlebas
Feb 18 2009, 02:40 PM


If I were in Crash's shoes - was smitten by someone, tried to help them out, that person took advantage of me - I would not be able to let it go unless I told the person exactly how I felt.

At that point, I could let it go, and forgive.

I would feel very angry toward myself if I let someone treat me like dirt, and i did nothing about it.
Do you think Crash is telling you the whole truth? There's probably another side to this story where the girl is telling her friends what a nasty guy Crash is. We banned him--so that's what we thought of him--Imagine what he did to her for her to dump him.

It makes sense--would YOU date Crash?
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Any woman faced with a guy who is so codependent that he obsesses to the level Crash does is going to run as far in the other direction as she can go. Even if she had thought she was madly in love with him at first, I figure it would take about two weeks of his psychosis to drive away the most desperate woman out there...
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Renauda
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HOLY CARP!!!
MobutuMbwawe
Feb 18 2009, 02:19 PM
Renauda
Feb 18 2009, 01:54 PM
Pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps through hard work
This might work (WOMEN DO NOT CLICK ON THIS - YOU'LL GO BLIND !!!!!
I said bootstraps you dolt, not foreskin.
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Phlebas
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Bull-Carp
TomK
Feb 18 2009, 03:16 PM
Phlebas
Feb 18 2009, 02:40 PM


If I were in Crash's shoes - was smitten by someone, tried to help them out, that person took advantage of me - I would not be able to let it go unless I told the person exactly how I felt.

At that point, I could let it go, and forgive.

I would feel very angry toward myself if I let someone treat me like dirt, and i did nothing about it.
Do you think Crash is telling you the whole truth? There's probably another side to this story where the girl is telling her friends what a nasty guy Crash is. We banned him--so that's what we thought of him--Imagine what he did to her for her to dump him.

It makes sense--would YOU date Crash?
I'm not sure what the truth is. I was mostly reacting to the "forgive," and "decide not to be angry" advice. I agree with that up to a point, but if someone's treated me like crap, I can decide not to be angry just fine - after I let them know what I think of them.
Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML

The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D


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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
A line from Tennessee Williams' play, The Glass Menagerie, sticks in my head.

"Time is the greatest distance between two places."
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