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| For Better or Worse? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 7 2008, 10:50 AM (706 Views) | |
| kenny | Mar 7 2008, 10:50 AM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I don't like that marriage vow. I think certain bad things justify dumping your spouse. |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 10:51 AM Post #2 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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Kenny, can you think of anything that's both easy to do and worthwhile? Nothing of value comes easy. That includes marriage. |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| sarah_blueparrot | Mar 7 2008, 10:51 AM Post #3 |
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Fulla-Carp
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A union in the eyes of God with a "dump" clause is hardly holy. |
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Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow. - Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 10:52 AM Post #4 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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You illustrated that better than I did.
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| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| Frank_W | Mar 7 2008, 10:52 AM Post #5 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Abuse, neglect, habitual infidelity, abandonment.... These are examples of things that would be cause for divorce. |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| sarah_blueparrot | Mar 7 2008, 10:54 AM Post #6 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Yeees, but going into the marriage with part of your mind already made up that "if s/he does this/that I will divorce him" is hardly foundation for a rock solid union. It would be a poorer relationship that included the conscious safetynet. |
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Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow. - Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 10:54 AM Post #7 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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It's a tricky situation, though. On one hand you have serious issues. Abuse, neglect, etc. I can see an argument for that. On the other hand you have real ridiculous stuff. He/she doesn't make the money I want. Then there's plenty of things in between. The problem is, when these problems involve you, you automatically become the worst person to choose to be objective. |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| John D'Oh | Mar 7 2008, 10:54 AM Post #8 |
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MAMIL
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Many marriages have nothing to do with God. I was not married in a church, and I didn't invite Jesus to the reception, although I must admit I was tempted because we couldn't afford really good wine. If a husband beats the sh!t out of his wife, for example, she's well within her rights to divorce him. 'Worse' doesn't mean 'beating the sh!t out of'. With all this kind of stuff, a little bit of common sense is needed. (Waiting for someone to start a debate trying to exactly define what 'common sense' is) |
| What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket? | |
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| kenny | Mar 7 2008, 10:58 AM Post #9 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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I think there are people who feel "for better or for worse" means just that. Marriage is permanent, no matter what. |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 7 2008, 10:58 AM Post #10 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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You HAVE been listening to me! It's sinking IN!!!!
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 11:00 AM Post #11 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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I dunno whatcha mean, I respects marriage, yo! |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| Frank_W | Mar 7 2008, 11:00 AM Post #12 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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I think there are people who are pretty damn stupid. Any woman who would put up with a man hitting her, is fool. |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 7 2008, 11:00 AM Post #13 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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u r SO screwed...
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 7 2008, 11:00 AM Post #14 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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Glimmers of wisdom...
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| Phlebas | Mar 7 2008, 11:02 AM Post #15 |
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Bull-Carp
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No. There are conditions even in the Catholic Church - which is one of the strictest regarding divorce - that allow for anullment. It "for better or worse," not "for better or worst." |
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Random FML: Today, I was fired by my boss in front of my coworkers. It would have been nice if I could have left the building before they started celebrating. FML The founding of the bulk of the world's nation states post 1914 is based on self-defined nationalisms. The bulk of those national movements involve territory that was ethnically mixed. The foundation of many of those nation states involved population movements in the aftermath. When the only one that is repeatedly held up as unjust and unjustifiable is the Zionist project, the term anti-semitism may very well be appropriate. - P*D | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 11:02 AM Post #16 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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"I have had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity."
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| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 11:05 AM Post #17 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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Jesus is kind of like your bar's resident drunk. Some people like the guy, others don't so much, still others try to pretend he doesn't exist but regardless, he's always around.
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| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| pianojerome | Mar 7 2008, 11:06 AM Post #18 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Here's another vow: "Till death do us part." Same thing, really. How do people feel differently about marriage being "till death do us part" when [1] a high percentage of people are getting divorce and [2] it's not a social taboo to get divorced for even the most whimsical reasons? Is "till death do us part" just a few words that don't really mean anything anymore? Are marriage "vows" not really vows anymore, but simply meaningless traditions? I think this is part of what people mean when they talk about "the sanctity of marriage". It's not just two people living together -- it's much more than that. And that doesn't have to mean that it is necessarily religious, although of course that's where it possibly originated -- socially, it can really mean a lot, though I guess not in our society. |
| Sam | |
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| sue | Mar 7 2008, 11:06 AM Post #19 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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But going into a marriage with the notion that you will stay with this person no matter what, even if he cheats on you, beats you black and blue....is not a foundation for a healthy relationship, or life. I wouldn't make amendments to the phrase, I would just leave it out. |
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| Mikhailoh | Mar 7 2008, 11:10 AM Post #20 |
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If you want trouble, find yourself a redhead
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You might not see him in person... but he sees you just the same You won't have to worry 'cause takin' care of business is his name |
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Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead - Lucille Ball | |
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| kenny | Mar 7 2008, 11:10 AM Post #21 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Leaving it out is a good idea IMHO. You can write your own vows. Many do. |
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| pianojerome | Mar 7 2008, 11:11 AM Post #22 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Maybe I'm just naive, but unless you are truly blind, wouldn't you notice aggressive/abusive tendencies before you got married, assuming that it's not just someone you met a few months or a year before you got married? (assuming that you actually got to know the person before getting married) Certainly people are blinded by love, so I can see how some people would get married knowing full well what was coming. To me, "for better or worse" does not mean if the person abuses me -- it means if finances are tough; it means if there are differences of opinion about how to deal with children; it means if there's a conflict over moving to a new state due to a work promotion vs. staying in the community that is already familiar; etc. Those are things that can't necessarily be predicted, and they are things that (IMO) no matter how difficult should not break up a marriage. |
| Sam | |
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| kenny | Mar 7 2008, 11:13 AM Post #23 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Let's hear from our divorced posters. Should be 50% of us, right? Why did you get a divorce, and did you (or your spouse) take and break the "for better or for worse" vow? |
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| Aqua Letifer | Mar 7 2008, 11:15 AM Post #24 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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No, not at all. People can be completely fine and normal for years before they make a turn like that. "You should have seen it coming" is the worst assumption to make. |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| sarah_blueparrot | Mar 7 2008, 11:17 AM Post #25 |
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Fulla-Carp
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Yes, that's true. To be honest I had cheating in mind when I was thinking about the phrase, and didn't really think about beating. Sam, not necessarily. I'm sure a lot of people change once married, whether with little things like not bothering to shave, or big things like a revelation of a different personality. I'm not speaking from experience here. |
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Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow. - Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross | |
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6:17 AM Jul 11