| Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| weapons of math disruption | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 5 2008, 09:59 AM (593 Views) | |
| pianojerome | Oct 5 2008, 09:59 AM Post #1 |
|
HOLY CARP!!!
|
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9 . Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.' 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 21. A backward poet writes inverse. 22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects! |
| Sam | |
![]() |
|
| George K | Oct 5 2008, 10:00 AM Post #2 |
|
Finally
|
She was only the stable hand's daughter, but all the horsemen knew her. (say it fast) |
|
A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
![]() |
|
| Qaanaaq-Liaaq | Oct 5 2008, 12:37 PM Post #3 |
![]()
Senior Carp
|
Anyone who rakes cement with a pitch fork is a mortar forker. (Say it quickly). I'm Qaanaaq-Liaaq and I approved this message. Me Qaanaaq, you NOT. |
![]() |
|
| ivorythumper | Oct 5 2008, 02:56 PM Post #4 |
|
I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
|
Did you hear about the stewardess who back into the propeller? Disaster. |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
![]() |
|
| Dewey | Oct 5 2008, 03:11 PM Post #5 |
![]()
HOLY CARP!!!
|
This is the Curtis-Wright XP-55, a prototype fighter built in the 1940's. It featured a canard design, with a pusher-type engine mounted at the rear end of the fuselage. Someone at Curtis-Wright had a sense of humor - the plane's more common name? The Ascender.
|
|
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685. "Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous "Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011 I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14 | |
![]() |
|
| George K | Oct 5 2008, 03:25 PM Post #6 |
|
Finally
|
(Panera) French onion soup all over my desk. Thanks, Dewey. Thanks a lot. |
|
A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
![]() |
|
| Dewey | Oct 5 2008, 04:17 PM Post #7 |
![]()
HOLY CARP!!!
|
Next time, go for the Broccoli & Cheddar; it's beddar...
|
|
"By nature, i prefer brevity." - John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, p. 685. "Never waste your time trying to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Anonymous "Oh sure, every once in a while a turd floated by, but other than that it was just fine." - Joe A., 2011 I'll answer your other comments later, but my primary priority for the rest of the evening is to get drunk." - Klaus, 12/31/14 | |
![]() |
|
| Frank_W | Oct 6 2008, 07:37 AM Post #8 |
![]()
Resident Misanthrope
|
|
|
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
![]() |
|
| George K | Oct 6 2008, 02:30 PM Post #9 |
|
Finally
|
Did you hear about the musician lumberjack who would yell timbre? |
|
A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
![]() |
|
| « Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic » |









11:14 AM Jul 11