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Where did the white man go wrong?
Topic Started: May 19 2007, 05:33 PM (259 Views)
Jolly
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Geaux Tigers!
Recently an old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U. S. Government officials sent by the President to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did
the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night making love."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled.
"Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
The main obstacle to a stable and just world order is the United States.- George Soros
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
:D

NASA was putting a time capsule together to put on Mars, and wanted to have some authentic Native American language included. They went to the rez to talk to the Chief about getting him to say something into a recorder they could use. He didn't speak any English, so one of the other men from the rez translated. At first the old Chief refused. But the NASA men kept pushing, so finally the old Chief agreed to do it, and spoke into the microphone in his native tongue for a minute, and got up and walked away. All the other men from the rez started laughing their asses off. One of the men from NASA asked what was so funny, and the guy doing the translating said "It's what the Chief said." So the NASA guy asked what he said and the translator said "Chief said, 'Don't trust the white bastard - he's come to steal your land!' "

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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George K
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Finally
Larry, do any of these apply to you?


• You attend a General Custer memorial dinner, and you wear an Arrow shirt.
• Someone at a picnic yells "Hey, you with the blanket, over here" and you think it's an invitation for romance. (Larry, I *know* that's you)
• Dancing to "Running Bear" at your local bar and it begins to Rain.
• You put a "Free Peltier" sticker on your truck, and the FBI wiretaps your house.
• Someone inadvertently points out directions with his lips and you know exactly where he is talking about.
• Someone asks you your stance on immigration, and you just laugh.

Custer Joke:

Custer is said to have boasted that he could ride through the entire Sioux nation with his Seventh Calvary and he was half right- He got half-way through . . .

A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Spike Lee from DC
Junior Carp
You not be bashing Whitie, are 'ya?

'Cause some of my best friends be White...
"Do the Right Thing"
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
:yes:

Well, not the one about Peltier or the one about lips. That's a Phillipines thing. And Peltier can rot as far as I'm concerned....

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
You've heard of the olympic skater named Picabo (peek-a-boo) Street, right? Did you know she's now a nurse working in the intensive care unit?

When she answers the phone she says "Picabo, ICU...".... :D
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Little Feather went to a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Little Feather asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy." Little Feather looking worried, then said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy mom."
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
There are 4 Southern Belles sitting out on the verandah sipping their mint juleps. The first one says, "Ya'll lookie heah, see the diamond bracelet mah husband bought me". They look at the bracelet and say, "Why how lovely".

The second one says; "Ya'll lookie heah at the gold & diamond brooch mine bought me". They look at the brooch and say, "Why how lovely".

The third one says, "Well, mah husband bought me this heah strand of matching black pearls". They look at the pearls and say, "Why, how lovely".

The fourth one says, "Well mah husband sent me to charm school". They look at her and ask, "What'd he do that foah?"

She replies, "So I could learn how to say 'Why how lovely' instead of 'f**k ya'll".
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A guy is watching a couple of pollocks working, and can't understand why they're doing what they're doing. Finally he walks over to them and says "I appreciate how hard you're both working, but what hell are you doing? Every time one of you digs a hole, the other one comes and fills it up again!

One of them says "Well, the guy who plants the trees is sick today".....
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR AN INDIAN SAY:

"Dang, it's gonna rain and I just waxed my car."

"Naw, I don't feel like going snagging tonight."

"You can't feed that to the dog!"

"No thanks we're vegetarians."

"No thanks I don't want any fry bread."

"Do you think my hair is too long?"

"Trim the fat off that steak."

"The tires on that truck are too big."

"Yes officer, I have my license, registration and insurance right here."
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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George K
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Finally
At the Olympic Games, a girl bumps into a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick.

“Excuse me,” says the girl to the man. “Are you a pole vaulter?”

“No,” says the man, “I’m German, but how did you know my name is Walter?”
A guide to GKSR: Click

"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... "
- Mik, 6/14/08


Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
Two indians on their way back from a pow wow were walking through a parking lot in their full regalia when two old white women walked by, and decided to chat with the indians about their costumes. After complimenting their costumers, one of the old women said "You know, I'm..." and one of the indians cut her off and said "Yeah, let me guess. Your great, great, great, great grandmother was a Cherokee princess, right?"

The old woman looked at the other one and said, "See, I told you! He can tell!"

Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
A couple in their 90's are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the dr. tells them that they're physically ok, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I am in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure" "Dont you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks. Irritated, he says, "I dont need to write it down, I can remember it!! Ice Cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!!" Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says,

"Where's my toast?"
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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Riley
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HOLY CARP!!!
Larry
May 19 2007, 11:12 PM
A couple in their 90's are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the dr. tells them that they're physically ok, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I am in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure" "Dont you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?" He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks. Irritated, he says, "I dont need to write it down, I can remember it!! Ice Cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!!" Then he toddles into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says,

"Where's my toast?"

^_^
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Larry
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
How to tell that you're not an indian:

1. When served 'Indian steak,' you complain, "Hey, this is bologna!"
2. You don't know how many drummers it takes to screw in a light bulb.
3. you've never eaten commodity cheese.
4. you've never used commodity cheese as a doorstop.
5. you hang Indian corn on your front door instead of eating it.
6. none of your relatives has diabetes. (George.... :D )
7. you have a dream catcher hanging from your rear view mirror.
8. you think Native Americans should put up with your crap because after all "we're all related."
9. you have to go and find some scissors to open your package with.
10. when you see a person in traditional Native American dress, you pat your mouth and make 'woo woo' noises
11. you think Indians have no sense of humor.
12. you can't see that you are funny.
13. you don't know what a "rez rocket" is
14. if you say, "You don't look like an Indian" to an Indian (or if you think all Indians look like Geromino)
15. you own collector plates featuring men with rippling muscles, feathers, and prostrate maidens.
16. you've never woken up with a houseful strangers fixing themselves breakfast, eating your bacon, and calling you 'cousin'.
17. you think Dances with Wolves is a great movie.
18. you want to know where to apply to get your Indian name.
19. you refer to a drum as a 'tom tom'.
20. you think 'heya heyaya' is the Indian word for 'God', because "it's in all the songs"
21. when you meet a real Indian, you hold your hand out like a stop sign and say, "How!"
22. you get annoyed if people are late. :D
23. you have no idea why Native people laugh hysterically when they see you on the street
24. you believe that 'freedom of expression' gives you the right to poke your nose into matters that don't concern you.
25. you ask a question, then argue with the answer.
Of the Pokatwat Tribe

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