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| A Parable | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 25 2007, 04:44 AM (278 Views) | |
| Improviso | Dec 25 2007, 04:44 AM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper TRADITIONAL VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008. |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| Daniel | Dec 25 2007, 04:48 AM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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And thank you for that heartwarming Christmas message. :rolleyes: |
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| Aqua Letifer | Dec 25 2007, 05:20 AM Post #3 |
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ZOOOOOM!
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We're assuming, of course, that the Grasshopper is not mentally or otherwise disabled, the Grasshoper is african american and therefore gets Jesse's support, the EEOC can in fact pass retroactive legislation, that the taxes are so ridiculously bad that the ant can't afford to pay them (which I have never heard of), and that Clinton had that many Supreme Court nominations under his belt (which he hasn't of course; Bush had more). Yeah, given that criteria that's spot-on! |
| I cite irreconcilable differences. | |
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| Larry | Dec 25 2007, 06:10 AM Post #4 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Spoken like a good little grasshopper..... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Daniel | Dec 25 2007, 06:35 AM Post #5 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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| Larry | Dec 25 2007, 07:09 AM Post #6 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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Daniel, did you know that in Argentina they named a town after you? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mor%C3%B3n,_Buenos_Aires |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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| Klaus | Dec 25 2007, 10:11 AM Post #7 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Larry, please - not this again
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| Trifonov Fleisher Klaus Sokolov Zimmerman | |
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| Daniel | Dec 25 2007, 10:13 AM Post #8 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Everyone have some eggnog. Relax. |
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| Daniel | Dec 26 2007, 12:52 AM Post #9 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Drop dead. |
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| Daniel | Dec 26 2007, 12:52 AM Post #10 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Drop dead. |
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