Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to The New Coffee Room. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
A Parable
Topic Started: Dec 25 2007, 04:44 AM (278 Views)
Improviso
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper

TRADITIONAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008.

Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments
and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism.

We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daniel
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
And thank you for that heartwarming Christmas message. :rolleyes:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Aqua Letifer
Member Avatar
ZOOOOOM!
We're assuming, of course, that the Grasshopper is not mentally or otherwise disabled, the Grasshoper is african american and therefore gets Jesse's support, the EEOC can in fact pass retroactive legislation, that the taxes are so ridiculously bad that the ant can't afford to pay them (which I have never heard of), and that Clinton had that many Supreme Court nominations under his belt (which he hasn't of course; Bush had more).

Yeah, given that criteria that's spot-on!
I cite irreconcilable differences.
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
Daniel
Dec 25 2007, 07:48 AM
And thank you for that heartwarming Christmas message. :rolleyes:

Spoken like a good little grasshopper.....

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daniel
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Larry
Dec 25 2007, 06:10 AM
Daniel
Dec 25 2007, 07:48 AM
And thank you for that heartwarming Christmas message. :rolleyes:

Spoken like a good little grasshopper.....

:yawn:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Larry
Member Avatar
Mmmmmmm, pie!
Daniel, did you know that in Argentina they named a town after you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mor%C3%B3n,_Buenos_Aires
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Klaus
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Larry, please - not this again :darthno:
Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman
Online Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daniel
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Everyone have some eggnog. Relax. :P
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daniel
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Larry
Dec 25 2007, 06:10 AM
Daniel
Dec 25 2007, 07:48 AM
And thank you for that heartwarming Christmas message. :rolleyes:

Spoken like a good little grasshopper.....

Drop dead.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Daniel
Member Avatar
HOLY CARP!!!
Larry
Dec 25 2007, 07:09 AM
Daniel, did you know that in Argentina they named a town after you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mor%C3%B3n,_Buenos_Aires

Drop dead.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums. Reliable service with over 8 years of experience.
« Previous Topic · The New Coffee Room · Next Topic »
Add Reply