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Mr. Schwartz, the tests show......
Topic Started: Jul 20 2008, 10:57 PM (153 Views)
Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Mikhailoh
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh hot buttered corn. Very impressive.......

However, I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy".

So the illustrious Rev. Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 Children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy. "I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a Great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."
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LadyElton
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The Obama-Osama one: :tsktsk:

The rest: :lol2:
Hilary aka LadyElton
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:lol2: :lol2:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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