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A Life of Celibacy
Topic Started: Dec 17 2008, 02:10 PM (155 Views)
George K
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Finally
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition
imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Encounter weekend, Roy
and his wife Charlotte listened to the instructor
declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives
know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe
your wife's favorite flower?"

Roy leaned over, touched Charlotte's arm gently and
whispered, "It's Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

And thus began Roy 's life of celibacy.
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:lol2:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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brenda
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..............
Little Ole and the Stork
Little Ole was sitting at the kitchen table doing his school homework. He had a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing an essay about his origin. He turned to question his mother. "Mama, vere did Grandma come from?" he asked. "Da stork brought her," answered mama Lena. "And vere did yew come from?" asked Little Ole. "Da stork brought me," his mother answered. "And vere did I come from?" Little Ole inquired. "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," mama Lena replied. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been no natural births in our family for three yenerations."

“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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brenda
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..............
The Relations
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex relations?" he asked. "Vell, Ole, I yust don't know," replied Lena. "I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas."

“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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brenda
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..............
Chatter
LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over.
TINA: Did your teeth chatter?
LENA: I don't know...we haven't slept togedder for years.

“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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brenda
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..............
Girls aren't friendly
So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?"
"Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that would help."

---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you told me with the potato, but it doesn't help."

"No, Sven --- you're supposed to put the potato in the front."

“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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brenda
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..............
Deathbed Request
Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". "Why Sven Svenson?" his wife asked. "You've hated him all of your life!" "Still do," gasped Ole.

“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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brenda
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..............
OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." So Ole drove to Duluth.
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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blondie
Bull-Carp
Brenda dear,
You & George need to get a room ...
;) :D
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brenda
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..............
No, my jokes are too tame for Larry.

Welcome back, blondie! Merry Christmas to you.
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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blondie
Bull-Carp
I edited Brenda.
George is beginning to story-talk like Larry.
That, or I've had too much egg nog :D .....

...just lurking mainly ...
Seasons' Greetings to you too . :)
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brenda
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..............
So all it took was some Ole and Lena jokes to bring you back, blondie??

Had I known, I would have posted some before now. :lol2:

My jokes are too tame for George, too.
“Weeds are flowers, too, once you get to know them.”
~A.A. Milne
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blondie
Bull-Carp
No. Brenda, this place is more like an Eagles song ....
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
�relax,� said the night man,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!

Say no more. I'm vintage, from the mother-ship. :)
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