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| now this is a funny joke | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 9 2007, 01:13 AM (156 Views) | |
| bachophile | Jan 9 2007, 01:13 AM Post #1 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Yankel Goldstein, in his late 80s and still gainfully employed as a ribbon salesman, has been trying, unsuccessfully, to sell ribbon to Macy's for many years. Last week, he made another attempt to speak with the buyer who was resentful of doing business with Jews. "Goldstein," the buyer says, "you've been trying to sell me ribbon for at least 25 years. Now is your chance. Send me enough yellow ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis." Three days later, four tractor trailers full of yellow ribbon drive up to Macy's receiving dock. The ribbon buyer goes ballistic. He calls Goldstein and yells, "What's going on??? I only ordered enough yellow ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and you send me four truck loads full of it!" Goldstein replies calmly: "The tip of my penis is in Poland." |
| "I don't know much about classical music. For years I thought the Goldberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg did on their wedding night." Woody Allen | |
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| LWpianistin | Jan 9 2007, 03:58 AM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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:lol: ...kind of. Maybe more of a
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| And how are you today? | |
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| DivaDeb | Jan 9 2007, 05:39 AM Post #3 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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| George K | Jan 9 2007, 05:48 AM Post #4 |
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Finally
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Here's the way I heard it: A Military general at the whitehouse was in a meeting to discuss the military capicity. it turned out that there were too many soldiers in there. So they had to get rid of their veterans and so they brought them into the room, but feeling guilty decided to pay them Money for their retirement. So They agreed that they would ask each soldier that they would pay 1 thousand dollars for each cm length from point A. to point B. Example - Wrist, to Elbow. So they ask the first soldier, from where would you like us to measure you from? The soldier replies From my Toes To my head. They measure and get 5ft 9 and pay them man a hefty sum of money Lets say...50k. They ask the second man the same question. "From my toes to the tip of my hand ( In the hair he held his hand up as high as he could)." So they did and fot 10ft 11, and he walked out of their with some 100k. To the final veteran they ask the same thing. To which to their surprise he replies, " From the tip of my penis to the tip of my balls." They ask the man if he's sure he wants to measure from there...He could do what the others did and make way more money. But he insisted on his first answer and didnt want to change so the general had no choice. he sent the man to the doctor to measure. While there the doctor asks the men to pull down his pants and he would measure. The doctor shouts after the man pulls his pants down, " My god! You don't have any balls! Where are they?" To which the soldier replied," Vietnam." |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| Frank_W | Jan 9 2007, 06:24 AM Post #5 |
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Resident Misanthrope
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Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin." Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!" | |
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| Larry | Jan 9 2007, 07:59 AM Post #6 |
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Mmmmmmm, pie!
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I've told this one before, but it fits.... Did you hear about the Rabbi who saved them up and made billfolds out of them? When you rubbed them they turned into suitcases..... |
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Of the Pokatwat Tribe | |
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6:39 AM Jul 11