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I've noticed that some of you can write good; so I want to try it
Topic Started: Jan 8 2007, 10:09 PM (270 Views)
Claude Ball
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Middle Aged Carp
Some of you people are good at writing creative stories, and I've always wanted to be a writer. So I'm gonna write a story, and you tell me if I did good.


Ahem......


It was a dark and rainy night. I'd had a flat on my pickup truck about a mile out of town, so I wasn't in too good a mood when I finally made it to the Waffle House. "What a night to have a blind date" I thought to myself as I made my way through the door to the only empty booth in the place. The waitress came over and said "Whatcha gonna have, hon?" "Coffee," I said, as I looked around the place trying to figure out which one of them she was.

The usual suspects filled the room. On the booth across from me sat an old guy wearing a leather jacket with "Born to ride" stitched across the back, a Harley logo right below his testimony, a rebel flag scarf tied into a cap on his head, and a long grey pony tail sticking out the back being the only evidence of hair on his head. The rest of the people in the booths looked like a Jerry Springer audition had let out for dinner.

Then I saw her. There she was, sitting on a stool at the counter, sipping on a Coke. She looked at me and without making a sound she pointed toward me and I could see her shape the word "Claude?". I nodded yes, and she smiled at me and began to gather up her things so she could come sit with me in my booth. What a woman! She slid off the stool, stretched to the full 4'10" of her pudgy little body, and began to waddle my way. Quickly, being the gentleman that I am, I tested the bench to see if it was bolted to the floor. I wanted her to feel comfortable, and I knew she'd need all the room I could manage.

We sat there until late into the morning, talking, eating pie, running down our family trees to make sure we weren't cousins..... my how the time flew by! Finally she said she was getting sleepy, and would I take her back to my place so she could spend the night.

"WOULD I!" I exclaimed.

How was I supposed to know she had a wood eye? She got a mean look in her eye, looked at me and retorted, "HAIRLIP!" apparently in an attempt to get even with what she took as me making fun of her eyeball. I quickly explained to her that I had no idea she had a wood eye, and meant no harm. Once she understood, she smiled real big, her tooth glistening in the glow of the flourescent lighting.

The next day we spent the afternoon out by the pond having a picnic. I was having so much fun, sitting there on the tailgate of my pickup truck, all that food spread out beside me, and her down on the ground jumping up and down looking like a football with legs and a dress trying to jump up and reach the mustard. She'd just laugh, lick that tooth, and jump up and down trying to get hold of that mustard bottle, all those rolls of "love handles" lifting and falling as she jumped making her look like an accordian, her large, luscious breasts beating her in the head as she landed, on her knees as she launched herself for another try. I just let her jump, since she seemed to be having so much fun. Besides, she did need the excersize.

All too soon, it was time to take her home. She was out of cigarettes, and I was out of breath.

The end.

Ok.. did I do good? Huh?



Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
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CTPianotech
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Fulla-Carp
you tell purdy stories
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Claude Ball
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Middle Aged Carp
:D
Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
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CTPianotech
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Fulla-Carp
Quote:
 
We sat there until late into the morning, talking, eating pie


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Claude Ball
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Middle Aged Carp
Ya know, there's a certain symmetry to what you are asking me......
Dain bramage caused my peach imspediment.
Tooth? Tooth? You can't handle the tooth!
Remember: He who laughs last, thinks slowest.....
DON'T BEND OVER IN THE GARDEN, MARGARET - THEM TATER'S GOT EYES!
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George K
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Finally
You lost me at the first sentence where you wrote: It was a dark and rainy night.
Everyone knows it should be: It was a dark and stormy night.

(otherwise, it was purdy)
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Nothing is as effective as homeopathy.

I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles.
- Klaus, 4/29/18
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Frank_W
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Resident Misanthrope
:lol2: Was the pie tasty?
Anatomy Prof: "The human body has about 20 sq. meters of skin."
Me: "Man, that's a lot of lampshades!"
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