| Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| An Irish Boy's Confession | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 26 2009, 01:52 PM (162 Views) | |
| jon-nyc | Jan 26 2009, 01:52 PM Post #1 |
|
Cheers
|
an oldie but goodie... An IRISH BOY'S CONFESSION... This could only happen with a little Catholic Irish kid... 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Timmy Callahan?' 'Uhh, yes Father, it is.' 'And who was the little girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation' 'Well, now Timmy, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.' 'Was it Mary Ryan?' 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Heather McShane?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Colleen Daly?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Dana Maquire?' 'My lips are sealed.' 'Was it Cathleen O'Neill, then?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Timmy Callahan, and I admire that. But you've sinned and now ye have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go on and behave yourself.' Timmy walks back to his pew, and his friend Patrick slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' "4 months vacation, and five good leads!!" |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
![]() |
|
| Frank_W | Jan 26 2009, 01:55 PM Post #2 |
![]()
Resident Misanthrope
|
|
|
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
![]() |
|
| sue | Jan 26 2009, 02:01 PM Post #3 |
|
HOLY CARP!!!
|
Brilliant
|
![]() |
|
| Larry | Jan 26 2009, 03:04 PM Post #4 |
![]()
Mmmmmmm, pie!
|
An old priest had been trying to get a local hooker named Cooter Greene to start coming to church. One Sunday a woman came to church who wasn't a regular, dressed like a 20 dollar hooker, walked to the front row, sat down, and her knees were open. She had nothing on underneath, and it was showing. The old priest had bad eyesight, so he asked one of the alter boys who was standing there stunned into silence..... "Son, is that Cooter Greene?" The boy said "No, Father. I think that's just the way the light is reflecting off the carpet.." |
|
Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
![]() |
|
| Frank_W | Jan 26 2009, 03:07 PM Post #5 |
![]()
Resident Misanthrope
|
|
|
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
![]() |
|
| sue | Jan 26 2009, 03:17 PM Post #6 |
|
HOLY CARP!!!
|
|
![]() |
|
| Larry | Jan 26 2009, 04:02 PM Post #7 |
![]()
Mmmmmmm, pie!
|
|
|
Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
![]() |
|
| Frank_W | Jan 26 2009, 04:08 PM Post #8 |
![]()
Resident Misanthrope
|
Man... Hate it when that happens!
|
|
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
![]() |
|
| Larry | Jan 26 2009, 04:10 PM Post #9 |
![]()
Mmmmmmm, pie!
|
|
|
Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
![]() |
|
| Larry | Jan 26 2009, 04:16 PM Post #10 |
![]()
Mmmmmmm, pie!
|
|
|
Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
![]() |
|
| Mikhailoh | Jan 27 2009, 04:54 AM Post #11 |
|
If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
|
The Brothers Goldberg The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed. Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for about two hours, and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown. And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. |
|
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
![]() |
|
|
|
| « Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic » |









8:43 AM Jul 13