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A To-Don't List for Conservatives
Topic Started: Jan 21 2009, 04:44 AM (537 Views)
George K
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Finally
My “To Don’t” List for the Right
by Andy Levy

The only thing worse than bad winners are sore losers, and we’ve had enough of them for the past eight years. So with that in mind, in the wake of today’s historic inauguration, here’s my Handbook For The Loyal Opposition, 2009 edition - a “To Don’t List,” if you will. Or even if you won’t.

DON’T question the motives - question the policy. When you disagree with Obama’s policies, say so, and make it clear why. But remember that President Obama is doing what he thinks is best for the country, as President Bush did. Both men love America and want what’s best for her. End of story.

DON’T make it personal. We don’t need another Derangement Syndrome. We don’t need people doing things like emphasizing Obama’s middle name in a derogatory fashion. How anyone would think that’s beneficial to their cause, or to the country as a whole, is beyond me. Also, it’s not even clever. Neither are smushwords like Bu****ler, or sillywords like Rethuglicans and Dhimmicrats.

DON’T cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots. Sean Penn is an ass. No reason to be like him. ‘Nuff said. (Corollary: Don’t cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots and then act outraged when people question your patriotism.)

DON’T pretend you’re being brave when you criticize your government. Not while people in other countries actually, y’know, DIE, when they do that.

DON’T use the word “divisive.” At this point, all that word means is “You disagree with me,” and the English language gets mangled enough these days.

DON’T use the phrase “speaking truth to power.” EVER.

DON’T move to Canada.

DON’T say you’re going to move to Canada and then stay here. (I know it’s too late for Stephen Baldwin, but not for the rest of you.)

DON’T apologize to foreigners and say things to them like, “I didn’t vote for Obama,” or “He’s not MY president.”

DON’T say or do everything in your power to drive this country apart and then claim you want unity when it’s your guy in power. This is like the convicted felon who conveniently finds God when he’s up for parole.

DON’T call people un-American one week, and then talk about how “We are not blue states or red states, we are the United States” the next. (This rule may only apply to Tom Hanks, but I put it in just to be safe.)

DON’T automatically think people who disagree with you are stupid or evil. Some of them are, of course. But most of them aren’t, and you might actually learn something if you listen to them.

And finally, DON’T use the fact that many on the left behaved abominably for the past eight years as an excuse to behave the same way. America needs adults. And if it bothered you when they did it, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t do it.
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Red Rice
HOLY CARP!!!
So I should probably send back my "Liberalism is a Mental Disorder" T-shirt, right? :(
Civilisation, I vaguely realized then - and subsequent observation has confirmed the view - could not progress that way. It must have a greater guiding principle to survive. To treat it as a carcase off which each man tears as much as he can for himself, is to stand convicted a brute, fit for nothing better than a jungle existence, which is a death-struggle, leading nowhither. I did not believe that was the human destiny, for Man individually was sane and reasonable, only collectively a fool.

I hope the gunner of that Hun two-seater shot him clean, bullet to heart, and that his plane, on fire, fell like a meteor through the sky he loved. Since he had to end, I hope he ended so. But, oh, the waste! The loss!

- Cecil Lewis
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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
That last one... the catch-all.
Quote:
 
nd finally, DON’T use the fact that many on the left behaved abominably for the past eight years as an excuse to behave the same way. America needs adults. And if it bothered you when they did it, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t do it.


Even thought they are STILL behaving abominably, with the one-finger salute to Bush.



Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Improviso
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HOLY CARP!!!
Dear Andy,

As a good conservative, I pledge to *try* to abide by your Don't-do list. But I can tell you, it won't be easy. Because deep down, I really would like to act just as childish as I witnessed the left behave for the last 8 years. I will strive to take the high road, but if I slip into the gutter once in a while, please understand it is only due to witnessing this kind of behaviour over and over and over again. Why, even at the dawn of a new beginning, they can't let it go. Just yesterday, I witnessed one demented leftie say and I quote, "he's lucky he's not before a firing squad as a convicted war criminal". After recovering from the thought of wanting to wipe the streets of every city in this great land with her face, I calmed down and settled for an offer of paying for a one way ticket out of the country. I know... I know, Andy, it's not perfect. It will take me some time to undo the ingrained behaviorial attitude I witnessed for soon many years from the left.

Oh and Andy, while I've got your ear, I've two questions you didn't give guidance for in your Don't-Do list. 1) Is it OK to say, "There! Now we've got a better idiot" and 2) May we refer to the great "O" as "Obie"?
Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Quote:
 
it is only due to witnessing this kind of behaviour over and over and over again.


I KNEW IT!

You managed to cover it up for years, but I knew it would sneak out someday.

YOU'RE A BRIT!
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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Improviso
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HOLY CARP!!!
I've been reading WAY too many of Doh's posts. :redface:

:D
Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Improviso
Jan 21 2009, 05:22 AM
Dear Andy,

As a good conservative, I pledge to *try* to abide by your Don't-do list. But I can tell you, it won't be easy. Because deep down, I really would like to act just as childish as I witnessed the left behave for the last 8 years. I will strive to take the high road, but if I slip into the gutter once in a while, please understand it is only due to witnessing this kind of behaviour over and over and over again. Why, even at the dawn of a new beginning, they can't let it go. Just yesterday, I witnessed one demented leftie say and I quote, "he's lucky he's not before a firing squad as a convicted war criminal". After recovering from the thought of wanting to wipe the streets of every city in this great land with her face, I calmed down and settled for an offer of paying for a one way ticket out of the country. I know... I know, Andy, it's not perfect. It will take me some time to undo the ingrained behaviorial attitude I witnessed for soon many years from the left.

Oh and Andy, while I've got your ear, I've two questions you didn't give guidance for in your Don't-Do list. 1) Is it OK to say, "There! Now we've got a better idiot" and 2) May we refer to the great "O" as "Obie"?
Yeah, indeed. "Lookit what those other kids are doing" is a perfectly legit excuse for obnoxious remarks. :rolleyes:

You know, both sides have their assholes. Both of them do. And in as far as I can tell, equal proportion. Same goes for the number of objective supporters. I think warming up to that idea and not letting the jerks spread their agitation would help a lot of people on both sides. And IMHO, always pointing out how much more reserved/fair-minded/awesome one is compared to that other crowd doesn't really offer the support the speaker thinks it does.

As for the list, I didn't like this part:
Quote:
 
DON’T apologize to foreigners and say things to them like, “I didn’t vote for Obama,” or “He’s not MY president.”


I think it's perfectly legit to mention that you voted for the other guy when discussing politics to foreigners. But I'll be tarred if I'm going to apologize to them for who our president is, though. We could have ushered in President Mickey Mouse for all I care, it's our election and not theirs. They can moan all they want but since they didn't vote, well...
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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brenda
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..............
Love your letter, Improv.

Will you be performing all week, or are you headed to Scranton next? :D
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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Improviso
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HOLY CARP!!!
:D :smooch:
Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
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Renauda
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HOLY CARP!!!
Aqua Letifer
Jan 21 2009, 07:50 AM
But I'll be tarred if I'm going to apologize to them for who our president is, though. We could have ushered in President Mickey Mouse for all I care, it's our election and not theirs. They can moan all they want but since they didn't vote, well...
No foreigner expects you to apologize for anything providing you recognize their right to moan and protest how US policies sometimes adversely affect their country's economic or even political well being. And yes while they [foreigners] did not vote in the US elections, they are nevertheless consequential stakeholders as a result of US mega-power policy making.
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
It's not a bad list, although I don't think it would occur to me in a squintillion years to use politics as an excuse to act like a petulant 2 year old.

I'll save that for when you drive slow in the fast lane
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Quote:
 
You know, both sides have their assholes. Both of them do. And in as far as I can tell, equal proportion. Same goes for the number of objective supporters.


Somehow, some way, you will always manage to never, ever take a stand for anything....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Larry
Jan 21 2009, 08:19 AM
Somehow, some way, you will always manage to never, ever take a stand for anything....
That's because it's often the stupid thing to do.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Kincaid
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HOLY CARP!!!
George K
Jan 21 2009, 04:44 AM
DON’T use the word “divisive.” At this point, all that word means is “You disagree with me,” and the English language gets mangled enough these days.
This one will be my downfall. When Diane Feinstein gets up and says that the Republicans need to fall in line and support Obama's agenda - and states that the Republicans are trying to divide the country and that Obama is a uniter, a vein in my forehead is surely going to pop.
Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006.
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Axtremus
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HOLY CARP!!!
Don't say "To-Don't".
Say "Not To Do."
GWB has moved on, you can speak proper English now.
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Axtremus
Jan 21 2009, 09:08 AM
Don't say "To-Don't".
Say "Not To Do."
GWB has moved on, you can are permitted to speak proper English now.
I fixed it for you.

Whether they "can" speak proper English remains an open question.

:sombrero:
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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Mark
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HOLY CARP!!!
How about...

Do not continue to govern through irrational fear and lies.

Do not continue to think the world is our enemy and that we need to engage it in perpetual wars.

Do not continue to enact the largest entitlement spending programs in the history of our country.

Do not continue to erode the rights of the people.

Do not continue to act like socialist democrats. You really suck at it.

Do not continue to treat your leaders like kings who are divine in purpose and can do no wrong.

That would do for a start.

___.___
(_]===*
o 0
When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Mark
Jan 21 2009, 09:29 AM

Do not continue to act like socialist democrats. You really suck at it.



Actually, according to what you've said in the past, they don't suck at it, they're quite good at it. :hat:
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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Phlebas
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Bull-Carp
Larry
Jan 21 2009, 08:19 AM
Quote:
 
You know, both sides have their assholes. Both of them do. And in as far as I can tell, equal proportion. Same goes for the number of objective supporters.


Somehow, some way, you will always manage to never, ever take a stand for anything....
AL is actually correct on this.

Also, he does take a passionate stand on lots of things:
- environment
- downloading music
- not having to get to know his co-workers......

Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML

The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D


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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Phlebas
Jan 21 2009, 10:02 AM
AL is actually correct on this.

Also, he does take a passionate stand on lots of things:
- environment
- downloading music
- not having to get to know his co-workers......

That's a rather strange (but accurate) list of hot button issues, Phlebas. :lol:

I further reinforced Directive 3 today by making a false claim that I did not have a dime to spare a co-worker of mine for the vending machine, when I did in fact have not one, but two spares in my pocket!
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Improviso
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HOLY CARP!!!
Kincaid
Jan 21 2009, 09:03 AM
George K
Jan 21 2009, 04:44 AM
DON’T use the word “divisive.” At this point, all that word means is “You disagree with me,” and the English language gets mangled enough these days.
This one will be my downfall. When Diane Feinstein gets up and says that the Republicans need to fall in line and support Obama's agenda - and states that the Republicans are trying to divide the country and that Obama is a uniter, a vein in my forehead is surely going to pop.
Kincaid...

Don't know if you saw this yesterday on the tube. Don't know the exact circumstances, but Obama was sitting at a desk signing some stuff. Feinstein was standing to his left (right on the TV screen). Microphones were open. And she says something to the effect, "My, you certainly have a handsome signature."

I thought I was gonna lose my lunch. What a suck-up.
Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
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JBryan
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I am the grey one
She was speaking in code. He was actually showing her something under his desk.
"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne


There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it".


Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

From The Lion in Winter.
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Phlebas
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Bull-Carp
Aqua Letifer
Jan 21 2009, 10:06 AM


I further reinforced Directive 3 today by making a false claim that I did not have a dime to spare a co-worker of mine for the vending machine, when I did in fact have not one, but two spares in my pocket!
You're supposed to take them out of your pocket. Look at them, so the other guy sees, and say "uhh....no. sorry i don't."

You have much to learn.
Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML

The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D


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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Phlebas
Jan 21 2009, 10:28 AM
Aqua Letifer
Jan 21 2009, 10:06 AM




You have much to learn.
Now there is the understatement of the year, so far. :whome:
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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Kincaid
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HOLY CARP!!!
Improviso
Jan 21 2009, 10:25 AM
Kincaid
Jan 21 2009, 09:03 AM
George K
Jan 21 2009, 04:44 AM
DON’T use the word “divisive.” At this point, all that word means is “You disagree with me,” and the English language gets mangled enough these days.
This one will be my downfall. When Diane Feinstein gets up and says that the Republicans need to fall in line and support Obama's agenda - and states that the Republicans are trying to divide the country and that Obama is a uniter, a vein in my forehead is surely going to pop.
Kincaid...

Don't know if you saw this yesterday on the tube. Don't know the exact circumstances, but Obama was sitting at a desk signing some stuff. Feinstein was standing to his left (right on the TV screen). Microphones were open. And she says something to the effect, "My, you certainly have a handsome signature."

I thought I was gonna lose my lunch. What a suck-up.
I hope I can take four years of this. The only cure will be if Obama adopts some position that the liberal side hates. (A turnaround on Gitmo would be a great start!). Otherwise, an unabated love fest will certainly make me flip out.
Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006.
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