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Faith
Topic Started: Oct 4 2008, 02:06 PM (1,009 Views)
Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God. He asks a student to stand......

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So you Believe in God?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is God good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is God all powerful?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

( Student is silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is God good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From . . . God .. . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?

(Student does not answer)

Professor : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them ?

( Student has no answer )

Professor : Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever seen God?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still believe in him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor Yes, faith. And that is the problem science has.


Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat,
white heat, a little heat or no heat. . but we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of Heat, sir, just the absence of it.

( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something¡ You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good God and a Bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that
death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavor...are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

( The Class is in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?

( The Class breaks out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelled it? . . .No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The Professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable. )

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . The link between Man & God is Faith. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Radu
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Senior Carp
0 replies and 386 views... God's works !
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"Whenever I hear of culture... I release the safety-catch of my Browning!"
The modern media has made cretins out of so many people that they're not interested in reality any more, unless it's reality TV (Jean D'eaux)
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
I noticed that.. it went from 18 views to 379 in about 15 seconds... :D

what causes that?

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Radu
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Larry
Oct 5 2008, 03:49 AM
I noticed that.. it went from 18 views to 379 in about 15 seconds... :D

what causes that?

Faith, my dear, faith !
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"Whenever I hear of culture... I release the safety-catch of my Browning!"
The modern media has made cretins out of so many people that they're not interested in reality any more, unless it's reality TV (Jean D'eaux)
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Well, I was praying. :lol2: :lol2:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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Klaus
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HOLY CARP!!!
I'm not an atheist, but this story is a good example of how superficial analogies can be horribly misleading.
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
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The 89th Key
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If this doesn't bring back Moonbat from his break, nothing will.
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Klaus
Oct 6 2008, 07:03 AM
I'm not an atheist, but this story is a good example of how superficial analogies can be horribly misleading.

Indeed. A bad analogy is like a.... like... well you know what they just suck.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Radu
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Klaus
Oct 6 2008, 06:03 PM
I'm not an atheist,

You ought be, my son, God bless ya !
Posted Image
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"Whenever I hear of culture... I release the safety-catch of my Browning!"
The modern media has made cretins out of so many people that they're not interested in reality any more, unless it's reality TV (Jean D'eaux)
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Quagmire
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Klaus
Oct 6 2008, 10:03 AM
I'm not an atheist, but this story is a good example of how superficial analogies can be horribly misleading.

You should have stopped at just horrible. I doubt anybody was actually misled.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Aqua Letifer
Oct 6 2008, 10:07 AM
Klaus
Oct 6 2008, 07:03 AM
I'm not an atheist, but this story is a good example of how superficial analogies can be horribly misleading.

Indeed. A bad analogy is like a.... like... well you know what they just suck.

A bad analogy is like a diagonal frog.
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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big al
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Bull-Carp
"There is no absolute knowledge. And those who claim it, whether they are scientists or dogmatists, open the door to tragedy. All information is imperfect. We have to treat it with humility."
—Jacob Bronowski, 'The Ascent of Man'


Big Al
Location: Western PA

"jesu, der simcha fun der man's farlangen."
-bachophile
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
big al
Oct 6 2008, 11:55 AM
"There is no absolute knowledge. And those who claim it, whether they are scientists or dogmatists, open the door to tragedy. All information is imperfect. We have to treat it with humility."
—Jacob Bronowski, 'The Ascent of Man'


Big Al

Are you absolutely sure of that?
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
As a hat-tip to the other thread about the religious, I think this example clearly demonstrates something about the intelligence of Christians.

(The partially humiliated professor will be marking his paper at the end of the year)

:D
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
John D'Oh
Oct 6 2008, 12:37 PM
As a hat-tip to the other thread about the religious, I think this example clearly demonstrates something about the intelligence of Christians.

(The partially humiliated professor will be marking his paper at the end of the year)

:D

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class!

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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Klaus
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HOLY CARP!!!
ivorythumper
Oct 6 2008, 09:33 PM
big al
Oct 6 2008, 11:55 AM
"There is no absolute knowledge. And those who claim it, whether they are scientists or dogmatists, open the door to tragedy. All information is imperfect. We have to treat it with humility."
—Jacob Bronowski, 'The Ascent of Man'


Big Al

Are you absolutely sure of that?

Ah, the joy of the Barbers/Russel's paradox :whistle:
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
I answered the phone in a similar manner, when I was in the Army. Part of our mission, in addition to medevac, was to fly VIP's around. (I planned and prepared medevac planning for then-president Bush Sr. and then VP Dan Quayle's visit to Japan, for instance.) We also flew the top brass around, like an air taxi service, when they had meetings at other bases, etc.

Part of my duty, when I wasn't flying, was to help out in the battalion commander's office, taking care of medal citations, proofreading officers' documents... (WTF??? THEY are the ones who were college educated! Hrmph!)

Anyway, one day, someone calls. I answer the phone, "78th Aviation Batallion! Good afternoon, Sir or Ma'am!" Whomever the asshole was who called, proceeded to just start tearin' ass, ranting and screaming. I waited until he paused and said, "Sir? Do you know who this is?" He yelled, "NO!! Who is this!?" I snickered and said, "Don't you wish you knew? You might think about that before you call up and make a giant asshole out of yourself. Have a nice day, asshole!" and I hung up the phone.

(Then I went down and hung out in the hangar for a while....) :whistle: :artist: :devilgrin:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
ivorythumper
Oct 6 2008, 03:41 PM
John D'Oh
Oct 6 2008, 12:37 PM
As a hat-tip to the other thread about the religious, I think this example clearly demonstrates something about the intelligence of Christians.

(The partially humiliated professor will be marking his paper at the end of the year)

:D

It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class!

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

Since the gentleman in question is a devout Christian, this type of devious, underhanded behaviour would clearly be beneath him, unless of course he wanted to spend the next 10 or 15 minutes of his life wracked with guilt.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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