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| Simple Home Remedies - and a thought | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 19 2008, 05:32 PM (120 Views) | |
| George K | Nov 19 2008, 05:32 PM Post #1 |
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Finally
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Amazingly simple home remedies Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: everyone seems normal until you get to know them. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies; not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Frank_W | Nov 19 2008, 05:38 PM Post #2 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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If you get an ice cube lodged in your throat, swallow a cup of boiling water. It will melt the ice. |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| JBryan | Nov 19 2008, 06:24 PM Post #3 |
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I am the grey one
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Some really great ideas! |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| jon-nyc | Nov 20 2008, 02:06 AM Post #4 |
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Cheers
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| In my defense, I was left unsupervised. | |
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| RosemaryTwo | Nov 20 2008, 05:53 AM Post #5 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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These are so much more meaningful coming from a doctor. Thanks, George. |
| "Perhaps the thing to do is just to let stupid run its course." Aqua | |
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| apple | Nov 20 2008, 06:13 AM Post #6 |
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one of the angels
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"For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer" how long? |
| it behooves me to behold | |
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| Frank_W | Nov 20 2008, 06:53 AM Post #7 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Depends on how deep you cut.
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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4:25 PM Jul 10