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| Testicle surgery mystifies police | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 7 2007, 07:35 PM (134 Views) | |
| musicasacra | Aug 7 2007, 07:35 PM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Testicle Surgery Mystifies Police Aug 7, 5:10 PM (ET) ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) - When conventional medical professionals refused to remove a 62-year-old local man's testicles, police said he turned to mysterious "professionals" to relieve what he called chronic pain. Now police want to find the fly-by-night surgeons. "I have never in my life seen anything quite like that," said St. Paul police spokesman Tom Walsh. According to a search warrant affidavit filed Monday, the man complained of chronic pain and turned to conventional medical personnel to remove his testicles. When they refused, the 62-year-old man said he hired other "professionals" to do the surgery. He would not tell officers who they were, saying he didn't want to get them into trouble. Police said a couple of weeks ago, two or three people operated on the man in his home. He was unconscious. When he woke up, his testicles were gone. So were his "professionals." His groin area was bleeding heavily, so he called his daughter. She called for help. Police found an improvised operating room in the man's house, with bright lights, an apparent operating table, a camera and various medical supplies and equipment. There was also blood in several rooms of the house. |
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| Red Rice | Aug 7 2007, 08:48 PM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Someone just e-mailed me this joke: The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That! 's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about A new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36." Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! ! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." |
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Civilisation, I vaguely realized then - and subsequent observation has confirmed the view - could not progress that way. It must have a greater guiding principle to survive. To treat it as a carcase off which each man tears as much as he can for himself, is to stand convicted a brute, fit for nothing better than a jungle existence, which is a death-struggle, leading nowhither. I did not believe that was the human destiny, for Man individually was sane and reasonable, only collectively a fool. I hope the gunner of that Hun two-seater shot him clean, bullet to heart, and that his plane, on fire, fell like a meteor through the sky he loved. Since he had to end, I hope he ended so. But, oh, the waste! The loss! - Cecil Lewis | |
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| ivorythumper | Aug 7 2007, 09:20 PM Post #3 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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Sounds like a case for Frank and Joe. |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| Frank_W | Aug 8 2007, 03:20 PM Post #4 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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I had NOTHING to do with this!! |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| Improviso | Aug 8 2007, 03:26 PM Post #5 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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:lol: |
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Identifying narcissists isn't difficult. Just look for the person who is constantly fishing for compliments and admiration while breaking down over even the slightest bit of criticism. We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. | |
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| JBryan | Aug 8 2007, 03:31 PM Post #6 |
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I am the grey one
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Well, since the guy lived they wouldn't be working out of Homicide Division so it must be Robbery. |
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"Any man who would make an X rated movie should be forced to take his daughter to see it". - John Wayne There is a line we cross when we go from "I will believe it when I see it" to "I will see it when I believe it". Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody. Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore. From The Lion in Winter. | |
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| ivorythumper | Aug 8 2007, 04:07 PM Post #7 |
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I am so adjective that I verb nouns!
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The Hardy Boys and the Case of the Missing Testicle. "Hey, Frank, let's hop in the jalopy, go get Chet, and look for that missing testicle!" "Sure, Joe, why I'll bet someone will pay a big reward to get it back!" |
| The dogma lives loudly within me. | |
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| Frank_W | Aug 8 2007, 04:10 PM Post #8 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Found it!!! The little girl down the street was sitting on the sidewalk, playing jacks with it! :lol: |
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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