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| Doctor jokes (for Bachophile) | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 19 2006, 07:56 PM (1,921 Views) | |
| George K | Dec 19 2006, 07:56 PM Post #1 |
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Finally
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How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from a general surgeon? Put it in the patients notes or EKG. How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon? Put it in a textbook. How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from a plastic/ENT surgeon? It's a trick question. You can't. The definition of a double blind study - two surgeons reading an EKG. |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| bachophile | Dec 19 2006, 08:33 PM Post #2 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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when u stop an elevator door from closing, u usually rush and put your hand on the door. thats what an internist does. but a surgeon would never use his hand, only something he doesnt need regularly so he would put his foot. and an orthopedist stops an elevator with his head. and one esp for u... a man picks up a girl in a bar and spends the night with her. in the morning the girl says..i bet u r an anesthesiologist. hey how did u know??? because i didnt feel a thing. |
| "I don't know much about classical music. For years I thought the Goldberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg did on their wedding night." Woody Allen | |
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| bachophile | Dec 19 2006, 08:35 PM Post #3 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would." But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts; no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the asshole are interchangeable. |
| "I don't know much about classical music. For years I thought the Goldberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg did on their wedding night." Woody Allen | |
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| bachophile | Dec 19 2006, 08:37 PM Post #4 |
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HOLY CARP!!!
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Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, so I reattached them, and 8 months later he gave a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others bragged: "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States." |
| "I don't know much about classical music. For years I thought the Goldberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg did on their wedding night." Woody Allen | |
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| George K | Dec 19 2006, 08:43 PM Post #5 |
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Finally
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What's the difference between an anesthesiologist and a urologist? (I may have told you this before) In the operating room, the urologist is the one holding someone else's penis.
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| George K | Dec 19 2006, 08:44 PM Post #6 |
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Finally
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Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, "Looks like a duck, flies like a duck... it's probably a duck," shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away. The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm...green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck." He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone. A third bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck. |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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| George K | Dec 20 2006, 06:49 AM Post #7 |
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Finally
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And more.... How do you hide a $100 from a cardiothoracic surgeon? Paste it to their kids forehead. How do you hide a $100 from a radiologist? Give it to the patient. How do you hide a $100 from an internist? Put it under a dressing. |
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A guide to GKSR: Click "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08 Nothing is as effective as homeopathy. I'd rather listen to an hour of Abba than an hour of The Beatles. - Klaus, 4/29/18 | |
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