Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 3
Am I being over jealous?
Topic Started: May 25 2008, 10:29 AM (896 Views)
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
Now with the woman, every little thing that I think is wrong i mention to her - compared to staying quiet last time. We've had a fair share of arguments over this. I am going to stop talking to her about it, as to not cause more fights - but I don't trust her.

She works all week, but come Friday or Saturday night after I leave, I think something is going on. Heck, I know something is. I pay her phone bill, so I see that she calls a taxi and babysitter at 3 to 5 in the morning, so she is out. She tells me she does not go out. I have not told her about the phone, but she knows I know at least the numbers since I pay the bill.

Now...she is risking it. She went out last night, denied it to me. I knew through the phone calls. I told her my uncle saw her in her city, and told me. (He didn't of course, but I knew she was out so I could safely assume that she would believe it) She denied it still. She has said that she also needs some time with her friends, and the same thing with me - etc.

She works all week and basically has the late hours on the weekend to mess it up. What should I do? I don't want to argue with her unless I am going to just break up with her, but this is bothering me.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sarah_blueparrot
Member Avatar
Fulla-Carp
To be honest, Crash, it doesn't sound like the healthiest of relationships. How willing are you both to drag it on?
Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow.

- Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
She has gotten better, but I still don't trust her. I am not sure if it is my problem because of what happened before, or if it actually is her still being dishonest with me.

I am very close to telling her I just don't want it anymore.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
You are the biggest putz on the face of the planet.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
Larry - I know it, too. In fact rationally and logically I know every reason why I should leave - I am not stupid. But it's still difficult to leave, feelings are a funny thing.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sue
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Without trust, Crash, you do not have a relationship.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
CrashTest
May 25 2008, 02:33 PM
Larry - I know it, too. In fact rationally and logically I know every reason why I should leave - I am not stupid. But it's still difficult to leave, feelings are a funny thing.

First of all, I don't believe there *is* a woman - because I refuse to believe that anyone could be as pathetic as you've shown yourself to be on purpose.

Second, it you're not stupid, why are you still there? Do you know how many women there are in this world?

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
Well then there we have it, I am stupid. It's putting a hole in my wallet, nerves, and patience.

I think I was in denial for a while. But you are right Larry - I am a putz and probably deserve it. I am inconsequential, impulsive, and probably need to learn a good life lesson.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
QuirtEvans
Member Avatar
I Owe It All To John D'Oh
Crash, whether it's true or not, you know exactly what the reaction is going to be when you tell your sad story of woe. Some people will say it's made up. Some people will tell you to leave the woman. And you'll continue to do what you do, regardless of anyone's advice.

So, what's the purpose of all this, except to hone your story-telling skills?
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
Crash, no one is inconsequential - but one of two things about you is true: either you're making this up just to play people here for fools (the version I believe) or you're not, and you are really as pathetic as you say.

Either way, you need a boot shoved square up your ass and told to grow up.

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
justme
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
sigh

Oh to be young again.

What am I saying? Oh, to be 2007 again.

Crash, have you been reading about all the tragedies going on around here? I know you've read about mine because you've offered advice and support. I can only assume you've read about the other tragedies. Chris Aher losing his son. Apple battling breast cancer. Larry's friend who lost his daughter and the poor tragic older brother who ran over her without seeing her. And probably some others that I'm missing because I'm just numb to it all.

These are tragic situations. These are tough times for a lot of people who are garnering all their needed strength just to get through.

What saddens me about your story with this woman is that you seem to be looking for tragedy. You, my dear friend, are flirting with disaster. You, my dear friend, may be the father of a child as I type this. You, my dear friend, may find yourself on the other end of a gun. You're playing in a playground with trashy lowlifes. You, my dear friend, probably already have a couple different kinds of STDs.

I don't mean to be harsh or cold. I'm just telling you that NOTHING good is going to come of this.

I guess we'll most of us still be your friends when the tragedy strikes. And we'll be here mostly likely to pick up the pieces with you.

Hopefully when the tragedy strikes you won't be dead and you'll just be a sick demoralized young man who got his feelings stepped on. Whatever happens, it's going to be bad.

Unless someday you honestly think you'll marry this woman. Do you have good intentions with this woman? Do you think someday you could marry her? And if you do marry her, do you think for one minute you'd be happy?

And do you think any of this is fair to her kid? I'm sure he's going to be totally screwed up someday when it comes to relationships.

I ranted enough. Crash, you're a tragedy waiting to happen if you continue to stay with this slut.
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Luke's Dad
Member Avatar
Emperor Pengin
Peggy, :clap:
The problem with having an open mind is that people keep trying to put things in it.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
sue
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
What saddens me is that you will think this is a normal way for a relationship to run. The checking on phone calls behind her back, the lying, the not trusting. Crash, these things are not right, and you will never have a good healthy relationship with anyone if you continue with that behaviour. No normal healthy woman would put up with that for a minute.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
justme
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
justme
May 25 2008, 03:17 PM


Crash, you're a tragedy waiting to happen if you continue to stay with this slut.

And I for one can't handle any more tragedies right now. Especially tragedies that are just waiting to happen.
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
Ok, can you guys help me find the strength to get out? It is not as simple as just dropping it and letting go, I need some strength to do it. Please, help. I don't know what to do.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Radu
Member Avatar
Senior Carp
CrashTest
May 25 2008, 11:03 PM
Please, help. I don't know what to do.

[size=14]PROZAC ![/size]



Posted Image
Posted Image
------------------------------------------------------------
"Whenever I hear of culture... I release the safety-catch of my Browning!"
The modern media has made cretins out of so many people that they're not interested in reality any more, unless it's reality TV (Jean D'eaux)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
CrashTest
May 25 2008, 04:03 PM
Ok, can you guys help me find the strength to get out? It is not as simple as just dropping it and letting go, I need some strength to do it. Please, help. I don't know what to do.

If you have a shred of dignity, you simply go home, stop messing around with her, and if she calls, tell her not to call again.

On the other hand, if you have no self esteem, go to your mother and tell her you want to be locked in the basement until you grow up, and have her call the girl and tell her to stay away from you.

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Horace
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
CrashTest
May 25 2008, 12:03 PM
Ok, can you guys help me find the strength to get out? It is not as simple as just dropping it and letting go, I need some strength to do it. Please, help. I don't know what to do.

Strength will come from never posting about it again, ever. Don't ask me how. Just never post about it again, ever. If it doesn't seem to be working, that only means you haven't not posted about it for long enough. Keep not posting about it and you eventually will have that strength. I promise.
As a good person, I implore you to do as I, a good person, do. Be good. Do NOT be bad. If you see bad, end bad. End it in yourself, and end it in others. By any means necessary, the good must conquer the bad. Good people know this. Do you know this? Are you good?
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
OperaTenor
Member Avatar
Pisa-Carp
QuirtEvans
May 25 2008, 10:57 AM
So, what's the purpose of all this, except to hone your story-telling skills?

And even that ain't workin'......



Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
justme
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
CrashTest
May 25 2008, 04:03 PM
Ok, can you guys help me find the strength to get out? It is not as simple as just dropping it and letting go, I need some strength to do it. Please, help. I don't know what to do.

Sadly, we can't give you strength.

We can only give you support and encourage you to do the right thing.

You're a grown man. You're not a boy. You need to find the strength within yourself and just walk away.

Trust me, you are not unique. I imagine most of us, if not all of us, as been in a rotten relationship at one time or another. We know it's tough to walk away. But you have to do it. For the sake of your physical well-being and your mental health. Get out now.

The longer you go on with this, the tougher it's going to be and the more danger you're going to be in.

She's an addiction and you have to treat her as an addiction.

Also, look to your mom and dad for support. You don't want them to do it for you. You're a grown man. But you do need and want their support. They are the people that love you most in the world right now. That will change when you find the right woman. Then she's going to love you more than anyone else in the world.

But get out, quick. For your own physical and mental health.
"Men sway more towards hussies." G-D3
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
PhJ
Member Avatar
Senior Carp
CrashTest
May 25 2008, 07:29 PM
What should I do?


buy & read this: Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships
amazon

It should help you a lot.


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
I am going to start seeing a therapist this week, hopefully that will help. I want out, I just need a bit more strength to get out.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
She was your first sexual encounter, wasn't she Crash?
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
CrashTest
Pisa-Carp
No, she wasn't, but she was very early on. She was the most "serious" it got for me so far.

But larry, you are right..basically my first real sexual encounter that went a bit deeper, if that makes sense.

Does that change anything?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
I want you to try an experiment.

Find a girl you like, and resolve to develop a friendship with her that doesn't include sex. No matter what happens in the relationship, don't have sex.

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Create a free forum in seconds.
Learn More · Register for Free
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic »
Add Reply
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 3