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| Bush to announce change in Iraq policy; (satire) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 19 2006, 09:41 PM (53 Views) | |
| George K | Dec 19 2006, 09:41 PM Post #1 |
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Finally
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Bush to Solve Iraq with ‘Way-Forward Machine’ by Scott Ott (2006-12-19) — As President George Bush continued to seek suggestions for how to deal with the situation in Iraq, an unnamed White House official today indicated the president had already made up his mind and would soon have “major announcement.” Mr. Bush will not increase troop levels, withdrawal troops, talk with Iran and Syria or ask Israel to give Jerusalem to Hamas, the source said, but rather he plans to unveil a top-secret device dubbed “the Way-Forward Machine.” “We’ve come to a juncture in Iraq’s history,” the official said, “where there are just no good alternatives. The president has said he’s looking for a way forward, and it’s finally here.” The Way-Forward Machine, developed by defense contractor Peabody-Sherman, will allow Mr. Bush to skip the present, move into the future and then alter the outcome of events, thereby forcing the present to re-align itself with the new future. “Essentially,” the source said, “this will allow Bush to write his own legacy by simply visiting his presidential library and replacing a few documents.” While Mr. Bush would not comment directly on the leak about the Way-Forward Machine, he simply said, “I reckon it makes as much sense as any of the recommendations from the Iraq Study Group.” |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| dolmansaxlil | Dec 20 2006, 04:06 AM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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"I smell foul play, Sherman!" Tee hee. |
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"Your first 10,000 photographs are your worst." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson My Flickr Photostream | |
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4:56 PM Jul 10