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| Leaving Texas | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 12 2009, 10:48 AM (336 Views) | |
| George K | Jan 12 2009, 10:48 AM Post #1 |
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Finally
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THE COUNTRY OF TEXAS Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.) We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action since B. Hussein Obama won the election. We'll miss you too. Here is what can happen: #1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States , Texas immediately secedes from the Union . #2: George W. Bush will become the President of the Republic of Texas . So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? 1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space industry. 2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States . 3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas ," will take on a whole new meaning. 4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that. 5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry will have to figure out a way to keep them warm.... 6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications--small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. 7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas has some of the best hospitals in the United States . 8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston , Baylor, UNT ( University of North Texas ), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway. 9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border when we need some more. 10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. 11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers. 12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes. You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming. Signed, The People of Texas P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about! SLEEP WELL TONIGHT THE EYES OF TEXAS ARE UPON YOU!! One Nation Under God |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Jan 12 2009, 10:53 AM Post #2 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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Thought those jackasses would never leave.
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| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| jon-nyc | Jan 12 2009, 11:06 AM Post #3 |
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Cheers
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The line about oil is probably not true. Texas is almost 40 years past its peak production, they produce ~1MM barrels per day. I don't know what their consumption is, but if the US consumes ~20MM bpd, you gotta figure that Texas consumes more than 5% of that considering its population. |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| John D'Oh | Jan 12 2009, 11:28 AM Post #4 |
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MAMIL
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Don't tempt me. |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| Mark | Jan 12 2009, 11:59 AM Post #5 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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They only produce that amount of oil because of the price. There's plenty of oil in Texas. |
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___.___ (_]===* o 0 When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells | |
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| jon-nyc | Jan 12 2009, 12:11 PM Post #6 |
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Cheers
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No, they really did peak in 1972. They just barely hit 1MM barrels in 2008 despite record oil prices. No one was holding anything back at $157/bbl. They still have reserves, but don't confuse reserves with production - you cannot will it out of the ground at arbitrarily large quantities. |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| Luke's Dad | Jan 12 2009, 12:17 PM Post #7 |
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Emperor Pengin
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Yeah, but there would be plenty of immigrants coming from red states to provide the manpower, and as the republicans are for the stinking rich, they'll have plenty of finances to open new wells.
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| The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it. | |
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| Red Rice | Jan 12 2009, 12:20 PM Post #8 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Or those immigrants could be a plentiful source of biodiesel.
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Civilisation, I vaguely realized then - and subsequent observation has confirmed the view - could not progress that way. It must have a greater guiding principle to survive. To treat it as a carcase off which each man tears as much as he can for himself, is to stand convicted a brute, fit for nothing better than a jungle existence, which is a death-struggle, leading nowhither. I did not believe that was the human destiny, for Man individually was sane and reasonable, only collectively a fool. I hope the gunner of that Hun two-seater shot him clean, bullet to heart, and that his plane, on fire, fell like a meteor through the sky he loved. Since he had to end, I hope he ended so. But, oh, the waste! The loss! - Cecil Lewis | |
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| Improviso | Jan 12 2009, 12:23 PM Post #9 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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May I immigrate to Texas? I do a pretty good "Yippee Ki A Mutha' F#$k", if I do say so myself. Oh yea... "Remember the Alamo!"
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| PattyP | Jan 13 2009, 05:46 AM Post #10 |
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Senior Carp
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I have a five-year plan to move to Texas. Actually, it's down to about four years and 4 months now. As soon as I finish my schooling here in Michigan and get a year of experience in my new field I'm leaving the cold and snow of Michigan (though I do love the heat and humidity of the summer). I’m gonna pack up my belongings, load the dog in the Jetta and head fer Texas! Yee haw, y'all!! |
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A tired dog is a good dog. "Dogs' lives are too short...their only fault, really." A.S. Turnbull | |
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| Mikhailoh | Jan 13 2009, 05:55 AM Post #11 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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You'll get plenty of heat and humidity in Texas, not to worry. Actually Janet and I would like to retire around Canyon Lake outside Austin. Great place. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| jon-nyc | Jan 13 2009, 06:02 AM Post #12 |
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Cheers
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Mik - I thought you wanted a condo in Chitown? |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| Mikhailoh | Jan 13 2009, 06:08 AM Post #13 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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That's first, but we won't want to stay in the cold forever. Three to five years in Chicago. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| jon-nyc | Jan 13 2009, 06:37 AM Post #14 |
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Cheers
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You could be snowbirds, and live in Chicago in the warm months and Austin in the winter. |
| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| Mikhailoh | Jan 13 2009, 06:39 AM Post #15 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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That's possible, for sure. |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Ben | Jan 13 2009, 10:08 PM Post #16 |
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Senior Carp
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If you want heat and humidity, Houston is the place for you! I live and have grown up in a suburb about 30 miles north of Downtown Houston called The Woodlands. It's a great place, beautiful, over 100 parks and less than 100,000 people. You should check out www.thewoodlands.com if you're interested
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- Ben "Playing 'bop' is like playing Scrabble with all the vowels missing." - Duke Ellington bennieloohoo@gmail.com Or you can just PM me.
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| PattyP | Jan 14 2009, 06:40 AM Post #17 |
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Senior Carp
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Ben, The DFW area is my destination. My entire family has moved to Aubrey and lives in Savannah, a Huffines community. Isn't the Woodlands a Huffines community also? Savannah seems to be a really nice place, very family oriented. I'm just going to have to adjust to the houses being so close to each other. I'm a rural/small-town girl and even in the city limits we have decent sized yards. Maybe I can get a place on a corner or at the end of a cul-da-sac (sp) so I won't feel so hemmed in. I'd LOVE to visit the Houston ASPCA and the Animal Cops. I'm schooling for my new second career as a Veterinary Technician. I LIVE for Animal Planet's "Animal Cops" and "E-Vets". edit: I just looked at the Woodlands web site. Wow! It's an entire community unto itself with most everything you could possibly want. I don't think I could afford to live in The Woodlands on a VT's salary. Savannah is more like a subdivision on steriods with some nice recreational facilities and planned activities.
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A tired dog is a good dog. "Dogs' lives are too short...their only fault, really." A.S. Turnbull | |
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Savannah is more like a subdivision on steriods with some nice recreational facilities and planned activities.
4:32 PM Jul 10