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Strange Emotional Reaction; What's up with this?
Topic Started: Nov 18 2008, 02:57 PM (262 Views)
dolmansaxlil
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
I'm doing a truly mindless task at work. Remember back in school filling out scantron sheets? Remember how specific they are about the instructions? #2 pencil, fill in the bubbles completely, don't doodle on the page?

Now imagine grade 4 students (9 year olds) taking these. Needless to say, they don't all fill in the bubbles so well, and they DO doodle on the page.

There are 1400 of these that we have to send away for scoring. And beforee we send them, we (meaning I) have to go through each and every test to make sure that the bubbles are dark enough and stray marks are erased.

I think this is a complete waste of my time, and when I spend an entire day working on these I get bizarrely emotional. On the verge of tears for no apparent reason - I'm just a mess. I'm sitting here watching an episode of The West Wing that I've seen a million times, and I'm bawling my eyes out. And it's not a particularly emotional episode to begin with.

So strange.
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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blondie
Bull-Carp
A Bubble Bath,
With Tequila.
:)



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JoeB
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Senior Carp
You are missing the whole point of the exercise. Your school (and you) will be graded on the results of the test. You have been given an opportunity to help your school (and you) look better. Hardly a waste of your time. Didn't you get the (burn after reading) memo?
"There are many ingredients in the stew of annoyance." - Bucky Katt
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kenny
HOLY CARP!!!
There must be something there just under the surface.
I'd pay close attention when something is trying to bubble up from the unconscious.
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Luke's Dad
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Emperor Pengin
Hmmmm, I don't know that I would try to spend too much attention to it if it is something coming up from the subconscious. Often that just drives it further away, if there is something there.

Could it just be the season? This is the time of year for a good melancholy to settle in.
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
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RosemaryTwo
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HOLY CARP!!!
Sounds like a long, strange day. One's mind goes a bit weird without a lot of contact with the outside world.

That's why I visit here....
"Perhaps the thing to do is just to let stupid run its course." Aqua
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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
Oh - it's not under the surface. I've informed by supervisor that if this doesn't change before next year, I will be asking for a transfer back to the classroom. It takes a MONTH to do this. They're paying me a ridiculous amount of money to darken/erase pencil marks. For this time, I'm doing nothing with or for kids. And I won't do it again. Luckily, my supervisor also thinks it's ludicrous, and so I know I won't have to do it next year, but the reaction is still there.
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:hug: :(

Hang in there, Dol.

If I may share a story of my own: I was taking piano lessons with my first teacher. I'd desperately wanted piano lessons all my life, and as a kid, there was no way my parents could have afforded lessons, let alone, a piano, so at long last, I had my chance! :) I was excited and plunged in, and gave it my all. About ten weeks into it, I was sitting and practicing one day, laboring over, "Pop Goes The Weasel." It wasn't even a particularly melodic or interesting version. I kept going over it and going over it, when suddenly, I stood up, backhanded all of the music off of the rack, and stomped out of the room with tears in my eyes and shouted a string of expletives.

What the hell? Music has been everything to me, all my life!! Something was DEFINITELY amiss!

It took me a while to sort out in my consciousness, but I realized a few things:

1. I wasn't doing what I wanted to do.

2. I wasn't working on something that I enjoyed, and i found it tedious and dull.

3. I wasn't making one bit of progress towards what I really wanted to do.

4. I realized that the instructor who was supposed to be guiding me, really didn't have my best interests at heart. Her own comfort zone in her teaching method was of greater importance.

5. I realized that if things didn't change, or if I didn't quit, that it was going to completely undermine and crush my passion and dedication.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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Kincaid
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HOLY CARP!!!
blondie
Nov 18 2008, 03:02 PM
A Bubble Bath,
With Tequila.
:)



Don't say "bubble".

What Dol really needs is a long, hot *soak*.
Kincaid - disgusted Republican Partisan since 2006.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:lol2: Good one, Kincaid.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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blondie
Bull-Carp
Yup. Such wit. Mr. Kincaid is in classic form.

Hope things are seeming a bit better now Dol. 'Hate to see ya this way.
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Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
dolmansaxlil
Nov 18 2008, 02:57 PM
I'm doing a truly mindless task at work. Remember back in school filling out scantron sheets? Remember how specific they are about the instructions? #2 pencil, fill in the bubbles completely, don't doodle on the page?

Now imagine grade 4 students (9 year olds) taking these. Needless to say, they don't all fill in the bubbles so well, and they DO doodle on the page.

There are 1400 of these that we have to send away for scoring. And beforee we send them, we (meaning I) have to go through each and every test to make sure that the bubbles are dark enough and stray marks are erased.

I think this is a complete waste of my time, and when I spend an entire day working on these I get bizarrely emotional. On the verge of tears for no apparent reason - I'm just a mess. I'm sitting here watching an episode of The West Wing that I've seen a million times, and I'm bawling my eyes out. And it's not a particularly emotional episode to begin with.

So strange.
So don't do such a good job.

Hit the obvious ones, and motor on...
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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dolmansaxlil
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HOLY CARP!!!
Sigh. The problem is that we are charged extra for every one that they have to fix at the test scoring site. And it's PRICEY. Since it comes out of our already stretched budget (which we'd much rather spend on programming and supplies for our kids!) we do this. Next year, it sounds like our supervisor is going to pull a few of the secretaries at the board office to do it for us (yay!).
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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dolmansaxlil
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Kincaid
Nov 18 2008, 04:52 PM
blondie
Nov 18 2008, 03:02 PM
A Bubble Bath,
With Tequila.
:)



Don't say "bubble".

What Dol really needs is a long, hot *soak*.
*snicker
"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Flickr Photostream


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