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What do people on an internet forum owe each other
Topic Started: Dec 28 2007, 03:00 AM (2,165 Views)
Daniel
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HOLY CARP!!!
Although those of us who have posted on internet forums for ten years or however long consider ourselves to be experienced with it the internet is still a relatively new medium.

Part of what is new is that you can become close to people very fast and disconnect from them just as easily.

With the press of a button any of us could leave our friends here and not be heard from again.

People make dramatic exits, people stop posting and don't say a word about it, people reappear, or they don't.

I've never been comfortable with this aspect of the internet. In fact I think it's the only thing about it I don't like.

It seems people who post on forums assuming they haven't met each other and don't know each other in 'real life' tacitly agree that they owe each other nothing. At the same time people often connect on a friendship level on forums. I've even read posts about forums being communities.

Anyway, I don't have a conclusion about any of this. These are just some thoughts I've had lately and I thought I'd share them.

If this doesn't make sense to you, don't worry about it. It's probably the end of the year that's making me melancholy. :pirate2:
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
People do the same thing offline, I think. It used to be "You don't call, you don't write" now it's "You don't post" Everybody has different levels of interest in communication at different points in the day/week/year/life. It's probably no coincidence that, as a busy mother of three, my life is peopled with friends who are happy 'picking up where we left off,' knowing that when we aren't in communication, it's because we have a lot of responsibilities to attend to. Of course, it could be because we're in prison or dead...but most of the time, that's not the case. In this forum, I have found that most folks are pretty forthcoming about leaving on vacation, taking a break to cool off, getting too busy, going forgood etc. My compuserve forum is that way as well. Over the years, we've lost five members (permanently...they died) but all five of them had family members who understood the forum's importance to them and let us know what happened. I think that in that forum 100 percent of the people have met another forum member in real life. Those in NY meet regularly for dinner before the opera, so it's a tight knit community. A high percentage of folks in here have met at least one other forum member, I think...probably changes the dynamic a little bit compared with online forums where everyone uses a very anonymous sounding handle and nobody has any desire to actually meet the other members.

I think the assumption in an active online community is that people will post far more frequently than you would expect to hear from almost anyone in your real life friend groups besides those who live in your house (maybe those as well, if it's a busy household). Because of the ease and speed of transmission, the internet is to communication as a microwave oven is to a baked potato. Faster isn't always better. I know I've opened many a thread over the years with people almost up in arms because their two or three-hour-old post hasn't been addressed yet...as if they expect that the other people are sitting in front of their computers, ignoring all the other people in their lives, their jobs, responsibilities, and recreation, refreshing the page waiting to see that post at the instant it is available. I haven't seen that happen much in this forum, I think people here tend to be a bit more relaxed about comings and goings, probably because most of us are pretty heavily invested in life elsewhere. Some forums are less healthy that way...you kind of get the feeling that the only people the members have to talk to are other members, and they don't even like each other very much. Even if it's a forum discussing something I'm interested in, in interesting fashion, I don't post if the community seems too...'inbred' Don't want to get caught up in other folks unrealistic expectations.

I don't know what the solution is, other than people probably should relax and take lack of communication in stride the way they are naturally accustomed to in their offline lives.
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
Quote:
 
What do people on an internet forum owe each other


$20. I take Paypal.
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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OperaTenor
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Pisa-Carp
It's a great way for me to meet interesting people, but I see it more as a steppingstone toward getting to know people better, with the ultimate goal of getting to meet them in person at some opportunity.

The best friendships are tangible.



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TomK
HOLY CARP!!!
We owe each other nothing more than what people in regular society owe each other: kindness and respect.

BTW: good post OT.
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ivorythumper
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
OperaTenor
Dec 28 2007, 09:07 AM

The best friendships are tangible.

Noli me tangere.
The dogma lives loudly within me.
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Daniel
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HOLY CARP!!!
TomK
Dec 28 2007, 08:12 AM
We owe each other nothing more than what people in regular society owe each other: kindness and respect.

BTW: good post OT.

Interesting.
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OperaTenor
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Pisa-Carp
ivorythumper
Dec 28 2007, 08:12 AM
OperaTenor
Dec 28 2007, 09:07 AM

The best friendships are tangible.

Noli me tangere.

That's what I get for spilling the wine?

;)

Tom, thank you.



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Daniel
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HOLY CARP!!!
"Because of the ease and speed of transmission, the internet is to communication as a microwave oven is to a baked potato."

:lol2:
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Doctor Phibes
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Advanced Member
OperaTenor
Dec 28 2007, 08:07 AM
It's a great way for me to meet interesting people, but I see it more as a steppingstone toward getting to know people better, with the ultimate goal of getting to meet them in person at some opportunity.

And have them over for dinner, presumably.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. The interior of my chest freezer is very, very cold
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LWpianistin
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HOLY CARP!!!
TomK
Dec 28 2007, 12:12 PM
We owe each other nothing more than what people in regular society owe each other: kindness and respect.


I couldn't imagine this place's attitude being normal in face-to-face settings.....
And how are you today?
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
LWpianistin
Dec 28 2007, 12:36 PM
TomK
Dec 28 2007, 12:12 PM
We owe each other nothing more than what people in regular society owe each other: kindness and respect.


I couldn't imagine this place's attitude being normal in face-to-face settings.....

When we got together at Quirt's a fist-fight broke out over whether Chuck Norris was tougher than Bruce Lee. Quirt eventually tried to step in and split the ladies up, but they turned on him and he ended up having to visit ER so that they could pull his wing tips out again.
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
John D'Oh
Dec 28 2007, 09:46 AM

When we got together at Quirt's a fist-fight broke out over whether Chuck Norris was tougher than Bruce Lee. Quirt eventually tried to step in and split the ladies up, but they turned on him and he ended up having to visit ER so that they could pull his wing tips out again.

That's the stupidest, most absurd thing I've ever heard.

Everyone knows Bruce could beat Chuck's ass. Just watch Return of the Dragon and see.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
I don't know, man... Chuckie-boy is pretty bad-ass, but still, that chick in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," was pretty tough! :blink:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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Aqua Letifer
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ZOOOOOM!
Frank_W
Dec 28 2007, 10:30 AM
I don't know, man... Chuckie-boy is pretty bad-ass, but still, that chick in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," was pretty tough! :blink:

Yeap, that she was. However, she has no formal martial arts training under her belt, so to speak.

Sonny Chiba's pretty beast, too, but I dunno if he's still around making movies.
I cite irreconcilable differences.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Sonny Chiba was pretty darn cool!
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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John D'Oh
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MAMIL
Aqua Letifer
Dec 28 2007, 12:57 PM
John D'Oh
Dec 28 2007, 09:46 AM

When we got together at Quirt's a fist-fight broke out over whether Chuck Norris was tougher than Bruce Lee. Quirt eventually tried to step in and split the ladies up, but they turned on him and he ended up having to visit ER so that they could pull his wing tips out again.

That's the stupidest, most absurd thing I've ever heard.

Everyone knows Bruce could beat Chuck's ass. Just watch Return of the Dragon and see.

1 ml of Chuck Norris' sweat can cause a human brain to swell to twice it's normal size. Need I say more?
What do you mean "we", have you got a mouse in your pocket?
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
I have a headache... :mellow: :huh: :sombrero:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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QuirtEvans
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I Owe It All To John D'Oh
John D'Oh
Dec 28 2007, 12:46 PM
LWpianistin
Dec 28 2007, 12:36 PM
TomK
Dec 28 2007, 12:12 PM
We owe each other nothing more than what people in regular society owe each other: kindness and respect.


I couldn't imagine this place's attitude being normal in face-to-face settings.....

When we got together at Quirt's a fist-fight broke out over whether Chuck Norris was tougher than Bruce Lee. Quirt eventually tried to step in and split the ladies up, but they turned on him and he ended up having to visit ER so that they could pull his wing tips out again.

The key word is "eventually". What John forgot to mention is that I steered them to an inflatable pool filled with vegetable oil for a few minutes first.
It would be unwise to underestimate what large groups of ill-informed people acting together can achieve. -- John D'Oh, January 14, 2010.
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
Like I said: We're partying at QUIRT'S place!! :lol2: :party: :sombrero: :cheers:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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Free Rider
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Fulla-Carp
Daniel
Dec 28 2007, 09:07 AM
"Because of the ease and speed of transmission, the internet is to communication as a microwave oven is to a baked potato."

:lol2:

I disagree.

Face to face conversation allows us to hear the person's tone of voice, the expression on their face, their body language. In fact...only a small percentage of what we communicate is through words themselves.

On the web that's all you get and you have to painstakingly type it all out. It takes forever just to be misunderstood! :silly:
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
WTF is THAT supposed to mean, you.... :veryangry: :cursing: :angry:






:sombrero: :lol2:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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DivaDeb
HOLY CARP!!!
Assuming you're communicating in the same room...I was actually comparing long distance communication now with times past. Back in the day, the effort of writing long hand, and the length of time between responses, generally caused people to give a good dea more consideration to what they said. That is what I meant when I said "Faster isn't necessarily better"

Not many people wrote letters to pass time the way we make forum posts. Even phone calls, except between teenagers, seem to require more investment of effort than shooting a quip through cyberspace. It's not that there's anything wrong with that, it just leads to different dynamic, one that has a great deal of margin for misunderstanding and bad timing.

Good thing for smileys

:angel: :smokin: :hearts: :juggle: :excited: :silly:


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Free Rider
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Fulla-Carp
DivaDeb
Dec 28 2007, 04:35 PM

Good thing for smileys

:angel: :smokin: :hearts: :juggle: :excited: :silly:

I was just thinkin' that.
:P :biggrin: :lol: :cool: :rolleyes:
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
The elegant art of letter writing is a dying one, sadly... What's amazing to me, is that my grandmother, at 87 years old, has beautiful penmanship. After six years of the medical field, plus fifteen years of using a computer, my penmanship SUCKS!! :sad: :no:
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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